Summary: Patton and Janus are planning to adopt (again). They try to explain how adoption works to their 6 year olds but it doesn't go to plan - so they agree kidnapping is the best way to describe it.
Words: 1776
It was a normal Friday in June, the Viper family were eating some homemade food and undoubtedly making a mess. But Patton and Janus loved it, they loved the family they had with each other, life was amazing. Life was so amazing they were thinking of adding to it - and not another dog like normal. They wanted to adopt a child again.
"Ma! Remus is throwing pasta!" Roman shouted across the table, pointing at his twin who was throwing macaroni into the air and catching it with his mouth. "And he can throw it higher than me! It's not fair!"
"We can play basketball later to see who can throw the furthest kiddos." Janus responded, looking at his sons fondly and then his husband. The boys immediately gleamed and ate quickly and normally, ready for a basketball match that would last until sunset. Their boys were super hyperactive and had been since they were babies - their parents adored them.
Patton's glowing eyes made Janus chuckle, erupting in red. The twins immediately spotted the increased romantic chemistry between their two parents and silenced - sipping their juice and giggling to themselves. The couple just read each other's eyes... They told each other they needed to tell the boys about the possible new family member. "Hey boys..." Patton chirped, noticing the hand on his leg from his partner. "Ma and I have been thinking about getting you a little brother or sister..."
Roman tilted his head. "My friend at school said babies are made by parents sleeping together - don't you sleep together already?"
"Mhm!" Remus agreed, his mouth full of cheese but he spoke anyway. "And we have to wait 9 months - we'll be 7 then!"
The parents paused for a moment, decoding how to approach these questions. Not all families were made the way they knew - including Roman and Remus themselves - and while they knew that to some extent they didn't know all the details.
"Well... Some families are different - we might take a little longer to get you a sibling." Janus mumbled, eventually grabbing all the empty plates and going towards the sink. The boys tilted their heads again, asking for more information as they always wanted. They were such cute and curious kiddos. "We're going to... supply love for a kid who needs it. A kid already made by two people sleeping together and for whatever reason they can't have the kid grow up with them. Not their fault. But we're just going to let them grow up here."
There was a silence and the parents thought their sons understood. But they sat still and looked at each other instead of running towards the basketball hoop. Patton just watched them while sitting at the dining room table as Janus focused on the dishwasher.
"We're kidnapping?"
Janus tried to silence his laughter but was luckily hidden by the wall between the living room and the kitchen. It was Patton who was faced with explaining the difference between kidnapping and adoption to first graders - and he wasn't the best with describing things as he recently called a frying pan 'Flynn Ryder Hitters'.
"We're... consensually kidnapping." Patton began slowly, thinking through every word which wasn't something he did often. "Which means we're allowed to. There's a lot of steps we need to go through first."
Of course the boys didn't really care whether the kidnapping was legal or not, they just ran towards the garden with the basketball shouting for their Ma and telling each other how excited they were for their first kidnapping. Janus soon emerged with bubbly hands and watched them throw the ball at each other and do cartwheels - staying inside for a moment. Patton soon walked over to him and held his husband's hand, and Janus gave him a peck of a kiss. "Don't get anyone hurt lovely." Patton whispered after the kiss, giggling. Janus rolled his eyes and just looked fondly until he heard a scream.
"Might be a bit late for that, I'll check." He replied quietly, giving another kiss and then disappearing into the garden telling the boys to avoid the bushes before a hole gets punched in their fifth ball of that week.
*****
Janus and Patton were sat at the dining room table late in the evening, letting the twins play for a little before bed. They had paperwork in front of them to fill through - home check was next month, first interview was next week - they just needed to fill all the paperwork first.
"Do the twins need to fill in their own sheets or shall we?" Patton chirped, grabbing his husband's hand and leaning on his shoulder. Janus shrugged and examined the two sheets given to them to fill in information about their child's future siblings. It wanted all sorts of information like what school they want to and what grade, references from their teacher, their favourite hobbies and games.
"I don't trust anyone to read Remus' handwriting." Janus giggled, but soon heard the crashing of his boys that meant they were coming. The kids ran out with several Halloween costumes in their hands that they were trying to decide between. They looked at their parents with happy eyes and sat opposite them, looking through the pile of already filled paper.
