❝A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.❞
Arthur Brisbane
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Shawn Hunter was a lost soul. He didn't think much of himself, in fact, his sense of self was so warped that he thought he was empty inside. Missing, incomplete. Even when life seemed perfect, he was always looking for the telltale sign that his luck was up, that his dream turned into a nightmare. Because he genuinely believed that life wasn't meant to work out for him.
That was why it was so easy for The Center to pull him in. All his life he'd been surrounded by what he saw as two groups of people. The first, better versions of himself –Cory and River– that he would never come close to and the second, people he would never be good enough for –Elena. Then he finally met a third group of people, people who he thought he was exactly like.
And that seemed like a godsend. So, he didn't understand why everyone was so against it. Why they wanted him to stay away from the only group of people that didn't make him feel alone.
Cory and Jonathan had made it clear that they didn't like The Center. He was hoping with everything in him that Elena wouldn't be the same as he climbed through her bedroom window.
Elena looked up from the art magazine she'd been flipping through and smiled when she saw her boyfriend. "Y'know, you could come in through the front door for once."
"Why use the front door when I can use the Shawn door," He countered with a bright smile as he pulled her in for a tight hug.
Elena frowned at the sudden, jerky movement of it all. It wasn't like his usual hugs, this seemed more formal like he was using it to replace a handshake. She didn't know how to explain it, she just knew that something was off.
"Are you centered, Elena?" He asked her nonchalantly as if he'd been asking her that all his life.
Yup, something was definitely wrong. She'd been hoping that Cory had just been exaggerating when he told her about Shawn's latest identity crisis. Unfortunately, he hadn't.
"That's... new," She commented, wanting to gauge his reaction before she started asking questions.
"Yeah, I learned it from The Center," He explained proudly, "I really like The Center, Lena."
"Uh-huh," She nodded, racking her brain for the best way to approach this.
She'd always been blunt. Never shying away from pointing out facts from stupid, especially when it came to her best friends. But recently she'd noticed that Shawn wasn't as strong as he made himself out to be. He was fragile in that he didn't have much he believed in so he clung to what he did believe like it was his lifeline. Elena knew he wouldn't accept any criticism against The Center, not even from her. He'd get defensive and see her as being against him.
Shawn always did see things so black and white. People were either with him or against him. And he didn't like it when the handful of people in his life were 'against him' because he was so scared to lose what little he had.
"Um, listen, Shawn, just what exactly is this 'Centre'?" Elena asked hesitantly.
Shawn took a step back, already getting defensive. "It's not a cult," He snapped immediately.
She raised a brow skeptically. "Okay, see, now because you said that I'm thinking it is a cult."
Shawn gave her a pointed look. "Don't judge us, Elena."
"'Us'," She repeated incredulously, "Shawn, you were only there for, what, an hour?"
"The length of a journey has nothing to do with its ultimate value, Shawn," He parroted the words exactly as he'd heard them.
And that spoke volumes, it proved what she already knew. Shawn didn't understand what they were telling him at The Center, he just liked the rose-colored glasses that –metaphorically– came with their sugar-coated lies. He liked the promise of a better life so much that he couldn't see all the absurdities so obviously embedded in their words.
"You don't believe that," Elena pointed out, knowing that hurting his feelings now was necessary to protect him from himself.
"I believe that I finally found a place where people let me be who I am. Y'know, without trying to change me or need to know what my goals are in life. I mean, why do I need that?" He scoffed.
Elena's brows furrowed as she stared at her boyfriend in disbelief. "So, I judge you?"
"You're doing it right now," He snapped sharply.
Even he knew he was being unfair, Elena was only of if not the only people that never judged him. But at that moment he was too caught up in The Center.
Elena sighed and pursed her lips. "Shawn, what do you believe in? Not The Center, not what they tell you to believe. You."
"What do you believe in, Elena?" He countered heatedly, his eyes narrowing angrily, "Do you believe in a mother and a father and a nice house on a nice street because that's what you have?" His voice softened, vulnerability and insecurity heavy in his tone when he spoke again, "Well, I don't have that. So I found something with these people."
"Yeah, but who are these people?" She huffed in exasperation.
She didn't understand how people he'd known for not even a full day could know him better than her and Cory, who'd known him his whole life.
"Stop trying to take away what I have," He demanded softly, "I don't do that to you."
He sighed tiredly, the weight of everyone being against him taking its toll. With a disappointed shake of his head, he made his way to the window.
"Shawn, where are you going?" Elena called, grabbing his hand to stop him, "I just want to talk about this Center."
"I am not gonna talk to you about something that you're never gonna understand," He argued.
