"So Brett, when's your next period? OW!!!!"
Eddy pouted as he placed his hand on his upper arm where Brett had slapped him.
"Brett, I can't believe you hit me!!"
"OMFG Eddy!!! I told you NOT to use the P word...!"
Eddy shook his head in disbelief.
"Oh for goodness sakes Brett!! Okay, okay, please put that book down, no I swear, don't throw it, please !! I'm sorry!! Brett, I have a sister, the P word, it's no big deal, it's just a word..."
Brett screamed.
"I don't like it!!!"
"OMFG what are you? In Kindy? That's like playground assertiveness 101. Stop it, I don't like it!"
"EDDY!!"
"Okay.. I'm sorry. I really am. Please put that book down. I didn't mean to upset you, honest."
The young couple were still in the early stages of their relationship. They shared similar values, had a lot of things in common and things were coming along quite nicely. The trickiest part of their relationship was how they handled Brett's time of the month when his extra-sensory perception was enhanced. Eddy tried to talk about it and asked a lot of questions in order to deepen his understanding, as he felt he wouldn't be a good partner without appreciating what was going on with Brett over the course of his 28 day cycles.
Brett was usually okay with this, so long as he wasn't... rather, so long as it was when he wasn't in midst of that time of the month. Brett was usually at his worst just a few days prior and sometimes in the midst of it as well, when he would either become moody, irritable or simply terribly embarrassed about the whole thing and shy away from any discussions.
"So.. you're not gonna tell me when the next one is Brett....?"
Eddy sighed and walked towards the calendar that was hung up on the living room wall. He took it off the wall and flipped back a page to look at the previous month and studied the scribbles written on it. Brett looked towards Eddy and his eyes widened. He quickly stood up from the sofa and walked towards Eddy.
"Eddy... please, please you better not have done what I think you may have done... OH MY GOD!!!"
"What..??"
"YOU'RE KEEPING A RECORD OF MY CYCLES ON THE CALENDAR!?"
"It's important information...!!"
"YOU'RE KEEPING A RECORD OF MY CYCLES ON THE CALENDAR!?"
"You just said that!!"
"PLEASE DON'T KEEP A RECORD OF MY CYCLES ON THE CALENDAR IN OUR LIVING ROOM WHERE ANYONE COULD SEE IT!!!"
"No one would know what it is.. it's just entered as B(start) and B(finish)"
"EDDY!!!"
Eddy sighed. He fixed up the calendar page and hung it back onto the wall.
"Look Brett.. I'm really sorry. I just wanted to keep an eye on this because it obviously affects you a lot and if I can help you with anything I really want to, so it helps if I can plan my schedule around it.
Brett ran his hand through his hair.
"Oooooh it's soooooo bad this time around.. I dunno what's happening.. maybe the planets are in alignment or something.. I'm really sorry Eddy, I'm just so easily triggered...!!!"
"..So do you feel any better?"
"A bit."
Eddy had brought out an emergency package he had secretly put together at the end of last month. It consisted of a hot water bottle, fluffy warm socks, a throw blanket and chocolate. Brett initially scoffed upon seeing the hot water bottle;
"Oh for goodness sakes, how many times do I have to tell you that I am not menstruating and I don't get cramps, Eddy."
"...Wow Brett I'm surprised you actually used the M word. I would have thought that would've been more challenging than the P word."
Brett shrugged.
"I've come to a point where I don't care anymore. You might as well get me some frickin' tampons as well."
"OFFS Brett!! Look, I'm happy that you are crampless. But this thing could still bring you comfort if you're feeling a bit on the edge on a cool evening. We'll just pop it under the throw blanket while we chill."
Within ten minutes the couple was wrapped up in a blanket together on the sofa with a hot water bottle.
"Y'know what Brett, I remember the first time you told me about all this stuff"
"You do?"
"Yeah it was shortly after we moved in together."
"Well, I suppose I thought you should know if we'd be spending so much time together.. you were bound to find out I'd be behaving differently at certain times of the month..."
"Eddy, I need to tell you something."
"Okay...?"
"No judgement?"
"Of course Brett, no judgement."
"I get visitors every month."
"Huh?"
"I get visitors every month."
"..So that's not just one, but plural? Your relatives?"
"No, no, no..something happens to my body every month.. and that attracts a lot of visitors."
Eddy furrowed his brows.
"...That doesn't sound right."
"I'm really at their mercy, they can basically crawl all over me and there is nothing I can do about it."
Eddy's eyes shot open in surprise.
"What !? That's so messed up!! Who's doing this to you??!"
"It's okay Eddy.. I'm used to it.. It's been happening for years now."
"WTF"
"It's just that I get very sensitive."
"..What?"
"And that seems to attract a lot of attention. They seem to really notice me when I'm in that state."
"OMG"
"I'm usually okay with it, I've resorted to the fact that I really have no control over this when it happens."
"Brett I'm getting scared."
Brett's dodgy explanation and Eddy's vivid imagination caused a lot of misunderstanding at the beginning when Brett first told Eddy about his extrasensory perception. Naturally, Eddy complained that Brett should have shared the keywords extrasensory perception first, before diving into snippets of information about what happens to him physically which Eddy pieced together in an attempt to get the whole picture and ended up becoming more and more anxious about what his poor partner was going through.
"FFS Brett I thought you were being threatened or blackmailed by someone to do some weird sh*t every month or something...!!"
"What?? How could you possibly think that?"
"How could I not think that !?!??"