My God it's happening.
It's today.
Today is the day it's happening and my blood pumps through my veins, adrenaline buzzing through every pour but a wave in my stomach rolls over and a heavy weight pushes in my chest.
I look out the slightly smeared window from yesterday's downpour that has dried up with today's morning sun. The scenery around us, I wouldn't classify as scenery as such, it's just the stretch of motorway with us passing cars and cars over taking us in metallic splashes of colour. There's a few trees that blur into one green and yellow mass whilst we zoom down the motorway, a few puddles splashing up the wheels with a tshh sound.
"Yellow car," I mumble, pointing out the car with my index finger before bringing the same hand up to brush my curls back. It's getting longer, much longer than I anticipated, reaching just above my shoulders.
I chew at my bottom lip, leg bouncing absentmindedly.
Mum rests her hand on my knee for a moment, giving it a pat. "Calm yourself down, love," She gently says, blue eyes passing to my own green ones for a moment before looking back onto the road ahead of her.
I nod, twisting my ring on my right middle finger around, looking down at the movement and enjoying the coolness it gives.
"I'm just nervous," I admit, looking back out the window to see a red Honda pass with two kids in the back fighting.
Mum hums, nodding. "I know, sweetheart but this is something you've wanted to do so you should at least be a little bit excited about it too," She reasons.
"I am! I just... What if the course is too hard or I fall behind? What if my roommates and I don't get along and I can't find a replacement dorm?" I ramble, voice coming out slightly quicker than normal with the nerves snaking through me. I take a deep shuddery breath, letting it out slowly.
Mum turns off to exit nine onto the A34.
We've been up since five to get on the road to try beat rush hour at eight but we've still been stuck in some traffic, meaning this journey has already taken longer than needed. I never ate breakfast either so my stomach rumbles and I mentally tell it to shut the fuck up.
"Have you thought about the extra curriculum activities you want to do, Harry?" Mum asks, breaking me out of my hunger thoughts.
I see a service station come into view with the famous golden arches looming overhead. "Can we get a McDonald's?" I ask, motioning with my head to the service station.
Mum passes it and a frown falls across my face. "You have loads of places to go on campus, Harry, you can wait half an hour until we get there. I told you to bring something along for the journey and you didn't."
I suppress an eye roll. "I haven't really thought about it. I don't know if I should have do something sporty to keep me fit because I know I wouldn't exercise if I had the choice. But then and I don't know if I want to go for sport because I might look a fool out there. Maybe just do a book club but then there's the whole doing literature anyway and I'm bound to be reading loads of books anyway," I answer her question from before and mum nods, lips pursed.
"See what there is first. Maybe apply to more than one and give them a try and if you don't like them, drop them and do the one you like most," She suggests, us now going through a town and I watch the shops pass.
I turn up the volume of the stereo, my phone plugged into the AUX chord. I change the song over to a Rolling Stones song.
"I can't get no, satisfaction," I mumble along, drumming my hand against my lap to the beat, head bopping.
We turn a corner and there is the logo for the University of Reading, red top with yellow shells, the bottom black with a white cross, red rose in the middle. I swallow back the sudden lump forming in my throat.
Mum goes through the roads until we're face to face with red brick block of flats. Simple design and I don't exactly hate it but I don't love it either.
"Do you have the key they gave you?" Mum asks, parking the car in one of the parking spots closest to the building.
I fish out my key dangling from a lucky charm key chain that I've had since I was six. It's a small thing, shaped as a cartoon frog, the green felt worn away slightly, its facial features painted on there near gone. But I'll never get rid of it. It's been with me since I was younger, it's helped me through a lot, it's made me feel hope.
I trace the number of my dorm engraved into the brass key with my thumb, feeling the curve of the eight go around.
Mum taps the steering wheel, looking up at the building. "Well then, Mr, you ready to start a new life through those walls?"
I bite at my lip, looking up and giving a quick nod, unbuckling my seat belt slowly. She breathes out slowly, nodding as well and she clambers out the car, opening up the back doors and the boot where all my stuff is crammed in.
