Summary: Logan hasn't seen his family for 10 years after coming out to them - and they didn't take it well. The only family member Logan talks to, his cousin Janus, comes to visit with some bad news that doesn't change anything but does at the same time.
TW - This whole chapter surrounds parental grief and estrangement due to sexuality.
Words: 1670
The last knot being completed on Logan's tie indicated he was ready for the day. He didn't have work until the afternoon but he still felt the need to dress up in a suit so he wasn't rushing just before. As he walked slowly to the kitchen he smiled at the pictures on the walls. There weren't any family pictures like normal people had - there were a lot of pictures of his achievements. People thought Logan was a little narcissistic because of it of course but he had a good reason to be estranged to his family. The only picture Logan had of him as a child was him sat with his favourite cousin Janus who was the same age as him. That cousin was the only person Logan spoke to.
Beside the scarce pictures of Logan's achievements was a growing collage of the love of Logan's life - Roman Redd. They had been dating for a couple of years and safe to say Logan was absolutely and completely in love. Roman was a waiter at Logan's favourite restaurant downtown so as well as falling in love with the food he fell in love with the cheery man's charisma. They had just seemed to find each other by chance and everything from friendship, romance, and now possibly living together was in the talks and it was all going smoothly.
"Keys..." Logan was blindly talking to himself and wondering around the apartment thinking through his day. He had 10 episodes of Brooklyn-99 to binge, then work where he had to organise three meetings with software developers about his business plans, and then Roman wanted to 'hang out' and have an impromptu date after dealing with the annoying public all day. Roman practically lived with his boyfriend already they had so many dates.
Half way through the second episode of Brooklyn-99 Logan's bell rang indicating someone was wanting to get into his apartment. Probably Roman wanting cuddles. "Hello?" Logan called through the intercom, expecting to hear his lover's sing-songs voice saying he brought some Disney discs and Logan should finally watch the Lion King. But he was greeted by a different voice - a more macabre voice.
"Hey Lo, I came for a visit. Can you let me in?"
Logan had never heard his cousin sound upset before, they were usually quite good together at being non-expressive. But he mumbled an agreement and unlocked the door, waiting at the front door for Janus to knock again. When he finally saw his cousin Janus let go a small smile that was obviously faked. "What's wrong Jan?"
"I have some news." Janus had his hands in his pockets and he walked to the sofa, pausing the TV for the homeowner. Logan followed cautiously and sat down opposite him - too confused to say anything. "Have you talked to your parents recently?"
"Not in 10 years." Logan's parents were homophobic, they didn't take their son's coming out well. He was their 'most promising' kid as he was relatively smart all his life so they were distraught such a good guy could provide no kids. He could - he just didn't particularly want to. Not until he was married and comfortable with Roman anyway. At this point Logan was settled with the fact his parents may not love him and was happy finding the love in other places. "Why do you ask? What happened?" Janus' expression already showed that something had happened and he bit his lips in thought before speaking again.
"Um... Well, your mom died last night."
Janus was a policeman so was used to saying shocking things brashly. And this was shocking - last time Logan even saw his mother was five years ago at another cousin's marriage and they stayed civil but didn't talk much. She was perfectly healthy though and there was no news of any illnesses reported to him. This just all seemed so sudden, like a joke. "Did she tell you to say that so she wouldn't feel guilty about my annual texts on her birthday?"
Janus sighed again and got closer to his cousin to hug him. "No, no, your father said it's good for you to know when though he doesn't approve of your 'choice' and yada, yada, yada... It was quite sudden so you didn't miss anything. Heart attack." It was obvious Janus was trying not to cry too, there were a lot of memories both of them had of Logan's mother even though she didn't like either of them. At least since Janus was bisexual with a preference for women he could stay slightly closeted and just secretive about his partner - but Logan missed a huge chapter of memories his parents could have let him have if they weren't homophobic.
Logan should be sad, and he was a little as he wasn't as happy as he was before this news. But he wasn't anywhere close to crying. "OK..." Was the only thing he could mumble. "Am I invited to the funeral?"
"It's next Saturday, you don't have to go if you don't want to of course." Janus spoke gently as he always did and put his arm around his cousin as said cousin just stared ahead of him in thought. "How you feeling? You want me to stay for a bit?"
Logan shook his head which made Janus stand up. He still stayed close and smiled enough to reassure but Logan was now focused, for the first time since their petty childhood arguments, on getting Janus out of the house. There was so much things to do today and now he had to deal with this confusing new emotion and new news he did not expect. Unfortunately Janus was one of his best friends and could read his family member like an open book.
"I take that question back actually. We're talking." Janus marched back into the apartment and lay on the sofa, turning the television off so there was no escape for Logan to talk about his emotions. "I know what you're like when you bottle up your emotions, and I'd much rather you'd throw a piece of paper at me rather than your darling boyfriend. Talk."
Talk about what? There was so much flying around Logan's mind and nothing at the same time. So Logan just stood opposite his cousin and stared as if he was having some kind of malfunction. "I don't know what to say."
"Perfectly valid. It must be difficult... What's your last memory of her?"
Logan paused again and looked ahead of him. His memories of his mother were fading, to be perfectly honest, and were being replaced with his boyfriend who did honestly love him unconditionally. He had vague memories of childhood and important events but out of adulthood conversations he had with his mother were minimal. They saw each other at Logan's cousin's wedding but didn't speak - they just kept to people their age that had similar views to them. The last in depth conversation was probably Logan's coming out where he desperately tried to explain why he felt what he felt as if he had to justify it.
He tried to pretend it didn't hurt when in reality it did. Now, even with a normal job and a normal romantic relationship the words said by his parents always made him feel abnormal. Even with years of therapy that feeling never disappeared, he just learnt to manage it. Until now.
"I wish she accepted me." Logan leant into his cousin and sighed, sniffling a little even though he didn't want to cry. He did think sometimes about driving with Roman to his parents' house just to show his parents he had found his forever person - that was going to be impossible for one of them now. Logan's mother probably died thinking her son was sinful and lonely and had no purpose in life. Logan was determined to show his remaining parent that wasn't the case. "I think I might call off work today, take a drive to Dad."
"Want me to come with you?" Janus chirped - Logan's parents still liked him so it would make the blow a little less hard. At first Logan was going to refuse but he eventually nodded just in case this spur of the moment decision wasn't going to result in more hurt. The man grabbed his car and house keys and stuffed them in his pockets before unleashing a little smile.
"Let's get Roman."
*****
It felt like a miracle but Logan was being held by his father into a hug. His father was crying and actually apologising for how he treated his son before, saying how now he was his only family he should keep him close. He let Logan vent and explain any bad words he said but wouldn't stop apologising.
And Roman was behind him, smiling proudly, reaching out for Logan's hand while he was free. Logan knew he was never going to be best friends with his father but at least they were reconciling - but Logan's soulmate was all he cared about. "This is my boyfriend Dad, he's called Roman." For the first time Logan's father was smiling seeing his son looking lovingly and holding hands with another man.
"It's super nice to meet you!" Roman always sounded so enthusiastic, even in sudden situations like this that felt like judgement day. He had work in a few hours but reiterated that this was more important than a silly shift at a diner. They already knew they were each other's forever they didn't even need to tell each other. Logan's father seemed to get that vibe too and wore a smile.
It was still unbelievable Logan was in a relationship with Roman - and he was moving in soon. Imagining where Logan was in a year made him imagine lots of cuddles and kisses and watching him smile at his father made Logan consider buying a ring. This whole life was amazing.