TRIGGER WARNING: sexual assault
---
" runnin' up, hittin' up, sendin' up, get 'em on impact "
---
aurora astor.
"Are you sure about this?" my best friend asks – one of my only friends actually. Sitting across from her at her apartment, my hood up as I work on the shit have to get done for class. I just nod and her green eyes glare at me.
"Yeah," I mutter as I write out this paper for one of my classes. She huffs at me as I sip on the coffee this late at night.
"Rory, come on," Jules mutters from across her dining table and I put a smile on my face, a slight ache in my jaw from the fight last week still lingering.
"It's fine, I can handle it," I tell her and she shakes her head, all her medical books spread out and she sighs.
"I know you can handle it, just–" she mutters and I stop her.
"Jules, this gets me one step closer to figuring this shit out," I say and she quickly shakes her head, tucking her blonde hair behind her ears.
"But this is some fucked shit–" she says and I nod.
"He's involved with this, I know he is," I say confidently and she rubs her tired eyes in frustration at me.
"You could have followed this trail a different way, you didn't need to actually get involved," Jules says with a sigh as she looks at me with worry all over her face. I just shrug, finishing off the coffee in my hand.
"I'm close, Jules." I try to convince myself honestly.
"This is so fucked." Jules mutters and I breathe out a laugh. "I just don't want you getting hurt, Rory." She scolds me and I smile.
"I'll be fine, I have you and Lou," I say and she groans at me, sitting back up to do her work.
"Might not be enough one day, Rory," she mutters, worry seeping off her voice. I shrug, not really caring, in all honesty, and I earn a glare from her. I just smile back and she huffs "How much is on tonight?" Jules asks and now I grin even more.
"5 grand," I say and her eyes go wide as I nod with a smile on my face.
"Who are you fighting tonight?" she asks me and I hum.
"No one special, just some guy that claims he's not as scared to hit girls," I say and Jules's eyebrows go up.
"Fucking kill him for me," she says and I snicker at her change of spirits.
"Definitely. Half of them are all talk, Jules." I mutter as I check the time and I get myself up from her dining table. Shutting my laptop and grabbing my coffee mug to go wash it in her sink.
"You never know until you're in the ring," Jules mutters and I take her mug out of her hands to wash it.
"It will be fine, Lou said the only person I have to watch out for is some guy called Styles," I say and her eyebrows go up. "And that's not who I'm fighting tonight," I reassure her and she huffs. I grab a water bottle, drinking from it as I try to get ready for this fight that I have in less than an hour.
I clean up her dining table, putting my books into my backpack, and grabbing my duffle from near her door. I roll over the waistband of my sweatpants once more and fix the little tie on the hoodie strings, strands of my hair falling out of my low bun and over my face.
"I look scary, right?" I ask with a proud smile on my face as Jules glances up at me from the front door as she opens it.
"You look like a fucking idiot. Let's go, Lou's waiting," she says and I chuckle as I walk out with my backpack on my back and my duffle in my hands. My black canvas vans tap in the hallway as I walk out with Jules, she's still uncomfortable with this stuff. But at the end of the day, she cares for me and knows that I can make my own stupid decisions and that's all I could ever ask – trust.
We jog down the stairs as our shoes tapping on the stairs echoed through the stairwell. Getting down to the bottom, I push open the door and Jules follows behind me as the cold Chicago air hits us.
The street is illuminated by the steady glow of a street lamp as we walk across the sidewalk in desperate need to be in the warmth of Lou's car. Jules slides into the back and I open up the front door as I hear Lou playing some upbeat songs, getting me in the right mood for this.
"Hey," Lou mutters and I slide into the seat, shutting the door behind me as I pull my bags off and set them in the foot space. Jules leans in between the front seats to wrap an arm around Lou and hug him and I smile at them. "You ready?" He asks me before kissing Jules' cheek lightly. I chuckle slightly as he pulls away from the curb, starting to drive through the dark city.
"Yeah," I say with confidence as I lean back in the seat as the streets of Chicago are lit by the glow of shop signs and tall concrete buildings, the nightlife bustling on the sidewalks on this Friday night.
"Alright–" Lou stops himself when the passenger seat belt warning flashes and he hits my arm "Put your fucking seat belt on." He snaps at me and I huff as I pull on the useless thing. I hear it click and the music thumps in this car, getting my heart rate up before I have to fight.