"Three years of living in this place to come and you'd think you'd keep most of your stuff back home. You may as well have packed your wardrobe and bed in here, sweetheart," Mum jokes, looking at me through the boot with a smile.
I clamber out the car, walking around to the boot to grab the suitcase she's trying to drag out of the back. "I've got it, mum. You can get the duvet if you'd like," I say, slinging my rucksack over my shoulder.
"We'll have to take a few trips," Mum points out, taking the duvet set and pillows from the back seat, closing the door with her foot.
I wheel the first suitcase with me, balancing a box of my books that I don't want to depart with, in the palm of my hand. I punch in the code to the flats and the door buzzes, signalling it's unlocked. With my hip, I push it open and I look around to the numbers on the ground floor.
"Think I might be on the first floor, mum. Should we take the lift? We might need to with the suitcases," I say, gazing around at the numbers on the door that go from 1-5.
Mum nods, already walking to the small lifts and punching the up button with her knuckle, practically drowning in the duvet that's against her chest and pooling down to her feet. I lift the end up, tossing it onto the top of the pillows.
We step in and I click the first floor, waiting anxiously for it to stop. I'm not keen on lifts, I've always had a niggling feeling in the back of my mind that it'll break down or simply snap off its rope and plummet to the floor. It keeps my anxiety on high alert until it dings open and I step out quickly, spotting my dorm number at the end of the hallway.
I walk up to it, taking a deep breath and with slight shaky fingers, I insert the key into the lock, twisting and it clicks open. I push the door further open, walking inside.
It's a huge space, walking straight into a front room with a leather sofa and small TV, wallpaper painted cream, carpet grey. Through an archway to the left of the room, walks into a large open kitchen, wooden floors, black counter top cabinets, the cabinets themselves white. There's a sink with a few dirty dishes stacked inside, remnants of a spaghetti dinner clinging to the grey china plates.
My nose scrunches up a the sight of them. "You'd think people would clean up after themselves," I mumble, turning around to go through into my room that I was shown when I got accepted to this place.
It's a small room, the walls cream much like the front room and the floor is dark oak. There's a black framed bed sat against the left corner of the room, on the right is an oak desk with a blue swivel chair, shelves glued to the wall above it. The bedside table is tiny and is only big enough to home a cup and a clock at the least. There's a small oak wardrobe near the door and I don't think I'll be able to fit all the clothes I bought in there.
That's where the room ends and I'm looking forward to making it look a little more homey. I already know I want to add a cactus to the desk and a few books to the windowsill.
I want my posters of The Rolling Stones and Arctic Monkeys across the walls to give it more colour.
"Nice little nook," Mum says, dumping my duvet and pillows onto the bed.
I nod. "It's smaller than my room back home."
She smiles. "Hopefully you'll be able to cram all the stuff you brought into it. Told you not to bring so much, didn't I?"
I sigh, nodding. "Alright, mum knows best," I give her a smirk and she hits me playfully on the arm. "I'll go grab the other stuff from the car."
I leave the room quietly, not wanting to be too loud in case a roommate is sleeping in their rooms. I stumble down the stairs, legs flailing as I go and I hold in a giggle at how weird I probably look stumbling down them.
I push the door open and quickly grab the other small suitcase, holding two boxes stacked on top of each other, closing the car door and re entering the flat, walking up the stairs. One box falls, tumbling down the steps again and I freeze, wincing at the sound of the stuff inside clinking and clanging together, hoping whatever box that was didn't hold something fragile inside.
"That sounded painful," A voice sounds from behind me and I jump, swivelling around to see a girl with pink hair pinned back into a short ponytail, staring up at me with the biggest grin on her face, blue eyes like ice melting within clear depths of water, shining brightly.
I give a weak smile back. "I'm not sure I want that one now," I say, gesturing with my head toward the box.
