I've pretty much decided to avoid Louis at all costs.
Yesterday he was in the kitchen and I went to make dinner but as soon as I saw him in there alone, pouring himself a bowl of coco pops, I just turned around and went back in my room. He was there in that fucking kitchen all bloody night, alone. Marie went to watch Liam and Zayn practice for lacrosse and then they went to a party afterwards, not coming back home after that. So I didn't eat last night because he was in there and I believe he was in there all night on purpose, pulling my strings to see what I'd do.
It's Thursday today and I have a lecture.
I cannot be bothered to wake up but I know if I don't, Anne-Marie will be in here fighting me out the covers and pulling me by the hair to class.
My phone vibrates along the bedside table with its alarm. I click it off, opening my eyes to the semi dark room. Yawning, I turn on the lamp and stretch, hearing my back pop a little and I throw the covers off of me, grabbing my towel and quickly walking to the bathroom, locking it shut behind me. Surprised no one is in here really.
I relieve my bladder and turn on the shower, stripping of my clothes and whilst I wait for the water to warm up, I brush my teeth. I see Louis' toothbrush and I have the urge to just toss it into the bin or dunk it into the toilet but I don't. Instead, I spit the toothpaste from my mouth and shove my toothbrush back into the pot, closing the cabinet and stepping into the warm shower.
I'm in no rush this morning, thankfully. It's seven and my lecture starts at nine so I have a little time to get ready. I scrub the shampoo into my hair, washing my body too and enjoy the warmth of the warm water beading down my skin. I close my eyes, water clumping into my eyelashes.
I must've been standing under the water like that for about five minutes before there's a bang on the door, making me jump and slip. I go to lean against the shower curtain to only realise my mistake and I'm flopping out the bath tub, onto the floor with a slap. I groan, life flashing before my eyes as I went down. My side fucking hurts, throbbing and achy. I bite my lip and squeeze my eyes shut to stop the tears that threaten to come to play.
"You alright in there?" Louis shouts, banging on the door.
For God's sake, it's always him, isn't it.
"What happened?" Zayn's voice filters through the door, mixing with the sound of the water's shh.
"Dunno." Another bang on the door. "Marie, is it you? Or is it Harry?"
I stand, my left side screaming as I do and I shut off the water, wincing whilst grabbing my towel and wrapping it around me. I practically limp over to the bathroom door, unlocking it and opening it.
Zayn gives me a concerned look, Louis just frowning. I brush past them both, walking into my room and closing the door.
I bite my fist as it's better than crying. I grip my side, looking down to see a huge red mark prickling with purple and black hues from a newly forming bruise, from my rib splodge down toward my thigh.
There's a soft knock on my door and Zayn's head pokes around the corner. He looks down at my skin and his mouth pulls down in a frown.
"Poor baby," He mumbles, coming in. "What happened?"
"Louis made me jump and I slipped. I fell out the bloody bath, Z," I say, creeping red in my cheeks form the humiliation.
He shakes his head. "You need ice on that. Wait there." He walks out to soon come in with a bag of frozen peas. Thank the Lord for Zayn's bloody peas.
He lays it on the worst of the bruising area, making me hiss from the ice burning sensation.
"You have class at nine, right?" He asks.
I nod. "Where did you go last night?" I ask.
He grins. "Went to Luke's party. We only just got back. Marie is a little hungover."
I shake my head, grabbing the peas. "I can do it, thanks."
He gives my cheek a light pat. "You need to be more careful."
I poke my tongue out at him. He walks out the room, closing the door behind him. I sigh, going over to my wardrobe and picking out a plain black wool jumper with some skinny jeans. What can I say? All I own is black skinny jeans.
I wring out my hair a little before pulling it back with a red bandanna. I grab my notebook and Ali Smith book that Marie and I thankfully finished reading yesterday before she went to the fields.
I walk out the room, biting my tongue to stop from crying out from the pain and go to the kitchen, grabbing a bowl and pouring myself some granola, popping some blueberries inside it and sit down at the island.
"Did someone hurt themselves?" Marie asks, walking into the room with slight bags under her eyes but an easy smile on her face.
I pout, nodding a little before taking a bite of my granola.
"It's Louis' fault," Zayn chimes in, flipping the kettle on and grabbing the box of coco pops.
"Oh, knew it would be my fault," Louis bites out from behind me. "Grab my mug, will you, tit."
Zayn turns, grabbing Louis' green mug with the duck on the front, dumping a teabag inside.
"May I ask how it's Louis' fault?" Marie asks, popping bread into the toaster.
"He pounded on the door and it scared me," I say to her, not giving Louis eye contact, though I know he's staring at me, I can see his blue eyes bore into me from the corner of my eye.
I can see him roll his eyes. "You were in there for ages, I was about to piss myself."
