Christen walked at the sidelines, observing her team as they did a small scrimmage. The training was about to end in 30 minutes and she can't wait to go home and relax because her feet were kind of getting sore.
"COME ON LADIES!"
Her phone rang, making her look down at the device she was already holding, and scrunch her eyebrows when she noticed Meredith Grey was calling her from New York. She turned around and answered it, thinking it was just something about the dinner next week.
"Hello? Is everything okay?... SHE DID WHAT?!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Isabella and Paige were driving to LA since they were both going to be arriving there a week earlier for Rae's merch so they were going to spend some time with their friends and family before going back to school for a month.
They were about halfway through the road trip, jamming with the music when Isabella's phone rang. Paige lower the music while Isabella answered the phone, where her Mama was calling her.
"Hey Mom, wassup?"
"What time are you arriving home?"
Izzie looked at her girlfriend confused, making her girlfriend send her a concerned look before they checked the GPS.
"About 2 hours, why?"
"Your mom did something stupid and I need you to call Steph for me to fly over to New York since she's in Atlanta and that's closer. I would call her but I have to wrap practice up."
"What did she do? Is she okay?"
"She's high."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Arizona and Jo watched Meredith turn the corner with intrigue, before looking at each other when they noticed that everyone in the room became dead silent. They slowly walked over and took a peak from the small window. Some were looking around curiously, others seemed relaxed, but Michelle seemed confused.
They watched the singer grab another cookie, and put it closer to her face like she was analyzing it. Michelle slowly stuck her tongue out to start licking the cookie, but the door banged open, making all of them, including Arizona, jump up.
They looked at Meredith in horror as she looked at everyone else. Meredith's eyes landed on the twins, before looking at Mitch who already seemed out of it since she was the first out of everyone to eat from the tin, and by the looks of it, she's the one who ate the most.
"Due to unforeseen circumstances, we postponed the presentation that was supposed to happen today. Please raise your hands if you ate any cookies from that tin."
Meredith pointed to the purple tin on the table and she watched as they slowly followed the direction she pointed at. Michelle looked at Meredith through her lashes, before raising her hand, followed by everybody else in the room except for the twins, and Carina.
"Jo, please take Akie and Diana down to the nursery, she could play with Bailey and Ellis there."
Jo nodded her head and Michelle tilted her head, ready to stand up and fight for her kids since she thought Jo was kidnapping them so Carina stood up instead and took them to the nursery herself. With one stern look from Mer she huffed and sat down, her hands crossed and a pout on her lips were placed like she was a kid having tantrums.
"Anyways. for the rest of you, unfortunately, the cookies in this tin were tainted with rat poison."
Everyone in the room gasped, including Arizona which made, while April slowly put her hands down. Michelle had her jaw slacked, and her eyes as wide as saucers as she slowly dropped the cookie she was holding.
"So I need all of you to go to the lounge and wait for us there."
Still, with her jaw basically on the floor, Michelle slowly stood up and started wobbling with the rest of the Attendings to the lounge, away from the public's staring eyes.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
After ending practice early, Christen grabbed her keys and started walking to the parking lot. She stayed in her car for a while, reaching over to her purse to retrieve her phone so she could call Mer.
"How is everyone there?"
"The twins didn't eat any of the lesbian thank you cookies so they're at the nursery with my kids and safe."
Christen let out a breath of relief, before taking a deep breath.
"And Mitch?"
"She's super high, everyone is. It's started to kind of take effect, which means the first bite she took of those cookies was about maybe 2 hours ago. We don't know how many she had eaten ever since."
"Oh god, okay just call me if anything bad happens."
"You know I will Chris, be safe."
"You too."
Once the phone call ended, Christen closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she started the car and started the 30-minute drive from the stadium to their home.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Michelle, Lexie, Arizona, Jackson, Miranda, Amelia, Alex, Catherine, and Andrew were waiting in the lounge. Michelle sat on the couch beside Jackson, fiddling with the string of her jumpsuit as her mind went super fast, thinking of all of the possible things that could happen to them because of rat poison.
"Lexie, would you please sit down, you're making me panic."
Mitch looked up at the sound of Catherine's voice. She looked up at Lexie and gave her a questioning look. Lexie froze in front of Michelle and slowly started making her way to the couch. She looked down at it before slowly sitting down reluctantly, but then freezing halfway,
"Lexie is malfunctioning!"