"I heard my name - what you doing?" Remus leant over the table looking at the sheet with his name on. Roman also grabbed the piece of paper with his name on and straightened the crown he had found somewhere. "Can we help?"
"Of course bud - what do you want your new kidnap-ee to know?" Janus smiled and let both twins sit on his lap. It was an adorable moment, it always was when Janus was with their kids. He was an amazing Ma - and a great and loving husband as he was helping the first graders fill in all the forms they needed to fill.
*****
Roman and Remus were running around the store ahead of their father chasing each other and looking at all the things on the shelves. It was Patton who was tasked with entertaining the boys straight after school - and it was reaching December so the kids were super excited about Christmas. He only planned to get a few groceries, maybe some new non-muddy clothes for the twins, a new jacket for his husband or cardigan for himself - but he had somehow wondered to the baby section.
There was high chairs and strollers and bassinets of all different colours. He hadn't worried about buying those things for the last six years. But now was different - and he was so excited. The twins were chatting together by the stuffed animals, pointing at all of them, and Patton believed they were deciding a toy for themselves and approached them.
"Can we get a green teddy for our kidnap-ee Papa?" Remus looked up at Patton as he walked over, pointing to a rough looking green teddy with a black eyepatch on its eye and a black bow. Patton took it and examined it for a second before Roman appeared with another teddy.
"No! Get this one!" Roman shouted and held up a more traditional teddy with fluffy golden fur and a red bow. Patton also took it and looked for the price of both. They were both decently priced, but Roman and Remus were snapping at each other about which one their new victim would want. "Mine's fluffy and cute!"
"But mine's unique and cool!" Remus shouted back, grabbing his teddy and shoving it in his brother's face. Roman did the same with both shouting louder and it was absolute chaos.
But the cheery parent managed to drag the twins away from each other and stay calm and speak slowly. "How about we get both! Then your sibling can have more teddies from you?" The boys nodded quickly at that, and then ran ahead together like best friends like they usually did. Patton placed both teddies back in the shopping cart and continued to shop, rounding the kids every so often.
And he couldn't wait to add another member to this chaos.
*****
Today was the day. Patton had just returned from work and was running around making sure everything was safe and ready for his new family member. His family's new family member. He was ready for this - Janus was picking up the boys from school and then bringing home the new kidnap-ee.
The door knocked as Patton was placing the yellow and blue vase away from any young child's grasp. He was about to run to the door but it slammed open before he could even move - the two 7 year olds Patton loved were bounding towards him with wide smiles. "Hey kiddos! You look happy!" Patton giggled and picked them up, expecting to see drawings or classwork but the boys had nothing. "What are you so happy about?"
"We kidnapped someone!" Roman shouted just as Janus emerged from the door and closed it, a small smile on his face and a toddler around two years old in his hands holding two teddy bears. It was Thomas - the new family member they had been thinking about. He was finally here and this was the day Patton (and presumably Janus and the twins too) were dreaming about.
"You can't kidnap your sibling boys." Janus said, quieter than normal as he squished the toddler's cheek. Thomas only held his teddies to his mouth and looked around which made Patton fall in love even more. "You want to be in Papa's hands now?"
Thomas nodded and reached out to Patton, dropping the red teddy but he was saved from a possible temper tantrum by Roman's quick movements. His wide brown eyes were glowing as he looked around his new environment and all the toys his Papa and brothers had collected. He pointed at the Steven Universe toy which seemed to summon his twin brothers towards it - picking up the toy and all the things nearby to show him everything at a closer angle. He seemed interested but still a little shy, it only took at evening for him to warm up and begin chasing his brothers dressed as superheroes.
Janus and Patton sat together on the sofa with the kids running about, climbing on things and starting sword fights out of baguettes. Janus had an arm around Patton's shoulder as he shouted to each of the kids to be table over their giggles. "Oh this is going to be even more chaos." He laughed, kissing his husband's temple. Patton smiled back and chirped.
"I think the kidnapping is successful, I wouldn't mind doing it again."