"This guy ..." he says and I hum. "Steps before he punches," he says and I knit my eyebrows together. "You hit his throat first and watch his feet." He warns me and I hear Jules chuckle at our talk and I smile at her as she leans in between the two front seats.
"You can take him," Lou reassures me and I laugh a little.
"Yeah, I know," I say and he hums, seeing him get closer to the club and I scrunch up my nose, sitting up a little more to get my mind off the road as I reach down into my bag to pull out my mask.
"Did you find anything new?" Lou asks me and I breathe out as I pull my hood down. Running my fingers through my hair, I tie it up tight into a messy bun to ensure it will stay.
"Not really, I saw Bella's crescent tattoo," I tell them and their eyes go up as I tie my mask over my eyes, feeling Jules fix it in the back. "I can try talking to her about it, I just don't know how much she's going to tell me," I mutter before thanking her for helping.
"Just be careful, Rory." Jules reminds me and I nod as I laugh a little.
"I know, I know," I mutter.
"Focus on the fight, you can't have your mind on that other shit," Lou says and I nod, pulling my tape out to start wrapping up my knuckles. Protecting my knuckles, I bite down to tear the tape off both hands from the roll, smoothing the end out. I see Lou pull into the parking lot of this club filled with other cars awaiting the event of the night.
I breathe out an exhale, needing one more fix. I reach into my bag, rummaging through it as Lou finds a spot to find my white and blue pack. I open it up and slip out a white stick with my lighter, zipping my duffle back up. The car comes to a halt as I sit up and I take my seatbelt off quick, grabbing my duffle and getting out of the car to shut the door behind me.
I stick the cigarette in between my lips, habitually cupping the end while Jules groans at me. My lips curl up as I flick the lighter, burning the end and the tobacco smoke fills my lungs as I appreciate the calm to my nerves.
I slide my lighter into my pocket and hold my duffle comfortably in my hand and pull the stick back. I suck in slightly and breathe out the hot smoke with it resting in between my fingers comfortably. The trio of us walk through the cold air as the smoke I'm breathing out combines with my breath forming in a little cloud.
We walk up to the tall, muscular bouncer and he glances at us. His poker face is amazing, I'll give it to him.
"Angel," Lou says as I smile, knowing the password is always the last win. Which is, me, duh.
He nods at us and I breathe out smoke from my drag, heading down the stairs to the door that leads where we want. I let Jules and Lou in before me and I follow them in.
The loud music and chatter hit me like a train. The red glow around this place always makes me blink a few times to adjust to the light. The ring unlit at the moment but the cage stands high and daunting, the fluorescents will turn on when it's time.
We weave our way through people, trying to get to the ring as I take long drags of this cigarette in between my fingers. I earn a few eyes and some recognition of me and the mask, I'm not going to out my identity to all these fuckers.
We get to the edge of the mats and I stick my cigarette in between my lips, sucking in the smoke and I lift my eyes up to the second-floor lookouts over the fencing of the ring. Hard to see in the red light, it's easier to see them in the light under the ring. I can just see figures up there, talking and not paying any attention down here yet.
I just focus on the music for a second, rubbing my temples as I breathe out smoke and my nerves with every drag of this burning cigarette.
Like clockwork, the fluorescent light flickers on and the music changes to hearing the music start pumping through me like ecstasy. I blink my eyes open and settle them on the illuminated empty ring as the crowd starts getting louder and crowding around the ring.
"Rory." I hear Lou and I glance over at him and Jules as they both give me reassuring smiles and I laugh slightly at them. I take one last drag of my cigarette as Jules shakes her head and I smirk as I head Lou the end of the cigarette and he snorts at me.
I gently blow out the smoke, glancing over and I see Bella walking out into the ring and she looks over at me. She winks subtly and I smile back, seeing just across the mats to see the fucker I'm fighting. His shirt off and his knuckles tapped up as he has a psychotic smile on his face that I ironically want to punch off.
I just reach to the bottom of my hoodie and I pull it over my head, making sure my mask doesn't fall off. Jules takes it from me and I thank her as I slide my shoes off my feet, throwing them on the floor and slipping my sweatpants from my legs to leave me in just a black strappy sports bra and black spandex on my bottoms.