She laughs easily like the breeze and she goes to bend to pick it up and I quickly step down the steps to grab it.
"You don't have to, I've got it," I say, settling the first box down to put that one on top again. "I should've just taken the lift, to be honest."
She smiles. "I was just about to go to my room. You just got here?" She asks, walking with me to the lifts.
I nod. "Yeah, you?"
She shakes her head. "I got here yesterday. What dorm you in?"
"Dorm eight, you?" I look to her, entering the lift and they close shut behind us.
Her eyes light up. "Oh my God, me too! I'm Anne-Marie, by the way but my friends call me A or Marie."
I hold my hand out that was holding the suitcase. "Harry, friends call be Harry... Or H."
"Nice to meet you, H." She takes my hand and her smile broadens. "So, what course you taking?" She questions whilst we walk into our dorms. She goes into the kitchen, filling the kettle up and flipping it on.
"I'm taking English Lit, you?"
She nods. "Same with me. Most of us in this dorm are taking some sort of English."
"How many of us are there?"
She holds up three fingers. "There was three of us, now four as you're here."
"Harry, have you got everything out the c- oh, hello," Mum says, wandering into the room with a smile.
I dust pink. It's probably weird for a mum to be helping their son unpack for uni when he's twenty already.
But by the look on Anne-Marie's face, my thoughts are just the opposite because she's giving mum a sweet smile.
"Tea?" She asks, holding up her empty cup which is designed to look like a flamingo, the handle its head and neck curled in on itself.
Mum shakes her head. "I'm alright love, I'll be leaving once Harry's unpacked, I gotta take the journey back home, yet."
Marie nods, dumping a teabag into her cup whilst the kettle boils. "If you need any help, H, I'll be more than happy to help you unpack."
I smile. "Thank you but I think I've got it covered."
I walk into my room, dumping my boxes onto the bed and desk, unzipping my first suitcase and hanging some of the clothes up already.
"Marie, make me a tea, please! Hope you're not using my teabags for yourself!" A sweet high pitched voice sounds, a little rasp to it. I look up to see if I can source who's face goes with that voice but no one is in the hallways.
"Your tea tastes better than mine though!" Marie shouts back.
"Buy your own if you love it so much!" The voice yells.
"But it's expensive!"
"It's not that expensive you cheapskate little shit!"
"Nice roommates you've got," Mum whispers to me when she steps into the room.
I snort at that, shaking my head. My hair falls against my face when I bend down to grab more clothes and I brush it back with my hand for it to fall in my face again.
Mum tuts, coming over and brushing my hair back with her fingers, grabbing a hair tie from around her wrist to secure it back in a really small low bun.
I swat her hand away. "I look ridiculous with my hair like this," I mumble, looking into the tiny mirror to see the bun looking more like a small knot of hair.
She helps lay clothes into my wardrobe and the drawer. "Don't be so stupid, it's only for a moment whilst you unpack."
My lips thin, ripping into the tape around the box with a pen. I open the flaps up and peer inside to see that thankfully, this box had nothing fragile inside, just a few books and stationary. I put the stationary pot onto the desk, shoving the variety of pens, pencils and highlighters inside.
Mum unboxes the books, shoving them onto the shelf.
"Your tea, rich twat!" Marie yells, stomping past the open door, knocking harshly onto the door next to mine.
I see a small hand reach out to grab the cup. "Love you," They coo mockingly, closing the door.
Marie smirks, flipping off the closed door. She looks inside my room, coming in. "Knock, knock. You sure you don't need help?" She grabs a few books and pops them onto the shelf anyway.
"Can you stop with the fucking yelling, I have a mean hangover and you ain't helping!" A voice grumbles, a door opposite mine opens and out comes a guy with dishevelled raven hair, stubbled jaw with a great jawline. His eyes are like the richest of chocolate, the 80% cocoa kind. His olive skin is exposed from where his pyjama top isn't on but grey stripe pyjama bottoms are.