"Then make me understand," She demanded, "I've been helping you understand everything since we met."
He shook his head. "You're as judgmental as everybody else in my life."
Now, it was getting hurtful. She could ignore it the first time, she did ignore it. But the more he said it, the more it seemed like he meant it, and that hurt. "Yeah, well, you're judging me right now. You said I couldn't understand, didn't even try to help me understand."
"I'm centered, you're not," He excused simply, "End of story."
"Shawn, why is this place such a big deal for you?" Elena asked with a frown. She knew Shawn better than himself even, always knew what he was going to do before he did it. But right now, she had no idea what to expect, "Why do you need to be a part of this place?"
Shawn sighed, his head was a jumbled mess as he tried to figure out how to explain his feelings that he barely understood. "Okay. All my life, I've felt like there's some part of me missing. And I felt like everybody could tell. Y'know, like there was some hole in me and everyone could see through it. Like I wasn't finished or something."
Elena's jaw dropped as she stared at her boyfriend, dumbstruck. "I never saw that, Shawn. I mean, if you would've just told me I could've done something about it."
Shawn brushed her off. "Let's not dwell on what people did or did not do for-"
"Stop!" She interrupted him firmly, "Shawn, I want you to tell me what you think about all of this. Not whatever hippie bullshit they're feeding you down at that Center."
"The Centre is filled with people who care about me and who make me feel like a person," Shawn said earnestly before instinctively going to hug her.
Elena took a step back, her brows furrowing and hurt clear as day on her face. "The Centre is filled with lost souls who have no belief system, who got tricked into being free walking advertisements for some low life" She corrected poignantly, "The Shawn Hunter that I know is one of the most unique individuals I've ever met. And if you let this place take away who you really are, Shawn, then you've made the worst judgment you can make."
"...I don't know who I am, Elena," He admitted softly before he left hurriedly.
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After her talk with Shawn, Elena had immediately gone over to Cory's house. They'd quickly decided to go down to The Center and try to talk some sense into Shawn together.
Eric decided to join them and he grabbed onto Elena's hand protectively as they walked down the stairs leading into The Center. "Be careful, Pebbles. These hippies might be dangerous."
"Well, this is it, Eric," Cory breathed out dramatically as the three looked around the place, "This is The Centre. Where Shawn is."
"Con men. Fakes and charlatans, I'd say," He scoffed in disdain before he held up their parking ticket and called out, "Which one of you brainwashed nuts validates parking?"
"Eric, listen, I would not underestimate these people, okay?" Cory warned his older brother, his brows pinched in worry, "I mean, they did get Shawn."
"Cory, no offense to Shawn or anything, okay, but it takes a pretty weak-willed and gullible individual to succumb to this kind of blatant scam," He brushed him off confidently.
Just as he said that a girl walked over to them with a bright smile. "Hi, I'm Alicia. Welcome to the Centre," She hugged him.
He gave her a dazed smile and held up his wallet. "Here's money, where's room?"
"You're the reason Dateline exists," Elena deadpanned, annoyed at how easily Eric caved.
Alicia nodded sympathetically. "I understand. You're feeling lost. Alone. Abandoned."
"Yes. My emotional pallet is missing yellow and blue. Where's my room?"
Cory's eyes widened when the girl pulled his brother away. "Oh, Eric. Eric!" He called, disappointed in his brother.
"No, no, no, no," He held his hand up to stop him, "My new nut name is Sunflower Fortunado."
"Cory, take me home," Elena demanded with a tired sigh, "Or set me on fire and the looney tunes over here can roast marshmallows."
Before they could say anything else, Shawn noticed them and walked over to them.
"What're you doing here?" He asked immediately.
Cory, with fake enthusiasm, threw up his arms for a hug. He frowned sarcastically when Shawn didn't go for the cult greeting. "What, no hug?"
Shawn sighed. "Guys, the Centre isn't the kind of place for someone like you, okay? You have something to believe in, I'm still looking. You should go, I belong here."
Elena and Cory shared a look, this was going to be harder than they thought.
"So that's it, huh?" Cory arched a brow, "You've chosen the Centre? You're gonna live here with these Jujyfruits? You can't see through this?"
Before Elena could say anything, Alicia dragged Eric past them.
"Guys, I wanna spend the rest of my life here. And the beauty part is, during the winter, I can go to their tanning and hugging center in the Bahamas!" He exclaimed happily.
Cory decided to deal with that later. "Lemme tell you something, Shawn-"
Shawn interrupted him. "Cory! Cory! Leave me alone, okay? It's not like I'm doing drugs!"
