Keigo was released from the hospital a few days after waking up, and as promised Sakura was there to take him back to his and Mariko's apartment. The taxi ride home had been completely silent- the brunette refused to speak to him for the time being. Sakura's silent treatment, however, didn't bother him much. He'd always hated being ignored, and even in his static-filled mind, he knew his despondence was a red flag. If his body didn't already feel so heavy he might've thought about it more, but the way his wings were dragging behind him pathetically convinced him to spare himself the headache. Instead, he quietly followed Sakura into his apartment building after she paid the cab fare.
"If I was the one ignoring you... would you be as calm and collected as you are now?" a soft voice asked beside him.
Keigo didn't even need to look next to him to know who it was. He turned around anyways, some sad and sick part of him desperate enough for her presence that he conjured up warped versions of her to haunt him. Her features had changed slightly from when he'd seen her in the hospital. Her hair was darker than what it should've been, her blue eyes held flecks of gray that they hadn't before, and her jaw wasn't as pointed as it should've been. He wasn't sure though, and even as he concentrated on trying to change the appearance of the hallucination in front of him, the vaguely familiar woman beside him remained the same. The only thing he succeeded in doing was giving himself the headache he'd tried to avoid earlier, and sending another wave of guilt crashing over his already aching heart as he failed to remember the appearance of the love of his life.
Sakura opened the door and watched Hawks as he lingered in the entrance of the apartment to take off his shoes and lay them on the shoe rack by the door. Although "no shoes in the house" was a rule most households in Japan upheld, Keigo never enforced it in his own home. He hadn't, at least, until Mariko established it in their apartment shortly after he moved in with her. Remembering that she had been the one to instill this seemingly insignificant habit in him had another piece of his already broken heart chipping away and falling into nothingness.
The brunette was surprised when Hawks collapsed on the floor exhausted as though he'd just run a marathon. He refused to go any further and leaned against the front door as he took a shaky breath and stared at the living room blankly. For a moment, Sakura wondered whether he was still sick and if she needed to call EMS again. When she saw his vacant gaze however, she knew that Hawks's condition wasn't something any hospital could fix.
Slowly, she sat down on the floor next to him. "Do you miss her?" she asked.
The level of heartbreak evident in his voice was something she wasn't prepared for as he answered: "Every day."
"Me too," she sighed, following his gaze towards the window. "That's a good thing though, it means she was loved, and still is."
Although he didn't answer her, he agreed. As painful as it was to love someone who was gone, Keigo couldn't bear the thought of doing anything else. The idea of not loving Mariko hurt as much as her being dead. It was a fact that hawks mated for life, but the blonde refused to believe that the intensity of his love for Mariko was simply a side effect from the nature of his quirk. Despite its disastrous end, their relationship had been so beautiful that he couldn't accept it being anything but true love. He loved Mariko and he always would, and that knowledge was the only thing that brought him solace.
"I haven't even been able to delete her contact from my phone," Sakura admitted quietly. Sliding her phone out of her pocket, she quickly unlocked it and showed him the contact labeled Mariko Saito in her text history.
"I can't remember it anymore," he breathed, his voice was so quiet Sakura briefly wondered whether he said anything at all.
"When I try to picture her, it's not right...I hate it."
The man's words brought tears to her eyes, and she nodded in understanding. While she could still remember her best friend's appearance, it was because she'd made her phone's wallpaper a picture of her and Mariko from a New Year's party the previous year. She saw it every day multiple times a day which helped her keep that memory alive, the memory of her voice however was another matter. "I get what you mean," she started quietly. "I can't for the life of me remember what her voice sounded like. I tried to see if I had any videos or voicemails from her so I could hear it again, but no... the saddest part I think is that I don't even know when I started to forget. It's scary... it's like she's disappearing all over again."
Keigo's hands balled into fists as Sakura once again hit the nail on the head with her words.
"Do you have any?" she asked suddenly.
The blonde turned to her, his eyes although still filled with pain were more alert than they had been the past few weeks. The conversation had succeeded in at least bringing him back to the present instead of being lost in his thoughts. "I don't know what you're tal-"
"Videos of Mari. Or voicemails... I'm sorry if it's hard but I need to remember what my best friend sounded like," she said.
