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"It's been months since I last saw you, (Y/N)."
My body fell limp into her fragile, bedridden form.
Her voice... it felt as though it were soothing water coating my tongue. The same feeling in which you'd feel after obtaining even a drop of liquid after being dried and dehydrated for days on end.
A wash of relief swept over my mind, a slight shake beginning to take over as I breathed her in whilst we held each other. It took everything in me to control the tears from flowing out of me.
She was here. She was safe.
She hasn't left me yet.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I must've said the two words aloud, for my sister pulled away from her ever-most gentle hug.
"What are you thanking me for?" she asked with genuine curiousness. I had to swallow due to the tiniest smile that appeared upon her lips as she gave her head a tilt, observing me with the same eyes I'd always adored.
I shook my head, turning around slightly. "It was nothing," I mumbled sheepishly, peeking back at her. "I've missed you so much." My voice was barely over a whisper.
Her kind eyes crinkled in a gentle smile—and it was only then that I came to notice how little effort she was able to put into everything now. Everything she did now... I didn't know how else to explain it.
"I miss you more," she responded, her voice caressing me with an imaginary hug. Even her touch... her touch had been so soft, so ghostly. As if she were already drifting away with each passing minute.
I sat on her bedside, careful not to disrupt her careful form. "You're sure you're feeling okay?" I asked, my tone altering itself into the tone I only ever used with her.
She chuckled ever so slightly. "Yes, yes. I feel fine—only a little tired."
I stood up before she could even finish speaking. "I'll leave you to get some rest—" I began, but my sister cut me off with a silent shake of her head.
"Don't be silly. You just came home after months of work, do you really expect me to sleep when I finally get the chance to see you again?" But even as she said her words with such simplicity and ease, the dark circles under her gorgeous eyes were more prominent than the last time.
I knew... I knew she hadn't been able to sleep since being sick. But still...
I hid my concern with a smile—the one in which she always said was my best feature. Sitting back down in the same spot as before, and she reached for my hand. I stared at our linked fingers, appreciating ever second of it.
"Tell me a story or two," she suggested, and my gaze flicked back to hers. I opened my mouth to respond, but hesitated instead, not knowing what to say. "I know you won't tell me much about your work, but our brother has mentioned some of your long and fascinating journeys," she said, her voice lilting with admiration a bit.
I bit back my guilt, knowing that light to her eyes would be gone in a flash if she knew what I really did. And the amount of people I have killed.
I shook my head, wiping away those thoughts and shaking my mind clear of any doubt. What mattered now was being here with her. I could worry later.
"Well, I suppose there are a few interesting encounters I could mention..." I said, and she smiled more brightly this time, moving over in her bed to make room for me to lie down beside her, to which I obliged.
And thus, me and my eldest sister Kumiko spent the rest of the night talking in that same bed together.
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I wasn't sure why that memory came back to me when it did. And sitting underneath one of the trees in the roofed forest in which I'd become so familiar with now, I couldn't entirely comprehend my brain and it's choice to remember it.
Maybe it had to do with the fact that the last few weeks with the demon of whom I'd now left... now that would probably be the best story of all. A soft smile came to my lips at the thought of us recreating our last visit together. And that maybe... maybe I could tell Kumiko this story one day.
I shook my head, cursing myself for becoming distracted.
My focus came back to the present, the place where I'd made a lousy attempt at a temporary camp site in the midst of these dark woods. It was well into midnight now, a few hours or so since I'd left the residence I'd been staying at.
My anger had pretty much subsided, but also I didn't allow myself anytime to even think about my last interaction with Akaza, so I wasn't sure how I still felt. I'd distracted myself with anything else as I made my way through the tall bushes; the sickening feeling in my stomach finally beginning to die down.
It doesn't matter, I thought. He will eventually just move on to his next target—he never needed me.
Perched against a thick, fallen log, I brought my knees to my chest as I watched my poorly lit fire dance about a few feet in front of me. My ears were perked at any noise that sounded nearby, and I did my best to keep my eyes open—to always, always be aware.
My eyes burned as I scanned the flames; though goosebumps covered the majority of my body, I made no move to get closer. I only kept my eyes and ears on high alert, my mind whirring with thoughts as I sat utterly still.