"It's just like you're doing drugs, okay?" Cory snapped, "I mean, you're having your mind messed with, you're not the person I know, and everything you say is artificial. Okay, you're not going to find what you're looking for, here."
"Shawn, what you believe in is supposed to be what you really think is right," Elena added ardently, "Not what some nutcase tells you is the right thing. Look, I know it's easier to listen to some guy than to figure it out for yourself but there are some things that no one can figure out for you, okay?"
"16 years of being out there, I haven't found anything at all," Shawn deadpanned, clearly not listening to a word they said.
"This guy, Mr. Mack, can't help you find what you're looking for because you don't know what you're looking for, alright?" Cory argued, "You're 16 years old! That's what this guy does. He makes you think you're lost so he can find you, and once he has you he will never let you out of his sight, okay. He will be there every time you turn around," He stiffened when he felt someone come up behind him, "Allow me to demonstrate. Hello."
Mr. Mack smiled warmly. "Welcome to the Centre."
Cory stared at him and turned to Shawn, dumbstruck. "Okay, he's very powerful. Who do I make the check out to?" He asked the cult leader.
Elena's face scrunched up into a disappointed grimace. "Why am I friends with you?"
"Beats me," Cory shrugged as he cowered behind her, "Now, sic him," He demanded.
"You're here to see that your friend Shawn is making the right choice for himself. So check us out. I think you're gonna like what you see. Nobody judges who you are or where you come from. Everyone here is the same."
"I'd love to, but, uh, I'm actually pretty busy trying to investigate the spiritual plane and reclaim my tattered soul from eternal damnation myself," Elena huffed sarcastically.
Mr. Mack chuckled, not at all fazed. "Okay, so we're not cut from the same cloth-"
"Of course," She nodded, "I'm exotic silk, whereas you are snakeskin."
"What motivates you, Elena?" He asked instead of getting offended.
Even Elena was off-put by how placid the man was. But that didn't stop her from snapping at him. "An unhealthy mix of spite, pettiness, the thirst for vengeance, and pure, relentless rage. All of which are currently directed at you," She glared at him.
"Elena," Shawn wanted quietly as he tugged on her arm, hoping she'd back down.
"It's okay, Shawn," Mr. Mack reassured, "Not everyone understands our message."
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Cory and Elena were back at the Matthews house after Shawn asked them to leave. He was way more attached to The Center than they'd ever thought.
"Y'know, guys, I'm his best friend and it's like he doesn't hear me anymore," Cory frowned, "Okay, I mean, why does he have so much faith in this 'Centre'?"
"Ugh! I want to kill him! I'm going to kill him!" Elena grumbled heatedly.
"Shawn or Mr. Mack?" Cory wondered.
She shrugged. "Haven't decided yet. Maybe both."
"No, I don't want you to bloody your beautiful hands. I will do it for you!" Lydia decided quickly, "George, bring the machete."
"No, you're not," Theo cut in sternly, stopping Mr. Feeny in his tracks, "And why do you have a machete here?"
Before she could answer, Alan pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Alright, let's discuss the machete later. Right now, let's get in the car, go down, and drag him out ourselves."
"I'm going with you. I'm well acquainted with The Centre, I've been trying to close it down for some time now. This Mr. Mack is a frightening man," Mr. Feeny explained gravelly.
Before they could go to Shawn, Shawn came to them with Eric in tow. He smiled at everyone and greeted them all by name but everyone could tell he wasn't his usual self.
"Shawn, are you alright?" Amy asked softly, her brows pinched in worry.
Shawn nodded with a bright smile. "Of course I am. I'm totally centered."
"Thanks, Eric, for bringing him back," Alan patted his eldest son's shoulder gratefully.
"Actually, I brought Eric back," Shawn corrected as he gave Eric a disappointed look, "Mr. Mack felt that Eric wasn't sincere. And that he was just in it for the hugs."
Eric laughed, clearly not upset at getting caught. "Well, yeah," He shrugged and went inside.
"Okay, I hope you've had a peaceful night. I'm going back to the Centre."
Alan jumped to stop him. "Oh, no, whoa, whoa. No, you're not. While your parents are out of town you are our responsibility," He said sternly.
"That means you're staying here, in this house," Amy added with a pointed look.
Shawn's face fell and he looked at the people he'd known all his life with suspicion. "Yeah. Mr. Mack told me that people like you would try to talk me out of my beliefs."
Amy looked at him in disbelief. "Shawn, we love you."
"He said you'd say that."
Alan threw his hands up in exasperation. "Alright, that's enough. Get him in the house and tie him up."