I don't reply, just finish off my cereal and wash the bowl, placing it on the drying wrack. I walk back into my room, grabbing my phone and sitting cross legged on the bed. I click the call button and it rings for a moment before it connects and mum's face pops up onto the screen. She grins at me, waving.
"Hi, sweetie, how's it going?" She asks, sipping at a cup of tea.
I nod. "It's alright. I fell over, just a moment ago." I lift up my jumper, bringing the phone over to my side and she hisses at the sight.
"That looks painful, did you add ice to it?"
"Yeah. Where's dad?" I ask, biting at my thumbnail.
"He's here. Robin! Harry wants to see you!" She yells off camera.
Robin, my stepdad, comes into view then, over mum's shoulder and he grins toward me with a wave. "Hey, kiddo, how're you holding up?"
I shrug. "I finished the book I'm meant to finish by today so I call that a win. How's everything your end?"
"All's good here. Gemma's coming back for a few days this weekend. Maybe we could come down to visit?" He asks and I smile with a nod.
"I'd like that. I miss you guys," I admit, looking down at my jeans and picking at a small fray of thread from the inside of the leg.
Mum sighs a little. "We miss you too, love. So much. It's so quiet in the house now that you're gone."
I roll my eyes. "You're sounding like I've past away," I mumble with a slight grin, looking up into the camera before looking back down again.
Robin chuckles. "You're too strong to die yet, kiddo, I'll be first going."
I shake my head. "Don't say that, dad. You're gonna live 'til you're like ninety five."
"Eh, I can live with that."
"Promise me you'll put me in a retirement home when I hit eighty five, Harry," Mum says with a point of a finger and I giggle.
"I was planning to put you in one when you hit sixty," I tease.
She gasps. "Rude! Go on, get outta here, you've probably got a lesson soon."
I nod. "I do. I love you guys, I'll speak to you later, yeah?"
They both nod.
"Bye baby boy," Mum says, blowing a kiss.
"Bye, H! Have fun!" Dad gives a short wave and I return it, clicking the end call.
I feel somewhat better now that I've heard their voices. It's weird. I thought I'd love the thought of being far away from them but instead, I miss them every day and just want to be able to give them a hug each.
I get up, grabbing my stuff and leaving the room, Marie meeting me in the hallway.
"Oh, there you are, was just about to come collect you. I'm leaving now, if you want to come with." She turns on her heel to walk back from where she came from.
I nod. "Yeah, better early than late." I grab my coat from the peg, pulling it on and shoving my feet into my boots.
"Have fun, guys, see you later!" Zayn calls with a wave.
"Missing you already!" Louis hollers with a cocky grin. We lock eyes before I look back down at my hands where my books are being held, following Marie out the door and closing it behind me.
We're almost there when Marie speaks again, our walk here was quiet.
"Why are you avoiding Lou, H?" She asks.
I look up to her and her blue eyes are curious. I shrug. "Because I don't want conflict. I don't want to ruin shit if I open my mouth and say the wrong things again. He's seen me being vulnerable and that scares me, A. No one has seen me like that and I never do. Sure, Zayn did but he helped. Louis was the one that made it happen, I don't want it to happen again."
She wraps an arm around my waist. "You know he didn't mean to. He was pissed off, he got disturbed out of a good banging from the sounds of it. And although we both were getting annoyed with it, it was still disturbing his privacy."
I nod, sighing. "I know but he should know better than that. He could put all of us in consideration first, you know? I just don't want arguments breaking out. It'll make the whole living with each other thing a lot harder."
She smiles. "I know. But cut him some slack, yeah? He's a nice guy and funny, he livens the place up."
I scoff. "That's an overstatement."
She hits me on the arm. "Shut up."
I grin at her and we walk into the lecture room, finding our seats again.
And for fuck's sake, Becky throws an essay at us, making us write a thousand word essay on the techniques used within the book that links with realism and why it could have been used. It makes me want to pull my hair out.
I'm just glad we read the bleeding thing because if we didn't I'd be screwed right about now.
I tap my pen against my notebook whilst I scan through the quotes that I sticky tabbed, chewing on my lip, leg bouncing. I don't know. I just don't know. How do we know that the author used the colour blue to show sadness? Maybe her favourite colour was blue and she decided to use it, not everything is so fucking deep, Jesus.
Right, I know I need to concentrate but it's hard when my brain just keeps averting back to different scenarios over the week and what could potentially happen in the future that it makes my blood pump faster around my body, chills shaking my body.
"Harry, snap out of it," Marie whispers, plummeting me back to now. "Whatever is going on in that beautiful brain of yours isn't worth stressing over. You have barely written five hundred words yet, we have like twenty minutes left of lesson."