I fix the waistband of my tight spandex, already earning enough eyes from the men that don't stand a fucking chance in here. Jules takes the sweats and I hear Bella announce the fucker while Jules replaces the sweats in my hand with water and I smile at her. Mouthing a thank you and she nods while I look over to see the fucker I'm about to beat the shit out of walk into the caged ring.
"We have Jones ..." Bella yells out as he gets a decent amount of cheers. I bring the water to my lips, letting it run down my dry throat and I swallow. Bella points to me and everyone's eyes go to me as I drink water.
"Versus Angel," Bella yells and my lips tug up into a smile on my face as Bella even cheers for me. I feel the adrenaline run through me as people cheer for me. I swallow, closing up the bottle and I hand it over to Jules as Bella starts talking and I wipe my lips with the back of my hand. Fixing my hair, Lou walks over to grab my shoulder and lean down as my heart pounds in my chest from the raw adrenaline.
"Remember what I said?" He asks and I nudge him and he laughs. "Use our new move," he says and my eyebrows go up as I smile even more and I nod. Jules wraps her arms around me and kisses my cheek and I groan out of love.
"Protect your face and your gut." She says proudly and my eyes go wide as Lou smiles at her proudly.
"Atta girl," I smirk and I stretch out my arms, glancing over at the fucker as Lou pats my back and I smile. I shake out my hands as people start cheering louder and the music plays so loudly that I can feel it in my veins.
I walk through the doorway and Lou shuts the door, latching it shut because there's no backing out. I head across the mat, closer to this fucker as he stares at me with that smirk still on his face and I scoff slightly. Giving him a good up and down, I take in his relatively small size and muscular build. Bella lightly squeezes my shoulder and I smile at her as she walks out of the ring.
I roll my neck out, taking a second to glance up at the platforms and I see that same guy from last time. His dark-colored curls on his head as he stares at me with a burning cigarette in between his fingers, leaning over the railing on his forearms. His features sharp and his eyebrows knit too close together. He just stares at me, smoke drifts from his lips, and I nearly laugh.
I pull myself back together and I look back down at this guy in front of me as we're trapped in here. His short brown hair and muscles were covered in ink under the light. He laughs at me and I knit my eyebrows together as I stare at him.
The hysterical cheers loud and the metal fence rattling with people in anticipation of what they're here for.
"Bitches like you shouldn't be fighting." He says to me and I hear the few people close enough to hear that laugh. I just smile, fixing up my hair as I tug it so it's tight enough.
"Probably not the best way to start off," I mutter to him and I see his eyes rake down my body and my blood boils.
Hearing the countdown start, I roll out the muscles in my neck before crouching down into my stance. My fists up to protect my face.
"1 ... have at it!" I hear Bella and I wait for his response as people cheer around us and I stay on my toes, remembering Lou's advice.
"You're all talk." I snap at him and he smirks at me.
"Come on then, babe." He says, curling his fingers towards himself as people scream at us to do something because we're just circling each other.
I shake my head, standing up straight and his eyes go wide as I freeze and cross my arms over my chest with a sarcastic sigh.
"You first, I'll be nice," I say as I smile at him and he scoffs a little. I might be a little overconfident. He just smirks at the opportunity.
"You won't be smiling when we're done, babe." He snaps at me and I shrug, waiting for the fucker to make a move as he just stares at me.
"Are you going to even–" I start and I laugh as he jabs at me. I dodge it quickly and I take notice that does in fact step before he punches. I snap my fist forward and hit him right in the throat first.
"That's it!" I hear Lou yell over the people and he chokes out loud as I get into a fighting stance again. I slam my fist into his right jaw as he's trying to recover from the throat punch and follow it with a left hook, his head swinging both sides with groans and I finish the combo with an uppercut for the nonexistent style points.
A sharp exhale coming out of my mouth as I hear people cheer for me grow louder. My body heats up as he stumbles back, cursing loudly and I pettily smile.
He shakes it out, seeing the anger set in as his ego starts to crumble.
God, I love it.
"What did I tell you?" I taunt him and a literal growl comes out of him as he comes charging at me. I wait for him to get close enough as his fists swing at me without any form and I duck, slamming my knuckle into his gut and he groans loudly.