"Shawn, these aren't beliefs. This is just a way to escape a life that doesn't have beliefs," Mr. Feeny explained softly, hoping to get through to him.
"That's a judgment," Shawn snapped.
"You're damn right it is!" Mr. Feeny countered, standing his ground.
"Shawn, this isn't you," Theo spoke next, "You-"
"What's wrong with me trying to find something to believe in?" He interrupted heatedly.
"Shawn, I'm all for your search for spirituality, okay? But you don't seem to realize that Mr. Mack is conducting his own search. For lost souls that he can influence and manipulate," Mr. Feeny explained, feeling his hatred for the man grow tenfold.
Shawn chuckled dryly. "He said you'd say that."
"Yes, I'm sure he has given you a thought for every occasion," Mr. Feeny scoffed before he heard his landline ring inside, "Excuse me."
"Look, Shawn, I don't say this very often, but Feeny's making sense," Cory said.
"Not to me!" He argued, "I mean, why would Feeny feel the need to attack what I believe in?"
"Shawn, why do you need to believe in this 'Centre' so strongly?" Amy asked slowly.
At that, he flattered. "What?"
"Shawn, before you met these people at this place, what did you believe in?" Theo asked.
It took him a moment but he shrugged. "I don't know, nothing."
"Did you believe in God?" Lydia wondered, leaving the boy stumped. But before they could say anything else, Mr. Feeny came back out with a worried look, "George, what is it?"
"Jonathan Turner," He gulped anxiously, "He's been in a motorcycle accident."
Cory's eyes widened in worry. "Is he okay?"
"Uh, no, he isn't," He admitted quietly, "Theo, would you give me a lift down to the hospital?"
"We'll all go," Amy decided as Alan quickly went inside to grab his keys.
Cory and Elena were the last ones to follow the adults but they paused when they noticed Shawn hadn't moved an inch. They shared a look and frowned.
"Come on, Shawn," Cory called.
Shawn finally seemed to snap out of it. "I'll meet you guys there."
Cory's brows furrowed. "What do you mean-"
"I'll meet you guys there!" He barked before he rushed off.
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Cory breathed a sigh of relief when Shawn finally walked into the hospital waiting room. "Shawn," But he soon faltered when he saw someone else behind him, "Mr. Mack."
"Cory, Elena," Mr. Mack nodded in greeting to the two.
"I'm sorry, have we met?" Elena arched a brow, "I'm not good with faces I never want to see again"
"Shawn thought I could be of some help," He explained, ignoring her jab, and turned to the adults, "Hello, I'm Phillip Mack. Feeny."
Mr. Feeny narrowed his eyes on the man. "Mack, you don't belong here."
"One of my children invited me and as always I'm here for him. As well as any other child who calls for me," He gave Cory and Elena a meaningful look.
Theo quickly blocked the two from the man's line of sight protectively. "Keep walking, pal."
Eric stood up dutifully. "I wanna come back."
Mr. Mack immediately shook his head. "No, no, no."
"Owie!" Eric yelped in pain when Elena hit him over the head.
"Thank you," Alan called to her.
"What's he doing here?" Cory whispered to Shawn in disbelief.
"Cory, I couldn't face this alone," Shawn said as if it was obvious.
"But you're not alone," Elena reminded him, "We're here, y'know, your best friends, the people you've known all your life. How could you think you're alone when we're here?"
"I am beginning to see that you are more alone than I ever knew," Cory breathed out sadly.
Shawn's brows furrowed, not liking the look on their faces. "What does that mean?"
Cory didn't say anything, instead he just grabbed onto Shawn's left arm while Elena grabbed the right. They pulled him into Mr. Turner's room while the adults fought with Mr. Mack.
Shawn stiffened when he saw Jonathan, broken and bruised, laying in the hospital bed looking lifeless. "I-I can't be in here, this is too intense," He stuttered out anxiously.
"It is for all of us, Shawn," Elena countered softly, "But this is life and this is what's really happening right now."
Shawn shook his head as he took a shaky step back. "I need Mr. Mack."
"No!" Elena snapped, finally having enough of all of this, "He can't help you with this! Shawn, what is the matter with you?!"
"I don't know but I can look at him like this!" He turned on his heel only to have Cory shove him back gently, "Cory, come on, let me go."
Cory shook his head. "No."
"Cory, let me go!"
"Shawn," Elena's voice was softer now as she grabbed his hand, "This is something no one can help you with, okay? This is something you have to do on your own. And you can do this on your own. And if you really think you can't then you don't need Mr. Mack or the Center because you have us. We're always going to be here for you but the difference is we're not going to try and change you. Because that's what Mack is trying to do, he's trying to make you a puppet."