Lexie looked at Mitch and started panicking.
"I forgot how to sit down, I don't know what to do next."
And because of the panicky state that her best friend was in, Michelle started panicking as well.
"Okay uh, try moving your legs upwards."
Lexie did what Michelle told her to do, only to cause her to stand up. The Neurosurgeon looked at the general surgeon in complete shock.
"Mitch, it did the opposite of sit. I'm standing up!"
Michelle started panicking more so she stood up and started looking through the drawers.
"There might be instructions on how to sit down right?"
Everyone watched the 2 surgeons in complete confusion. Lexie was crying because she was scared, while Michelle was determined to help her friend sit down. After browsing through the shelves and finding nothing, she faced Lexie with a newfound determination on her face.
"Okay, we're surgeons. We are smart, we will figure this out together okay Lexie?"
Walking over to hold her best friend's hand, she gave her an encouraging nod. Lexie straightened up, wiped her cheeks, and nodded her head.
"Okay just, talk me through it."
"Okay, you bend your knees like this, and throw your ass back like this,"
"But what if I don't have an ass?"
Getting fed up with what he is watching, Alex walked over and pushed the two women down on the couch. Michelle ended up sitting down, but Lexie, who still had her legs straight, ended up sliding with her whole body as stiff as a pole, her head awkwardly on the back pillows.
"Alex, I'm still not sitting down."
"Oh for god's sake."
Arizona, Jackson, and Catherine went over and helped Alex with Lexie since they could see the younger girl was about to panic again. They were too busy trying to help the Neurosurgeon that they didn't notice Michelle bring out her phone.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Christen was pulling into their driveway when she got an alert from her phone. She reached over, thinking it was Meredith or Mitch, but it was a message from the bank saying Michelle used her card to buy something. She hummed, thinking it was for food, but she saw the total amount.
"Oh my god, what the fuck?"
Total: $106,151,790
And it was all transferred to her wife's manager, Mark, so she knew she could trust this and this was Michelle's money and it honestly only barely made a dent on their savings account, but she didn't want her to spend more than she already has.
She sent Meredith a quick text and updated Isabelle on what her mother just did before she leaned on her seat and closed her eyes.
"I need to take a nap, this is too much right now."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Happy with all her purchases, Michelle jumped up when she felt someone sit beside her. She looked up and saw that Lexie was finally sitting down making her cheer.
"YOU DID THE IMPOSSIBLE LEXIE!"
"I KNOW I'M SO EXCITED!"
The door of the Attendings lounge opened and Meredith and Jo came in. Everyone's heads turned to them and watched their every move intently as they waited for more news on the rat poison.
"Okay, false alarm. The cookies had marijuana in them."
Even in the room felt like they were finally able to breathe but once that information sunk in on Michelle, she froze. Her eyes slowly widened and she felt herself start to panic again.
"I didn't want to scare you."
Jackson furrowed her eyebrows, looking at Michelle in concern, before facing Meredith again.
"So you went with rat poison?"
"You scared me to death."
Meredith and Jo both gave Arizona a weird look.
"You knew they had weed in them."
Everybody slowly turned to Arizona, while the blonde surgeon stepped back in realization before nodding her head.
"Right, yeah, I forgot."
Michelle stared at her for a while longer, her mind trying to process everything that happened.
"Okay, so listen, no one goes anywhere until you're sober. Ingesting marijuana has a much stronger effect, and it lasts much longer than when you smoke it."
And because Michelle was already in her word, she heard those sentences as 'Okay listen... go anywhere... you're sober... ingest more marijuana cause it has a much stronger effect, and smoke it.'
And it seemed as though Lexie heard the same thing because she was just staring at Michelle intently. Noticing the look, Michelle furrowed her eyebrows and nudged Lexie, pointing at Meredith and signaling her to listen.
So, Lexie sat up straight before leaning further into the back pillow so she could be as close to Michelle as possible without the older woman freaking out.
"True story, we get kids in the ER all the time. They like cookies, brownies, and candies."
Not hearing the next part, Lexie started salivating while Michelle looked more confused.
"Kids eat pot brownies and candies too?"
"I want brownies."
They looked at each other briefly, before facing forward again, having to have a much shorter attention span than usual.