Punching again and again at a spot in his abdomen, I know he feels the pain. He stumbles back and I shake out my hand, still in a fighting stance and waiting for him to be good at this.
"Fucking bitch." He rasps out and I chuckle.
"What? You can stand there and talk shit but you can't take it?" I continue to fan the flame and there's blood seeping down his lip. He tries to jump at me again, not even flinching anymore. I just laugh and shake my head as I hear the screaming crowd around us. His brown eyes narrow at me, hearing sharp puffs of air leave his nose.
Then he comes at me, trying to read what he's going to do with his hips but I can't. I throw an unstrategic punch that he ducks. I let out a puff of air out of frustration and I yelp in surprise when he grabs my legs and throws me over his shoulder. My vision comes face to face with his bareback as he holds me tight.
I groan out of annoyance, fucking idiot.
People start cheering for him as he parades me like he fucking did shit. All the blood starts to rush to my head. I reach down, grabbing his leg to something to hold onto.
In one fluid motion, I swing my heels to my head, taking him off balance. I flip myself over and land on my back on the mat with a sharp exhale at the impact.
He curses under his breath and I roll over to my stomach. I grab his ankle before he can even process what happened and yank it to me. His feet slip out from under him as I lift up and his back slams into the mat.
"That was cute." I pant out as I get on top, digging my knee into his stomach and he groans. I throw a punch at his jaw and another, sweat coating my entire body as his hand comes up so fast and slaps me in the face to hear the sound of skin against skin ring in my ear.
I clench my jaw as my anger simmers. I punch him in the temple, seeing him sputter out blood and he groans as I dig my knee in deeper.
He shoves me back and flips me over so my back collides with the mat. I gasp at the impact as his fist slams right into my jaw. I struggle under his grip as I hear a prideful laugh come out of him.
"This is where a pretty girl like you belongs, know your fucking place." He says, referring to the position, and rage like no other runs through me.
I lift my upper body off the mat and he slams my head back down and I let a swear leave my lips. It's replaced as his hand wraps around my throat and cuts my airway off. I gasp, feeling all the blood rush to my head and I squirm as my head spins to the mat.
His psychotic laugh fills my ears as his grip tightens. I choke, digging my nails into his forearm as I lose consciousness. I let out a scream of momentary surprise when his other hand wanders in between us, across the bare skin of my stomach, and lowers down my stomach to my core.
"Put this body of yours to good use elsewhere ..." he spits out at me and I squirm.
My gut wrenches and I have this feeling I hate more than anything – loss of control – run through every single part of my body.
I scream in my head, my heart pounding in my chest as I struggle to breathe.
"2!" I hear Lou scream through the hysterical screams of the crowd. I whimper, snapping out of it. I use the energy left in me to loop my right leg up and drive my heel right into his crotch and he yells out. His hand leaves and I gasp, putting my hands over my throat as his back hits the mat. He rolls onto his side and my chest heaves up and down as I try to regain consciousness.
And it snaps in me.
"Come on, babe, come on." I hear Jules in my ringing ears as I stare up at the blinding lights, seeing them spin above me as oxygen replenishes in my body. I roll over with a groan and lift up onto my knees to lift myself from the mat. The people cheering fades in and out of my ears, I stumble a little as I try to come back down to Earth and I take in him cupping his bruised crotch.
I cough on air a little, my voice was gone now. I drop down to my knee right on his stomach and he groans even louder as I grab his jaw, forcing him to look at me.
"Heard you like to hit women too?" I ask him, right in the middle of this fight with anger running through my bones as I breathe heavily. His eyes blink open as blood runs down his face and I stare at him closely as a sick smile graces his lips, his chest spasming as he tries to breathe.
"Bitches like you deserve it–" he says and I slam my fist into his jaw again and again as blood sputters everywhere and he coughs it out.
He groans as he goes to lift up but I grab his forearm. I fall to my side and wrap my legs around his neck to lock his arm straight in place against my chest and he groans. One little struggle and he snaps his own arm out its socket.
"Run that fucking shit by me again." I rasp out at him, using that very move that Lou and I worked on, as he squirms.
"Fuck yeah, that's it!" I hear Lou yell over the crowds of people and I hold his arm tighter against my chest, using everything left in me to keep it locked in place as my leg keeps his head squished against the mat. My body covered in sweat as I pant, breathing out sharp puffs of air through my nose.