Akaza had warned me about leaving. He'd even expressed that I would die if I left the confinement of the house we'd been staying at together.
I closed my eyes for what felt like the first time in a long while, hiding my face in the crook of my elbow. My knees were still up against my chest, and my arms held onto them with whatever effort I had left in me.
In a way, I couldn't entirely grasp the fact that I'd been at that house for two straight weeks. My body and mind had felt like they were in two completely different places the entirety of the time I was training.
My mind had been under a trance, my body going beyond its limits as a result. For two weeks.
I lifted my head out of my arm, resting it on top of my knee instead, keeping my place by the fire.
I supposed Akaza was right. To a certain degree.
I had been ruining myself. And I think part of me... part of me knew that. The entire time, I felt as though I was secretly aware that the demon was right. But it was only becoming clear now that I'd left... as though once I stormed away from the home, my trance—the one that had utterly consumed me—had simply... snapped.
The chanting in my mind quieted, the soreness of my limp and damaged form finally having its real effect—proof of all that I'd been doing to it.
In only two weeks, I'd pushed myself past the brim.
He was right, damn him.
But it didn't matter. There was nothing I could do to erase what I'd done. The only thing to do now was focus on the future—on how I was to gain the strength I so desperately needed.
'Why?'
Akaza's question came back to me. The curiosity in his anger-filled tone was prevalent, even in my memory of it. He'd kept asking. Over and over—as if the thought we're eating him up the same way my trance had been.
And maybe, I supposed... that meant we both had snapped.
'Tell me why!'
I squinted, his powerful voice coating over my senses if only for a moment.
He'd never shown so much frustration towards me. Akaza always had the most patience I'd ever seen in anyone else. Maybe it had to do with the fact that he was an immortal demon who's mind worked differently from that of a human, but... when he'd asked me, half begging me for an answer, something had made me pause. It was the most human and genuine tone I'd ever come across from him. In the weeks I'd known him, he'd never shown such... vexation towards a subject.
And maybe that was why I'd decided to tell him. About the truth of why I was destroying myself.
Honestly, I hadn't even given myself much time to think about the demon who'd saved my life on multiple accounts. In truth, I had multiple questions for him. And yes, I did want to know what the second side of the deal was. But the real truth of the matter was that... all of that curiosity, about him, about demons, about what he wanted with me...
It had all been pushed away—to the very back of my mind, as if it were the complete last priority. And I supposed that it had been, in a way; at the time, I simply hadn't cared. It was all true, what I'd told him.
But the way he'd begged me to answer him, the sound of his half anger, half desperation wouldn't leave my mind.
And I found that pushed back priority surfacing to the front as I found myself wanting to ask him. I wanted to know why he had needed to hear my answer so badly. I wanted to know why he had froze in what I supposed was surprise at my raw and agonizing response.
I hadn't spoken the words aloud to anyone before, and maybe that was the reason I wanted to know now. Why, of all people I knew, did I chose to tell him?
There was so much I needed to know.
But I'd left. And not in a friendly matter. I'd stormed out of that house damn well set on never returning.
And even though those questions nagged at me, my pride would never allow me to turn back. That was one thing I knew with utter certainty.
A roaring of wind sounded, bringing me back to my present surroundings. The air was icy and dry, almost feeling as though it could snow at any time. Scrunching my brows together at the thought, I stretched my basically torn apart limbs and stood.
I turned towards my bag not to far from me, reaching inside to look for a blanket I hoped I'd packed in the midst of my tantrum earlier.
Goddammit.
My hands were already half frozen, making the action of looking through the random things I'd packed a lot more complicated than it should be.
All I found was a scarf—a simple white one that I now realized Akaza had most likely left for me along with the other set of clothes he would bring.
Where did he even get all those clothes? And the food—
I shook my head, dismissing my intrusive thoughts. You left, (Y/N). And now both of you are going to move on.
I let out a deep sigh, my breath fogging up in front of me as I stared down at the white fabric. Opening it up a little, I realized it was actually bigger than I expected.
This'll have to do.
I winced as I walked back over to my log, returning to sit in a similar position, yet this time with the cover of a freshly washed scarf as I fixed it over my sore form.
I paused at my own thoughts, analyzing the thick white cloth. Had... had Akaza actually washed this?