"Everyone stays here. There is no medicine, no surgery, and no patient interaction..."
Amelia brought out her phone.
"Yeah uh yeah, I'm just going to send some orders."
Michelle gasped before pulling her phone out.
She had thought 'orders' meant ordering from a fast-food chain close by so she had a beaming smile on her face. She quickly opened the Postmates app she barely used on her phone, happy that it could finally serve its purpose, but the beaming smile immediately disappeared when Jo snatched her phone from her hand.
"Hey, I was sending some orders."
"You don't even handle a department here."
She looked at Alex's wife in confusion before facing Lexie, who was just watching the chaos around her.
"You need to hold a department to order chicken nuggets?"
Lex shrugged and put her feet up.
"Privileged people, amirite?"
Michelle hummed, nodded her head, and sunk into the couch. Michelle looked up, where Amelie was standing and watched as she tightly clutched to her phone.
"Please give it to me Amelia."
"You're so pretty, you look like a cartoon."
Jo gave her a weird look, before looking around, realizing that others still had their phones with them.
"Phones now."
Meredith looked at Jackson, who seem to be hiding the phone in his coat.
"Jackson."
Jackson and Michelle made eye contact before he went back to looking at Meredith. Jackson slowly started taking his phone out but instead of handing it to Meredith like he was supposed to, he started handing it to Michelle.
Michelle quickly took the phone and hid it behind her making Meredith sigh.
"Mitch, please give me the phone?"
She looked at Meredith with her big, hazel doe eyes before looking at Lexie and Jackson, silently asking them what to do. The head of general surgery watched as the three of them whispered to each other, before slowly facing her.
"In one condition, give us food."
Meredith put her hand out and nodded her head, making the three of them smile and Mitch handed her phone.
"But you're gonna have to stay here."
The three, obviously not listening surgeons nodded their heads and started talking amongst themselves.
Jo and Meredith were about to leave but Michelle stopped them.
"Do you have food? I'm hungry."
Meredith looked around the room, her eyes landing on the container of kisses chocolate, so she went over, grabbed a piece, handed it to Michelle, and left the rest on the table.
"Don't finish everything okay?"
Michelle, not understanding that everything meant the whole container, thought that she was talking about the one piece of Kisses she had on the palm of her hand.
She looked at the small piece of chocolate in confusion before unwrapping it, and then staring at it again, analyzing how she was going to make it last until Meredith and Jo comes back.
"This is the greatest puzzle of all time."
Jackson and Lexie watched Michelle analyze the piece of chocolate, deciding to help her as well.
"How long do you think they would be gone?"
Michelle hummed and placed her elbow on her knees, bringing the chocolate up to eye level as it would help her.
"Well, since they are slow at walking and seem to be taking care of all of your patients, I reckon 12."
Jackson and Lexie looked at each other confused, before facing Michelle, who was still staring at the piece of chocolate.
"12 what?"
"Mhmm... maybe 11 now, 10 or 9 or something."
Lexie leaned on the pillows, then leaned her head back to look at the ceiling.
"I am so confused."
Michelle, deciding to finally go for it, slowly put the tip of the chocolate to her teeth and slowly nibble on it (like the video of the dog eating the star nuggets) before deciding she had enough and just put everything in her mouth.
Jackson and Lexie looked at Michelle shocked, before facing forward.
"That's one way to do that too I guess."
Michelle stood up, making the two other people who were in the room (which were only Jackson and Lexie) look at her.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm hungry."
"Meredith told us that we should stay in."
"No, she said to go anywhere, you're sober and ingest more marijuana. I'm just following the boss' orders."
Just as Michelle was about to open the door, Arizona walked in and looked at the three wide-eyed.
"Were you guys planning on going somewhere?"
Michelle, who just looked like a deer caught in headlights, looked behind her. Jackson and Lexie were both frozen in their spot. Michelle slowly turned back and shook her head.
"Nope, not at all."
Arizona walked further into the room, making Michelle slowly sneak out of the room. Once she was out, she looked through the window, only to see Lexie still frozen in place.
"Pssst. Lex."
Lexie slowly faced Mitch, only to see her telling her to come closer. She looked at Arizona, who was busy talking to Jackson, so she took that as a chance to leave with Michelle. Lexie took a deep breath and took it one step at a time until she was able to make it out the door.