Shawn felt his head spin as he thought about everything that had happened in just the last hour. He couldn't deal with all of this and all he knew how to do in situations like these was to leave. That's what he'd seen his mother do, his father did it too, and now it was his turn.
But Cory stood in his way and wrapped him in a tight hug. Shawn! This is a hug, okay!? This is a hug! And this is when you hug somebody when you care about them. And when you want them to know that. Now you cannot leave here, do you hear me? Turner took care of you, he loves you and you love him. Is that real? Or are Mr. Mack and the Centre real? You decide, but you cannot go. We can go."
Cory slowly pulled away from the hug and gave his best friend a reassuring smile. He held his hand out to Elena so they could give Shawn a moment alone. Elena patted her boyfriend's shoulder comfortingly and went to pull away only to have Shawn grab onto her hand like a lifeline.
"Stay," He whispered, his eyes trained on the ground.
Elena nodded for Cory to wait outside for her. When they were alone, she pulled her hand from his grip and hugged him. She didn't say anything as she felt tears soak into her shirt, she just rubbed his back and kissed his temple.
"You said I wasn't alone because I'd always have you guys," He repeated, his voice thick with sadness, "Well, I don't want to do this alone."
She ran a hand through his hair, knowing that always calmed him down. "I know, Shawnie. And I'm going to be right here for you, on the other side of the door. Because you don't have to do anything alone but there are some things that you need to do alone. Like this."
Shawn, for the first time since being introduced to The Center, finally let her words sink in. He nodded slowly, giving her one last squeeze, to remind himself that she was really there before he pulled away. He reluctantly looked at Jonathan and sat down by his bedside.
Elena walked up behind him, wrapping an arm around him and pressing a kiss to his cheek before she left the room.
"Jon, how could you be in here? How could you screw up on your bike? I have never seen you screw up on anything. I'm the screw-up, remember? Come on, you remember. Don't do this to me, Jon. I don't do alone real good. Look, I know you're in there, but it's like you're not really here. You're not talking, but I know you're here. So I'm just going to talk, and you can listen. Jon, even when I was at the Centre, it was all the things that you taught me that made me wonder if it was the right place for me or not.
"But you didn't teach me enough. You and Elena, Cory and the Martinez's and the Matthews' and the handful of people who really care about me, so don't blow me off, Jon! Don't blow me off God! I've never asked you for anything and I never wanted to come to you like this. But don't take Turner away from me. He's not done yelling at me, yet. God, you're not talking, but I know you're here. So, I'm going to talk and you can listen. God... I don't want to be empty inside any more."
Shawn's head shot up when he felt Jonathan's hand curl weakly against his. A watery smile spread across Shawn's face, knowing Jonathan had heard him.
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"How is he?" Cory asked as soon as Shawn stepped out of Jonathan's room.
Shawn smiled warmly. "He's gonna be fine."
"Really? Is that what the doctor said?"
"No, I just know he is," Shawn didn't have to explain why and no one asked anyway.
Mr. Mack strolled over, nothing deterring him from his cult recruits. "Shawn, it's obviously been a very stressful day for you and I think you should come back to the Centre."
Shawn nodded without a second thought. "Yeah, I think I should, too."
Elena's eyes widened. "What?"
"I want to pick up my things, and then, if it's okay, come back and stay with you guys," Shawn turned to Alan and Amy with a hopeful look in his eyes.
Elena breathed out a sigh of relief and she saw Cory's shoulders sag in relief too.
Amy smiled warmly at him. "Yeah, it's okay."
Mr. Mack, on the other hand, frowned. "Shawn-"
"You know, I see you right in front of me and I hear what you have to say and it's nothing. And, if I was an empty person who didn't have anything to believe in, I might go with you, because that would be easy. Well, I'm done with easy and I'm done with empty. I'm done with you."
"That means leave," Lydia snapped with a glare, "Before I make you!"
Mr. Mack pursed his lips and left. Meanwhile, Lydia pulled Shawn into a tight hug.
"I'm surprised you let him out of here alive," Theo admitted with a chuckle.
"I wanted to kill him, but I bite my tongue because this family accuses me of being a Cuban hothead which is silly because a Cuban hothead is when you set someone's head on fire. It smells bad, but it sends a message," Lydia shrugged casually.
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〚𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄〛
It took me forever to decide what to do with this chapter so I really hope you guys liked it. I'm not a big fan of what I did with the hospital scene but whatever.
Only two chapters left before we start season 5! Are you guys excited?
What do you guys want to happen with Angela?
Please don't forget to vote and comment!
Have a great day and stay safe ♥♥