I gulp at that, looking up to the clock to see that it's almost ten thirty. Fuck. I shake my head to clear my mind. Right, what was the question again? I wonder if I locked the door. Did I water my cactus? Wait, that cactus doesn't need watering. Wait or did it? No. Maybe. Is the metaphor here a part of imagery? Or is that something different? Fuck, why can't I remember.
I scribble away at my notebook, making it up as I go along because if I don't put something on the page, I'll definitely fail this course. I write a whole page and a bit before Becky is telling us to pass down our papers to the front.
We hand our papers to the person in front of us, a trail of papers going down the lecture hall until they're all in the front where Becky is picking up pile after pile.
"Good job today, guys. I'll see you tomorrow, we have a double lecture, don't forget." Becky smiles at us, gesturing with her head that we can leave.
I stand, gathering my books up. Anne-Marie takes them from me, shoving it in her satchel that is now slung over her shoulder. She turns me around and pushes me toward the exit.
We file out the room, going down the corridor and down the stairs until we're out on the campus.
"Jesus Christ I rambled throughout the whole thing," I breathe out.
She giggles. "Me too. Come on, you need to get rid of that nervous energy. I say we go for a run or something." She shrugs.
I shake my head. "Do I look like I'm ready for a run?" I point down to what I'm wearing.
She points down to what she's wearing, a pleated black skirt with black tights and a thick red crop jumper. "No shit, I'm not either, hence why we go back to the flat and change. Come on, you haven't done much exercise and nor have I." She grabs my wrist, pulling me toward the direction of the flats.
I roll my eyes. "Fine. But you can buy me a smoothie after."
Her lips thin and she nods. "Alright, smoothie sounds like a good shout."
We get indoors and I go into my room, dumping my books onto the desk and opening my wardrobe. I don't even know if I have anything athletic to wear.
I chew at my lip, bringing out a pair of denim shorts which, no, those won't do and how the fuck did they get in my suitcase? Mum, I bet she packed them.
I thump my head against the wardrobe door, sighing heavily. Marie knocks on the door, coming in.
"Oh, Harry," She says with a pout. "Do you seriously not have anything?" She moves me out the way with her hip, pushing clothes along the rail to and fro, hangers squeaking against the rail. She shakes her head, looking in the drawers. "I mean, you could wear this top but you have nothing in the sense of bottoms. Right, wait here." She walks out the room.
I look at the top she chose and shrug it off. She comes back in with a pair of grey jogger shorts.
"The hell did you get those from?" I ask, taking them from her.
"None of your business, just put them on."
"You stole them from Z's room, didn't you," I state and she rolls her eyes, nodding.
"He won't mind. Just put them on before I do it myself." She crosses her arms and I do as I'm told, flailing out of my skinny jeans and putting the shorts on, using the draw strings to tighten them around my waist, tying it up as a bow at the front.
I pop on the white top with the black outlines of hands dotting around the fabric and Marie smiles at me.
"Looking good. Right, you're not wearing those boots out there, either. Do you have any other shoes with you?"
I suppress an eye roll, going under my bed and bringing out my old white lace trainers that have somewhat discoloured around the edges, the laces light blue at the moment.
"Oh my God, they're hideous."
My mouth swings open toward her. "No they're not!" I protest, shoving them on.
"H, they look as old as my dead great granddad. How the hell did you get them in a state like that?"
I shrug. "They're used for walking."
She shakes her head. "You could at least wash them. I kind of feel sorry for them."
I narrow my eyes at them. "Do you want to go running or whatever you've decided for us to do, or are you going to continue bashing my sense of shoes for the rest of the afternoon?"
"I can do both. Come on." She walks out the room and I trail behind her.
...
On the field, Marie decides we run the track. I'm jogging, I don't want to run and my side already hurts from earlier's events, the stitch accompanying it isn't helping either. She's quite fast to be honest, she's already a few paces in front and I push my long legs to go a little faster to catch up with her.
"Come on, H! You're slow!" She calls over her shoulder.
"I'm trying!" I pant out.
She turns, jogging backwards. "Doesn't this feel good?"
"No! I feel like I'm about to die."
She rolls her eyes. "Don't be so dramatic. We can play a bit of footie afterwards, if you wanted."
I shake my head. "You do know I have asthma, right? And no thanks."
She quirks a brow. "Wait really? You have asthma?"
I nod. "It's not as bad as it used to be but yeah, I do."
"Oh shit. Well, don't die, okay?" She turns back around, slowing down her pace now.
I fall into step with her.
"Z, Li and I were thinking of going to the open bar night tomorrow. Wanna join us? There's gonna be karaoke and Liam's already decided to sing with Niall. It would be fun if you came with us," She says, not even breaking a bloody sweat.
"Is Lou gonna be there?" I ask.
She shrugs. "Probably. But I think you can go one day in his presence. You don't even have to talk to him if you don't want to. But it's been almost a week now since you last spoke, don't you think you should?"
I shake my head. "It's been like two days since we last spoke."