Michelle silently cheered, before the both of them speed-walked through the halls.
.
Once Arizona realized that the two were missing, she started panicking and left Jackson in the room by himself. She walked over to the nurses' station, where she bumped into Carina.
"Hey, hi, have you seen Mitch and Lexie?"
Carine furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head.
"No."
She turned her head and noticed Andrew, her younger brother, feeling the wall full of fake plants.
"A patient brought in accidental weed cookies, and he ate a lot of them. And Lexie and Mitch ate one too... a lot of them."
Carina's eyes widened.
"So that's what those cookies were, oh my god you gave Michelle weed cookies? And she's with Lexie? This is a recipe for disaster."
They both walked through the halls, trying to look for Michelle and Lexie, leaving Andrew to do whatever he was doing.
.
Lexie and Michelle were both looking for more food since they were in the need of some munchies when they came across a room where there was a bunch of food. They grinned at each other before grabbing a plate and making themselves one.
Once their plate was all full, they went into the Chief Resident's office. They both didn't know who the Chief Resident right now was, but they frankly didn't care cause they own the hospital. They both sat on the couch and started eating.
"You know what I want right now though?"
Lexie looked up from her food and gave her best friend a questioning look.
"I want some nerd ropes."
Michelle pointed at something at the corner, and they saw a bunch of nerd ropes, so they happily bounced over there and got two each. They plopped one in their mouth before they heard something outside so they quickly walked out of the room and started walking back to the lounge.
Once they passed th conference room, they saw a bunch of cookies on the table.
"Those cookies look so good."
"Aren't those the cookies we ate a while ago?"
They both suddenly went silent, before scrambling to get one piece each. They started walking back down the hall, scavenging for more food, when they heard their names being called.
.
Carina and Arizona have looked everywhere, but they cannot seem to find the two. They heard a bunch of women giggling, making them freeze and look at the hallway. They waited a little while, and that is when Michelle and Lexie popped up, holding a piece of cookie in one hand, and a nerd rope on the other.
"Grey, Press."
Both of their heads snapped up at the same time, the smiles on their faces slowly disappeared as they both stiffened up and slowed down, but didn't stop walking,
"Hey, stop, both of you."
Instead of listening, they both made it faster, making the two sigh and run after them.
.
Lexie and Michelle looked at each other wide-eyed, munching on the candy and the cookie faster, as they tried to get away from Carina and Arizona.
"You both are supposed to be at the lounge."
"We ate marijuana."
Arizona nodded her head as she caught up with Lexie, while Carina went running after Michelle who was a few steps ahead.
"Ehi, smettila amore mio. Why are you walking away from me?" (Hey, stop my love.)
"I had never had marijuana before and I'm freaking out and I'm super hungry but Jo got my phone and won't let me order anything because I am not holding a department. I just wanted nuggets."
Carina gave the younger girl a sad smile and was about to say something until she noticed the packaging on the nerds they were both eating.
Medicated Nerds Rope
Her eyes widened when she read it and started panicking when she saw that it was the last bite.
"Tesoro, dove l'hai preso?" (Honey, where did you get this?)
Michelle furrowed her eyebrows in confusion before shrugging her shoulders. Carina sighed and shook her head.
"Quanti ne hai mangiati?" (How many did you eat?)
"This is my second. Why? You want some?"
"Honey, these are edibles."
Michelle froze before slowly facing Carina.
"I don't... I don't think I need my neck anymore."
-
The four of them ended up staying in one of the skills labs. The four of them were sitting down on the chairs, Carina braiding Michelle's long dark hair, while the rest were just staring at the board.
Lexie looked at the three of them confused.
"What do we do now?"
"Oh, we just have to wait for it to pass."
The Carina butt-in. "And since you two ate more, we might have to wait a bit longer."
Lexie hummed and nodded her head while Michelle kept staring at the board. Arizona looked at the three of them before stuttering out a response.
"But we can hang out and talk, you know? Just say whatever comes into our heads. Just press play and see what comes out."
Lexie nodded her head before she decided to start.
"I want some cheese."
Michelle scrunched up her nose and started shaking her head, making Carina scold her because she was not done braiding it yet.
"I miss Callie."
"It sucks a good food, there are so many kinds."