"Fuck–" he stutters and I chuckle as people scream for me as I hold him down. I grip his arm tight against my chest as he continues to struggle.
"What was that?" I question and he groans loudly, squirming still as sweat drips down my body. I arch my body up to inhibit his ability to move his arm and he cries out in pain.
"Thought a little bitch had something to say." I rasp out, my voice went as I pinch my eyes shut, pulling so tight and too close to dislocating his shoulder while he screams out in pain.
His hand frantically taps my body. "I can't–" he chokes out and I wait for it again, continuing to tap my chest.
"I can't–" he rasps out and I loosen my grip on him. I hear a loud exhale leave him as I glance over at Bella. She nods at me through the fencing and I swallow hard. I just decide to be the petty person I am and I get back on top of him.
"Look at me." I snap at him, patting his cheek hard enough to get his attention. His eyes blink open as he breathes heavily, sweat mixing with the blood on his face. "You're so fucking lucky I didn't snap your arm, you misogynistic prick." I snap at him and get up.
"I hope you rot in hell." I chuckle under my breath, and he grabs my ankle last minute.
I bring my knee up and heel strike him in the face so his head slams so hard into the mat and it's lights out for him. His body goes limp and I step away from him as I breathe heavily, the screams of the crowd filling my ears again and my chest heaves up and down. Reality settles back in as I sniffle a little from the heat.
I shake it out as my head spins and I feel a soft hand grab my wrist. I nearly flinch but I look over to just see Bella. I smile through my pants, sweat running down my temple as she smiles at me and lifts my wrist into the air and the cheers get louder. She leans down to my ear as I blink my eyes a few times and glance up at the second-floor lookout, seeing that guy still staring.
"That was hot as fuck." She mutters into my ear and my lips curl up. I watch him breathe out smoke from his lips and run his fingers through his hair and I hum.
"All you," I say in return, feeling how hoarse my voice is from having my windpipe closed off. She lets my wrist drop as she pats my shoulder with a smirk.
"Let me figure out the money." She says and I nod, seeing her walk away and I rub my temples. I walk out of the doorway to the crowds of people again, conscious.
Instantly a body slams into mine and I groan. I stumble back and two bodies encase me in hugs. I breathe out a laugh as I feel somewhat safe again in my friends' arms.
Jules holds me tighter and I rub her back.
"I'm alright, Jules." I breathe out and they pull back as I put a smile on my face. Lou pats my shoulder and I smile.
"Nice moves." He says, his eyes crinkling at the sides in amusement. I laugh a little, putting my arm over Jules's shoulder and holding her tight to my side.
"Did you hear what he was saying?" I ask both of them and they shake their heads.
"Saw him fucking feel you up–" Jules says coldly and I hum.
"Prick." We say at the same time as we walk over to my bag. I pull away from Jules to slip my hoodie on over my head. I pull my sweaty hair tie out for my curls to fall over my face and to my shoulders. I scrunch my fingers through it a few times, fixing my mask.
"Is he conscious again?" I ask cautiously and I glance up as I rummage through my bag to try and find my smokes. The both of them look over to the fenced cage. I glance back down to pull one out and stick it in between my lips before cupping the end and lighting my cigarette.
"Yeah, he'll fuckin' live." Lou bitterly mutters and I hum as I slip on my shoes and tie up the laces.
"You nearly dislocated his shoulder, Rory." Jules chimes in and I glance up at Lou. I laugh, I just shrug.
"But I didn't." I chime with a smile amid the chaos around us.
I lift myself up to my feet with a groan, pulling my hood up and bringing the filter from my lips to breathe out smoke. I pick up my bag, another groan leaving my lips at the pain running through my body.
"Let's get you home," Lou mutters as he puts his arm over Jules's shoulder. We start walking to try and find Bella but I hear my fighter name get called.
"Angel." A man calls out and I glance over, pulling the filter from my lips as I breathe out the smoke and I look around, trying to find the person that said my name in this club. Seeing a tall, built man in an expensive black suit walk over and I blink a few times.
"Angel?" he questions again and I nod slowly, looking over at Lou and Jules as they stare at this unfamiliar man like I am. "You've been requested." He states and I scoff a little.