I frowned, forcing the thought to leave my mind. Enough was enough.
I had to focus on other things now. Like how the hell I was supposed to get out of this forest. My tracking skills were remarkable, but even this would be... tricky.
I began planning in my head, what it was I would do next, how I was going to meander my way through this mess...
Time flew by as I did so, and my eyes began to droop along with the dying fire I found myself always staring at. Too lazy to get more wood to keep warm tonight, I hugged the blanket-scarf tighter around me, while at the same time cursing myself for not thinking properly back at the house.
Eventually, my exhaustion kicked in full, and even though Akaza's warning flashed in my head once more, I couldn't help but drift off into unconsciousness.
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I awoke to the sound of nothing.
Absolute dead silence.
My eyes didn't open right away, instead opening up my other senses in hopes of discerning what was going on in the surrounding area.
Even my sleep-idled brain could tell, through my sharp instincts, that something wasn't right. Something was wrong.
It all came back to me in only a matter of seconds, my situation of leaving the house and instead being out in the crisp night.
There was no wind, yet the air seemed to be colder even without the effect of the force of it. There was no sound, almost as if I lost my hearing completely. Though I knew that wasn't the case—due to the fact that the only other thing I could detect with my ears and other senses was my breathing.
Which I then halted almost immediately, trying to discern anything else from it around.
Eyelids fluttering open at last, I was met with darkness—the roofed forest not allowing even a glimpse of moonlight to shine through. And on that thought, I finally came to the conclusion that it was still nighttime, meaning I'd only been asleep for a few hours at best.
As my sight adjusted, I noticed the fire in front of me that had been completely put out, only confirming my theory about how much time had really passed.
I looked around, still holding my breath as I scanned the area—the trees as well as beyond, deep into the bushes I could hardly make out of the shadows.
Everything looked normal.
But I'd learned, in what felt like now a completely different life time, that trusting my instincts was part of what made one a good assassin. As well as training to never be a deep sleeper.
However, the odd thing was—I hadn't awoken due to any sound at all. No, in fact, I'd woken due to the simple lack of it.
And I knew, something was wrong.
The hairs on my arms stood, and I didn't dare make a move, only allowing a single breath to be released from me.
Only then did the realization strike. Of why something felt... off.
I was being watched.
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Knowing I had to be right about my conclusions, I'd packed my things, acting as normal as I could whilst putting on my familiar clumsy act. The same one I'd used when I knew Akaza had been watching me.
I long ago dismissed the idea—and even a little bit of hope—that it was him who was keeping his eyes trained on me while I finished up packing my things. I knew it wasn't him, simply because this time... this time felt different.
Akaza's gaze had always been watching with curiosity and patience, I could tell that was the case even before I'd officially met him—when he was simply watching from a distance. While now... whoever was watching me had no such qualms about me.
There was a different sense to the air, a more angry force that seemed to shadow me. I wasn't about to panic, but even the pressure of this someone's bloodthirsty aura made me question my abilities.
The thought made me pause, even for a moment, as a scene from weeks ago flashed before my mind as I recognized the aura.
Of a towering monster, gripping my hair and dragging me as if I were a doll across the plane.
A pit in my stomach began to grow, and I made an effort not to show my swallow of what I now began to recognize was... fear.
It was fear that I was feeling, my hands beginning to sweat even against the icy cold, my movements becoming shakier—which luckily fit perfectly into my lost-and-clumsy-girl-act.
Yet something told me that whoever this was, was not smart enough to pick up on the way I was acting.
But I still stood, slinging over my bag and beginning to walk deeper into the forest—adjacent to where the sinister aura was coming from. My minds own set of alarms were going off, screaming at me to run.
And though I wished it wasn't true, Akaza's words struck me once more as I came to my next conclusion about who might be stalking me.
But before I could even finish my own thought, a thundering force struck from in front of me, and I froze, knowing it was the best option right now. Running would not be wise.
Dirt and dust flew around, and I already knew what I would be met with when it eventually faded. The ground still echoed with the force of them, and even though I knew, deep down, that a demon was in front of me, it still didn't prepare me for the eight foot being who stared down at me with a glowing set of burgundy eyes, raging with hunger and greed.
But before it could even finishing its disgusting grin at me, I swallowed my fear and made the move to attack first.