"I wished she stayed here in New York instead of flying to Los Angeles."
Michelle looked at Carina since she knows the two dated, but the OB/GYN just seemed like she was enjoying it.
"Cheddar."
"String cheese."
"Brie."
"The kind with the hole in it."
Once Carina was done with braiding Michelle's hair, she watched the ex-pro-athlete stand-up and walk to the virtual dissection table and staring at it in fascination.
"I missed this so much."
"I GOT IT! SWISS!"
While Arizona kept rambling (the only one listening since the beginning was Carina anyway) Lexie saw Michelle by the dissection table and decided to join her.
"Sometimes I just stand in the cheese section of the grocery store and just..."
Michelle watched Lexie inhale deeply and look like she was in a daydream.
"Mozzarella."
"Gouda."
"Munster."
"Dill Hararti."
"How the fuck do you know all these kinds of cheeses?"
Lexie shrugged and looked at Michelle.
"How about you?"
"Cheese makes me shit."
They both went quiet for a while before Michelle accidentally pressed something on the virtual dissection table making the both of them jump up in surprise.
"Woah."
They both started messing around.
"It goes away... and then it comes back. Aaaannndd it goes away... then it comes back. It goes away. This is cool."
"If only it was this easy in real life, everybody would be a surgeon."
Lexie hummed and nodded her head. They both kept playing with it until Lexie turned to Michelle.
"What if we work on doing this type of technology once we have the hospital built in LA? We would be unstoppable."
"LeXiE gReY yOu ArE a GeNiOuS! LET'S DO IT!"
Carina stayed sitting as she watched 3 stoned women in their worlds. She smiled at Michelle as she and Lexie kept playing with it until Lexie gasped and Michelle started panicking.
"Hey, where's the liver?"
"I don't know, I lost the liver."
Michelle leaned in closer, trying to get a closer look at the guy but they still can't find the liver. Michelle looked at Arizona.
"Arizona, have you seen it? It's liver-shaped."
Instead of answering, she was still on her own.
"Maybe Eliza Minnick took a plane too? I have no idea because she ghosted me."
Lexie shook her head and went to the other side of the table.
"Okay, it's red. It helped metabolize things it eliminated toxins, and now it's gone!"
"Eventually everyone leave me, you know?"
Lexie pressed another thing on the board, making a sound effect that did not sound good, making Michelle panic more. And when Michelle panics, Lexie does as well (since Lexie is the panic-er between the two).
"I lost the liver!"
"oh my god, Lexie."
"What if she dies?"
"oh my god, lexiE!"
"Because I lost the liver!"
"oh my gOD LEXIE!"
"OH MY GOD!"
"LEXIEEE OH MY GOD!"
Carina looked between the three of them, suddenly feeling drained.
This was going to be a long day
.
Carina put a white cloth over the monitor while the three of them are standing there, looking up at the ceiling, grieving. Michelle brought her hand up to eye level and sighed.
"Time of death, 16:06... Acute liver disappearance."
Lexie sighed and shook her head.
"We did everything we could but we could not save her."
Carina furred her eyebrows when she saw Arizona raise her right hand and put it on her chest like she would when the national anthem was on.
"Our thoughts and prayers are with her, her family, and her friends."
They stood there for a while, and that's when they noticed that Michelle was about to pass out, so Carina quickly carried her, making Lexie panic.
"Hey careful with her head, don't hit it anywhere. Her brain might disappear just like the liver of this girl."
.
The next day, Michelle woke up in her room at the condo she and Isabella used to stay at. She was feeling a bit better than yesterday but she was still a little high. A bunch of squeals was heard outside the door making her sigh and stand up, only to be pulled down by weight beside her.
She looked right, only to see Lexie sprawled out on the bed. She groaned softly and leaned to her ear, before letting out an ear-piercing scream, making Lexie jump up and fall off the bed.
Michelle started giggling, but the door opened, only to be met by Maya and Carina holding the twins, looking panicked.
"What happened? Is everything okay?"
"Michelle happened, she's an asshole."
"Asshole."
All of their eyes widened when they heard Diana and Aquila giggling. Michelle looked at Lexie, before throwing a pillow at her best friend.
"You explain that to Christen later, not me dumbass."
Michelle and Lexie walking past Arizona and Carina while high.