Keigo looked around the room for a moment and spotted his laptop on the coffee table. He had no idea where his phone was at the moment, and with the current state of his mind, he had no idea where he would even begin looking for it. All of his photos were imported to his laptop though, so it didn't really matter in this case. His heart rate spiked as the realization that he could see Mariko again dawned on him. He could see her. He could see the exact color of her eyes and hair, the slope of her jaw and nose, and what she sounded like. He quickly stumbled to the coffee table and unlocked his laptop with shaky fingers. Opening his photo albums, he went into the most recent one.
He didn't know when Sakura sat down beside him, nor did he really care. His attention was completely absorbed by the woman on his screen. Bright cerulean eyes sparkled as they looked into the camera- almost as bright as the smile she was giving. Chocolate hair cascaded down her shoulders in soft waves and softened the appearance of her smooth features. Her cheeks glowed with warmth and were decorated by a set of absolutely perfect dimples. Tears gathered in his eyes, blurring his vision and the image on his computer. "She's gorgeous," he thought. "How could I have forgotten you?"
Forgetting Sakura's presence completely, the blonde became completely absorbed in the photos. He clicked through every single one of them and stared at it for what seemed like an eternity as he tried to burn the image of his lover in his mind once more.
Sakura didn't mind that he'd gotten distracted. This was the most emotion he'd displayed since Mariko's death. Even if it was just now, he was present with her and allowing his heart to heal. That was more than anything Sakura could've hoped for at the moment.
Eventually, Keigo stumbled into a video, and his breath caught in his throat as he stared at the giant play button on the center of his screen. Swallowing thickly, he moved his mouse over the button and clicked it.
His own face filled the screen as he sat on the bed. His expression a mixture of pride and mischief as his eyes focused on something beyond the camera.
"Are you serious!?" Mariko's voice shrieked.
"Aw come'on Chickee it's not that bad!" He reasoned. When his grin only widened, Keigo knew his past self was full of shit.
"It's not that bad?! You're so full of shit! Look at this!" Mariko exclaimed.
Standing up, the Keigo in the video walked into the ensuite bathroom and discretely flipped the camera so that it was filming the mirror. Mariko stood at the sink in a tank top and a pair of especially short pajama shorts as she glared at him angrily. On the side of her neck was an extremely noticeable hickey. The bruise was large and dark purple, prominently standing out against her pale skill. He couldn't hide the proud smirk that made its way onto his face the longer he stared at it.
"I think it looks good," he justified.
The brunette rolled her eyes. She reached into her makeup bag and pulled out a stick of concealer as though the item would actually be able to cover up the angry bruise. She applied a liberal amount to the side of her neck and tried to blend it into her skin. After a few minutes of being unsuccessful in hiding the mark with makeup, she wiped it off and groaned in frustration causing the male to chuckle.
"Stop laughing. Now I'll have to wear a turtleneck to work. It's the middle of July."
"Sorry, you're right. Totally my bad...Forgive me?" he asked wrapping his free arm around her waist and propping his chin on her shoulder. He placed a soft and lingering kiss on her cheek which caused Mariko to relax slightly. The tension in her shoulders seemed to melt away at his touch and she rolled her eyes half-heartedly as her hand made its way to his jaw and she pulled him in for another kiss. The camera dipped slightly as the Keigo in the video momentarily forgot he was holding it. "I love you," he hummed.
"I love you too... even when you're a pain in the ass."
The video stopped after that, cutting off his own amused laughter at the second part of the statement he hadn't heard. No sooner than the words I love you fell from her lips, it seemed as though the world stopped turning long enough for him to take a breath. Seeing her and hearing her voice- even if it was just a video- had been so relieving. It silenced the dark and sad thoughts that had been plaguing his mind since she'd passed. Nothing would ever replace or make up for her being gone- that was a missing piece of his heart that he would never get back. Seeing the way that she looked at him though, and hearing her tell him she loved him reminded him that he had a piece of her with him. Her love was something that no one could take away from him and he found solace and comfort in it.