His eyes soften when he sees me and mum and he gives a weak smile. "Sorry for the swearing and the yelling," He says, voice slightly deep but gentle. "I'm Zayn."
I smile his way. "No need to apologise, mum's used to it, I'm used to it. I'm Harry."
"You wouldn't have a hangover if you didn't drink so damn much last night, Z," Marie remarks with a smile.
He rolls his eyes, leaning against the door frame, crossing his arms. "It's freshers week, Marie. Of course I'm going to be drinking a ton."
She shakes her head with a small smile.
"Do you guys know each other from before here?" I ask, noticing how relaxed they are around each other.
Zayn shakes his head. "I didn't know Marie from before, no. I do have some friends attending here though, ones in there, has he introduced himself yet?" He points with his thumb toward the door where Anne-Marie passed the cup through.
I shake my head and he sighs.
"Why am I not surprised?" He slams his fist into the door continuously. "Come greet our new roommate, prick!"
The door swings open and out steps a guy, shaking his ruffled fawn hair head. "Alright, alright, keep your bloody hair on, Zayn! I was enjoying the early morning peace, if you hadn't noticed." He turns toward me, eyes rolling.
His eyes lock with mine. He's got high cheekbones, blue eyes like topaz that glint in the sun. His tanned skin is exposed also on his small torso, orange onesie tied by the sleeves around his small waist, keeping up the bottom half. He smiles, eyes crinkling and cheeks bunched up against his eyes.
"Hi," He greets, walking in.
I hold out my hand but he doesn't grab it, instead, he tiptoes slightly in order to wrap his arms around my neck.
It takes me by surprise and I freeze for a moment before hesitantly wrapping one arm around his waist, patting his back lightly.
"Hi," I echo.
"'M Louis. Nice to finally meet you! You're here quite late, aren't you? I got here two days ago." He releases my neck and I shove my hands into my back pockets of my tight black skinny jeans.
"I'm Harry. I was visiting my sister hence I wasn't here earlier," I explain and why am I explaining?
Zayn smiles. "Don't mind Lou, he's a loud motherfucker and has no filter."
Louis hits Zayn in the chest, making Zayn grunt. "You love me for it though." He kisses Zayn's cheek and my eyes narrow momentarily at the gesture.
"Is this all of us then?" I ask.
Anne-Marie nods. "Yup," She replies, popping the 'p'. "This is all of us. Harry here is studying literature."
Zayn gives a side smile. "I'm doing English language."
"Unfortunately for you, Z, you're not in any of my classes," Louis says with a pout. "I know you miss me so much. I take creative writing and film and theatre. It's one course with a bloody long name."
Zayn rolls his eyes. "Barely. I get enough of you in here."
Louis giggles, turning on his heel. "I'm gonna go get something to eat, anyone want anything?"
Marie shakes her head.
"Get us a croissant, Lou," Zayn orders.
Louis nods, looking behind his shoulder toward me. I just stand there, trying not to look as awkward as I feel. They've all got a connection with each other already, what if I ruin that for them for being shy little old me? I gotta try, at least, for my own sake more than theirs to try and make an effort.
I nod. "I'll have whatever, I'm not fussed, just hungry," I decide, giving him a slight smile.
Louis' smile widens and he gives me a bow of his head before leaving the room. "Zayn, where's your wallet?" He calls out.
"Get stuffed, Louis and use your own money for a change!" Zayn replies.
This is going to be interesting. I hope I'm able to fit in here, I'm already liking how relaxed and comfortable they are around each other, I just hope I get to feel the same way too.
A/N- I'M SO SORRY
OKAY BUT I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF, THIS IDEA WAS IN MY HEAD AND I JUST HAD TO GET IT OUT THERE!
I HOPE YOU LIKED THE FIRST CHAPTER!
I'm gonna go do some writing for dnd vol.2 I think... or maybe chapter 2, haven't decided yet.
Hope you enjoyed!
Vote and comment and I'll see you in the next chapter
STAY SAFE XOXOXOXXO