"By?" I ask, lifting the filter back up to my lips and sucking in the tobacco smoke as he glances up. I follow his gaze up to the second-floor lookout, opposite the intimidating man always watching me. I look back down at this man "Why?" I ask as I breathe out smoke away from them.
"Just a request to talk." He states and I knit my eyebrows together as I narrow my eyes and he stares back.
"Let's just go," Lou states as he grabs my arm but this guy grabs Lou's arm and his eyes go wide as his jaw clenches.
"I don't suggest turning him down." This guy says and I scoff a little, pulling his hand off of Lou to step in between them as Jules stays close to him.
"Lead the way," I state and my friends scoff at me.
"R–" Jules starts and my eyes go wide as she clamps her lips shut.
"I'll be back," I say and Lou glares, grabbing my elbow.
"Don't get involved in this shit, please." He asks and I nod, pulling away from him.
"I won't," I say and they both sigh. "Look for Bella?" I ask them and they nod as I smile.
"I'll be back," I state and I look over to this guy, nodding at him and he turns to start leading the way through people.
I just suck in smoke, feeling it fill my lungs, and I inhale. I breathe it out to see the smoke dissipate into this red light. I lick my lips and he stops in front of a door, opening it up with ease as I notice a bodyguard with a snake tattoo on the side of his neck and I swallow the lump forming in my throat.
I walk in behind him and the door shuts behind us. I follow him up and take drags from my cigarette. My duffle is still in my hands as my vans tap on the stairwell and echo through the hollow space.
Once we get to the top and he pushes the door open and I step through to see more guys than girls in here, most of the women are half-naked in lingerie. There's a bar pushed into the corner of this dimly lip exclusive room with most of them eyeing me suspiciously as I step through the place.
"There," the guy who brought me here says from behind me as he points at the man sitting by himself on the couch closest to the railing. I walk over slowly, taking another drag from my cigarette and already being too exhausted to put up with any more shit today.
I glance across the club to the other lookout, seeing figures and their heads turned in this direction but I can't see faces.
I just walk around the couch, tapping the ashes off my cigarette whilst I breathe out the smoke and turn to face this guy.
I take in his expensive dress shirt and pants, his platinum blonde hair in this dim light, dark eyebrows, and sharp features. Tattoos all over his body as they peek out on the exposed skin. He's not bad–
"Thomas." He says, sitting up and sticking his hand out for me. I gently take it, shaking it. I glance down to see the snake tattoo peeking out on his wrist while he waits for me to say my name and I pull my hand away.
"Angel," I say and he shakes his head, sipping on whatever's in his glass.
"Your real name ..." he states with nothing but coldness behind his voice and I shrug.
"Why would I tell you that?" I tilt my head slightly to the side and I take another drag. He gets up and my heart slams into my chest at the surprise as he towers over me.
He takes another step to me and I take one back for my lower back hit the railing. He leans over me, placing both his hands on either side of me. I can smell the alcohol on his lips from the proximity.
His eyes scan over my face, unable to truly tell what color he is under this light but I know they're not dark.
"You intrigue me." He mewls and I hum. I take another drag of this cigarette and breathe it right out in between us.
I hear a chuckle leave his lips. "At least give me a hint ..." he says charmingly, his voice dark and low and it makes my stomach twist weirdly – can't figure out if it's good or bad. His fingertips teasingly trace around my mask over my eyes with a sly smile on his face.
"Sorry," I say sarcastically and he shakes his head as he continues to stare as he's invading my space.
"Hmm." He hums and I laugh a little as his eyebrows knit together "I'll figure it out soon enough." He threatens and I scoff.
"Why?" I ask him as I reach over, squishing the end of my cigarette into the ashtray and breathing out the last of the smoke as I stare at his eyes.
"I want you on my side." He says and my eyebrows furrow together.
"I'm not getting involved," I tell him and he chuckles a little as I tilt my head slightly at his response.
"Sweetheart, you got involved the second you stepped into that ring." He mutters and I press my lips together. "Why else would you fight here?" He asks and I hum with a nod.
"Guess that's for you to figure out," I say and he shakes his head as I push him off of me and slide past him.
"I'll see you soon." He says from behind me and I roll my eyes slightly as I weave my way through people to get to the door and I push it open.
I walk into the stairwell and I did not exactly enjoy the threats, they make my stomach twist in the worst possible way.