She rolls her eyes. "Alright, fine. But that's still a long ass time with someone you supposedly live with."
My lips thin. "I once ignored my sister for two weeks when I was nine because she broke my action man toy. So I don't think two days is too long."
She gives me a look as if to say 'really' before shaking her head. "You're something else. I though Niall was dramatic and Lou for that matter, but you're worse."
I push her playfully and she pushes me back, making me lose my step and I trip over my own foot.
She snorts out a laugh. "I am so sorry! Are you okay?" She laughs, helping me back up.
I nod. "Yeah, what's one more injury today?"
There's a clap that echoes around us and my head snaps up toward the bleachers where... of fucking course.
Louis' standing, clapping and laughing, shaking his head. "At least I'm not the only one that makes Curly fall!" He shouts out toward us.
My eyes narrow at him. Don't stoke to his level, Styles.
Anne-Marie giggles at Louis' statement. "At least I didn't give him proper damage, unlike you!" She hollers back.
His brows crease. "What do you mean?"
"Did you not see?" Marie yells back.
He shakes his head, slowly stepping down the steps. Oh for fuck's sake. He meets us on the field and Marie grabs the hem of my top, rising it up and I swat her hand away, making the top fall back down again.
Louis must've caught sight of it because his eyes are widening. "Oh my God, Harry, are you okay? That looks really painful."
I don't reply, I just turn and begin walking away, breath heaving from the running.
Someone's touching my hip and I flinch, looking behind me to see Louis. He drops his hand.
"Are you okay?"
I continue walking.
"Harry, I am talking to you, can you not act like I'm a fucking brick wall, just for one second?" His voice gets louder, brows creasing.
I bite the inside of my cheek, thumb pressing between each of my fingers, making a few pop unintentionally. I go over toward the locker rooms because I don't know where else to run to. I need water.
He follows me inside, trainers squeaking against the tiled floor. He grabs my shoulder, pulling me to face him.
"Will you stop for one second? Why do you keep running from me? What have I done wrong?" He asks exasperatedly.
I look down at my shoes then back up toward him. "I don't want something bad happening between us," I mumble. "If I ignore you, then maybe that'll stop it from happening."
His gaze softens. "Haz."
I shake my head. "You... I was scared," I whisper, running my nails along my bare arms that are beginning to feel cold now that my heart rate is slowing down and the chilly air is taking over again.
"Harry, I am so sorry about what happened that day. Really, truly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you and I didn't mean to leave you in that state, I just... I didn't know what to do about it. We're both not perfect, you've hurt me too."
I lick my dry lips. "I apologised as soon as it happened and I didn't mean to say it that way."
He nods. "Like you keep saying."
"I'm not homophobic," I blurt out.
He rolls his eyes, scoffing slightly. "It just seems like you are."
I breathe heavily out through my nose. I fucking well ain't, why can't he see that? "I'm not! I accept people, Lou."
"Then why don't you accept me and the way I am?" He mutters quietly.
I shake my head. "I accept you, Lou. I just don't want to hear you fucking every guy on campus every night. It gets exhausting!" I walk over to the water fountain, taking a quick drink from it, the water dribbling down my chin and I wipe it away with the back of my hand.
He nods, running a hand down my arm. "Alright. I'm sorry."
I nod. "Okay."
"Can you stop ignoring me now? It's hard being in the same house as you and knowing you hate me."
I shake my head, brows creasing. "I never said I hated you, Lou."
He gives me a smile, lips pointing to resemble a small 'v' and it makes my stomach do that weird flop again. His eyes scan mine for a moment before they drop their gaze toward the floor.
"Alright then. As long as you're sure," He mumbles.
I nod. For God's sake. I bring him in for a hug. He wraps his small arms around my neck, cheek squished against mine and I can feel the smile as it makes his cheeks scrunch further. His vanilla scent tickles my nose and a fucking butterfly flaps in my tummy.
I tell it to shut the fuck up because I'm not in anyway crushing over the dude. I mean, sure, I don't know my preferences. I don't know how I feel toward women or men. I've never really had a relationship before to be sure. I've kissed girls before in the past but they've not done much to me, not even a stir in my pants or a skip of a beat in my heart. But I've never been with a boy or so much as kissed them before. The most I've done is hug them and even then, that didn't do much to me. But this is the most my body has responded to someone and it confuses the fuck out of me.
"Right, Curly, you need a shower, you smell," Louis says with a smile and I hit him on the chest.
"Shut up."
He pokes his tongue out at me, motioning with his head for me to follow and I do, a weight lifting off my shoulders now that we've got that sorted. I just hope it stays that way.
A/N- HI
Okay so Wattpad FINALLY decided to work fgs. I had to delete my CACHE history whatever the fuck that meant.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter!
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Stay Safe XOXOXOXOXOXO