I just wish this was easier and answers could be handed to me, but that's not how life works. I know that.
I jog down the stairs, my body aching from that fight as I get to the bottom of the stairs and I push open the door. I step back out into the club and the music floods my ears. I weave my way through people, keeping my head down as I try to find my friends and I stop myself as I see them at the bar. Both of them look over with worry on their faces as Lou hands me a thick envelope.
"Let's go," I say quickly and they nod, pushing me out as I slide past people and try to get to the door. I get stopped again and I huff under my breath.
"Angel!" I hear a familiar voice and I lift my head to look over. I see Bella pushing her way through people to get to me and I force a smile on my lips. "Hey." She says breathlessly and I nod. "I need one last thing from you." She says and I nod slowly.
"Sure," I mutter as I glance over at Lou and Jules just staring at Bella.
"Your last name for the log." She says and my eyebrow knit together.
"What–" I mutter and she breathes out a laugh and shakes her head.
"I'm not telling anyone your real name, it's just for the records we keep." She says and I glance over Lou and Jules, seeing them look at me and Lou nods slightly. I swallow hard and look back at Bella.
"I swear to God if people start–" I say and she shakes her head.
"Our secret." She mutters and I sigh slightly and I lean up to her ear.
"Astor," I say and she hums.
"And your real name's Rory?" She asks into my ear and I breathe out a huff.
"Aurora Astor." I rasp into her ear, my voice is still gone, and she hums.
"Thanks, babe." She says and I pull away. I nod, glancing at Lou and Jules as they look at me hesitantly. "You have the money?" She questions and I nod.
"Okay, I'll see you next week," Bella says and I put a slight smile on my face as she backs away. "I'll text you!" She calls out and I just nod, feeling Lou and Jules push me away as we have to get out of here.
I push it open and the cold air hits my face and my eyes water in the dry air. I walk up the stairs, past the bouncer with my friends behind me. We head across the parking lot to Lou's car quickly and sliding into the front seat as I sigh and shut the door behind me.
Both of them get in, slamming the doors shut as I can see my breath form in front of me and Lou starts up the car to get it to warm up. I pull off my mask and I blink a few times as I slide it into my bag.
"What happened?" Jules asks as I start to peel the tape, stained with crimson and sweat, from my knuckles.
"I don't know, he was so odd," I mutter as I sniffle from the cold and pull my seatbelt on before Lou yells at me. I throw the used tape into my bag and I pull my knees into my chest as Lou starts driving.
"Who was he?" Jules asks and I just stare out the window and hug myself.
"He's Cobras, for sure, I saw the tattoo," I mutter and they go quiet. "He said some shit about me fighting for them," I tell both of them and Lou scoffs.
"Absolutely not, Rory, no–" he says and I breathe out a laugh as I smile slightly.
"Yeah, I didn't give him anything," I say and I hear them both sigh. My leg involuntarily bouncing without having a cigarette to calm my nerves right now and I bite the inside of my cheek.
"Keep it like that, you don't even have a lead on this," Lou mutters and I nod slowly as I huff. Jules reaches over and grabs my hand and I smile at her as she squeezes it and I return the gesture.
"I'll ask Bella," I say and they both hum.
"Don't go wandering by yourself," Jules mutters and I laugh a little.
"I can handle–" I start and they both stop me.
"Not against more than one guy, Rory," Lou says and I huff. "We know you can handle it but your body can only handle so much." He says and I feel Jules squeeze my hand.
"He's right." She chuckles and I smile at both of them, shaking my head.
"Yeah, just go to class, the gym, and home," I say and they both nod at me.
"Good," Jules mutters and I chuckle as I see Lou pull up to the curb of this worn-out building that I guess I have to call home.
I let go of Jules's hand and Lou parks the car. I twist in my seat to hug Lou and he pats my back and I pull away to hug Jules as she holds me tight.
"Thanks, guys," I tell them and they hum.
"You did good today, don't put up with shit," Lou says and I chuckle as I pull away from her and I open up the door, getting out and pulling my hood up even more in the cold. I reach over, picking up my backpack and sliding it on, and lifting up my duffle.
"Bye, love you," I say to both of them and I see Jules climbing to the front seat and I smile as I shut the door. I just glance down the quiet street as it's lit by a flickering streetlamp as my breath forms in front of me.
Opening up the metal door of this ratchet building, I go up the stairs quicker than normal, just a little more paranoid tonight. I get up the few flights of stairs and my muscles scream at me.
I walk out into the hallway, peeling paint and broken floorboards compile this place. I pull my keys out of my bag, glancing down the hallway to the stairwell doorway as I unlock my door and quickly push it open.
Sliding into my place quickly and shutting the door behind me, I lock it as I throw my keys onto the countertop. I slip my vans off my heels and set my bags down at the door as I flick the light on.
I look around at this place, the small dining table with clutter all over it, and my living room just beyond that. The two large windows with sheer white curtains over them. I walk through my place, sighing to myself as I head into the only other room in here, my bedroom. Slipping my socks off and walking over to the small bathroom, I start up the shower for it to warm up.
I just glance into the mirror, blinking a few times while I bring my fingertips up to gently press to the red patch on my skin that's forming a bruise right now. I wince slightly and seeing the old yellow bruises on my jaw from the fight last week. My eyes glance down to see the red marks on my neck as well under the fluorescents in my bathroom.
I just rub my tired face and I start to pull my clothes off to take a shower, wincing at my sore muscles and needing to get into the shower fast because I can't waste water.
I walk across the tiles in this cramped bathroom space and I draw the curtain before stepping into the tub as the water sprays from the showerhead. The water pressure is horrendous and I just make the best use of it, as I always do.
The lukewarm water runs down my body while I pinch my eyes shut and I rub my face, feeling the ache when I rub against my bruises.
Reminding myself in my head that I deserve it.
I just squeeze out shampoo into my palm, lathering it in between my palms and I run it through my hair. The suds form as I scrub my scalp and I rinse it out, wringing out my hair to get it all out. I follow it as I squeeze out the conditioner into my palm, massaging it into my ends and I let it sit for a second.
I squeeze out soap onto my loofah as I wet it under the water from the showerhead, the water getting colder the longer I stay in here. Scrubbing my body down, I shut my eyes, and my breath hitches for a second. I swallow hard as I scrub harder across my chest and my stomach, trying to get rid of every single spot the fucker touched tonight.
Not regretting a single punch tonight but I hate myself for letting it get that far in the first place, for letting him make me powerless for a fraction of a second.
I breathe out and I sniffle as I scrub down the rest of my body, head to toe until I feel clean. I let the suds rinse off my body and swirl down the drain. I quickly rinse out the conditioner, my arms aching as I lift them up to do the simple action.
I shut the water off and pull the curtain back, reaching over to grab my towel as I pat my body dry and wrap it around myself. Stepping out of the tub, I shut the curtain behind me to walk over to the sink and grab my hairbrush to run it through my hair.
I open up the medicine cabinet and I reach in, seeing the mess of things in here and I squeeze out some of the product for my hair. Running my fingers through my hair, I stare into the mirror and I wash my hands after.
I brush my teeth and wash my face for the night and I step out of the bathroom, shutting the fan and lights off. My apartment falls silent as I can hear the traffic from the city just barely a noise through the white noise.
I walk across my room, opening up a drawer and I pull on underwear and an oversized shirt over my head. I pull my hair from being trapped under the shirt so my hair can start drying and I hang my towel up. I sigh to myself and hope I can get some sleep because I am so tired.
I attempt it, shutting the lights off and I walk over to crawl onto my bed and I slide my body under the warmth of my duvet with a sigh. My head sinks into the soft pillow as I lay on my side and I stare into the darkness of my room.
I listen to my own heartbeat and recognize the light pain tingling all over my body, my limbs and mind begging me for sleep.
But I can't–
I can't feel weak again, not tonight.
I sniffle, throwing the covers off of my body and swinging my legs over the side of the bed. I sigh and I stand up, walking over to my closet and I breathe out a raspberry.
Opening the double doors to the small space, I lift up on my tippy toes to pull the string for the light bulb in this space. My eyes staring at my paranoia all over the walls and the inside of the doors.
Rolling over my chair, I sit myself down with a sigh and I stare at it all, rubbing at my temples in the process.
"Where are you?" I whisper to myself into the silence of my place and I rest my chin on my knees.
---
crescent butterfly for reference –
not harry's butterfly but we're going to use our imagination since it's close but not really :)
love, han