**
Roseanne picks up the letters in front of their door and takes them inside. She slides off her shoes and shuffles through them. Walking into the kitchen she hands her girlfriend one of them. “Bills,” she simply says and leans against the kitchen counter going through the rest. When she reaches the last one, she freezes and swallows hard.
“You’re alright?” Lisa asks confused.
“Sure,” Roseanne just says and throws the letter unopened into the bin.
“Why did you-?”
“Because whatever it is, I won’t do it,” Roseanne answers and wants to leave the kitchen. She gets stopped by Lisa who lies down the bills and grabs her by the wrist irritated.
“What’s going on?” she asks softly and gets up as well.
“Nothing,” Roseanne mumbles and looks down at the floor. “I need a shower,” she says and frees herself of Lisa’s grip going upstairs quickly.
Lisa stays still for a moment, confused about what’s going on, then she walks to the bin and takes out the letter. Seeing the logo of Roseanne’s high school, she can understand her defensive reaction. She walks upstairs and sits down in the comfortable armchair standing in their bedroom. Lisa plays with the letter in her hands and thinks about what to say.
Roseanne dressed up in sweatpants and Lisa’s sweater and looks at herself in the mirror. She is kind of curious what’s the letter about but she also doesn’t want to read it. This place is full of dark memories. She takes a deep breath and steps out of the bathroom seeing Lisa with the letter. “Please don’t,” she says.
“You don’t even know what it’s about-” Lisa tries but Roseanne cuts her off by slamming the bathroom door closed.
“I don’t have to,” she growls harshly and walks over to the window opening it and letting some fresh air inside.
“What if it’s to talk about bullying to younger kids? I mean you just opened up about this part of your past a few weeks ago to the public,” Lisa speaks and Roseanne turns around slowly.
“What should I tell them?” she asks low voiced, “That things never get better, that this stuff fucks you up and that you’ll feel shit about it all of your life?”
“Tell them the truth,” Lisa says.
“That is the truth. I feel like shit about myself because it’s still in my head,” Roseanne grumbles and folds her arms in front of her chest. She doesn’t like where this talk is going. She doesn’t want Lisa to know how extremely fucked up she still is because of this.
Lisa gets up and shakes her head, “Love, calm down, I don’t wanna make you angry, okay?” she tries and Roseanne relaxes a bit. “You can talk about what damage it causes people to get bullied and how to get help. I know you didn’t, but it’s possible,” she can see Roseanne trying to get away from this talk and softly takes her hands into hers, “You can show them that such things can make you stronger.”
“I dunno,” Roseanne just sighs and shakes her head. Lisa hands her the letter and Roseanne watches it, a bit disgusted for a moment before opening it. She reads through it and feels herself getting sick. “No, no, no, I won’t do that,” she says and shakes her head furiously. She shoves it to Lisa and sits down in the armchair, caught up in thoughts.
Lisa reads about the high school reunion and bites her lower lip. She can imagine how hard the thought of returning there and face her former bullies is for Roseanne. But that could be her opportunity to see that she’s above them now. She took her life into her own hands and made something so incredible out of it, not backing down. Lisa crouches down in front of her and softly runs her hand over her knee, “Rosie?”
“I won’t go there,” she says and doesn’t look up. The thought of meeting her bullies makes her feel sick and dark memories she thought she pushed aside come back.
“I think it would be a good idea to go there, love,” Lisa says and sees Roseanne shaking her head. “Hey, look at me,” she speaks softly and lifts her chin with her fingers. Lisa meets a pair of deep brown eyes filled with tears, “Oh, Rosie, everything’s alright.”
Roseanne shakes her head again, “No, it’s not,” her voice trembles and lets out a shuddery breath, “I don’t wanna go there, I just can’t. But I don’t want you to be mad at me or think I’m too weak to handle it and-”
“Roseanne,” Lisa speaks firmly and her girlfriend looks at her shutting her mouth closed, “I won’t be mad at you and I don’t think you’re too weak. You’re scared and that’s okay,” she assures her and grabs Roseanne’s shaking hand. “Rosie, I won’t push you into something you don’t want, alright?” Roseanne nods and smiles weakly. “I just think it could be an opportunity.”
“For what?” Roseanne sighs a bit and plays with her hands nervously again.
“To show them you’re above them and their opinions doesn’t matter. Love, you are amazing, okay? You’re brilliantly talented in your job, you are incredibly gorgeous no matter how you look, you’re a sweet softie and I love you so, so much. Don’t let those idiots see anything else in you than this amazing and strong person you became,” Lisa speaks and she feels herself getting emotional a bit as well. It has always affected her to hear about what happened to Roseanne as a sweet child. But seeing how much it still hurts her sometimes was hard to watch and she wished she could let her see herself through her eyes, “You’re perfect the way you are.”
Roseanne feels the tears threatening to fall down her cheeks at that and she smiles softly, “I really don’t deserve you.”
“Oh, stop it,” Lisa says and shakes her head, “How do you think it’ll be to look them in the eyes and not being scared of them? Knowing you made something good out of your life and fulfilled your dreams they wanted to destroy?”
“I just don’t wanna go there, because if someone thinks it’s funny to fall back into old habits, I’ll be the idiot in all of this,” Roseanne admits and Lisa nods slowly.
“You know what? I’ll just accompany you and we’re gonna have a good time together. I promise,” she says and Roseanne watches her surprised.
“Really?” she asks.
“Of course,” Lisa answers.
“It’ll be boring, you don’t know anyone,” Roseanne tries again but Lisa just chuckles.
“You’re with me, I don’t care about the rest,” she answers and gets up, “Hug?”
Roseanne nods and gets up wrapping her arms around her tightly, “Thank you,” she whispers and buries her face in Lisa's shoulder.
Lisa strokes over her hair and places a kiss into it, smiling, “No need to thank me.”
-
Roseanne races into the bathroom and throws up, holding herself at the toilet, threatening to break down. Only two hours left until the reunion, two hours until she has to face her bullies, two hours-.
“Rosie?” Lisa asks worried and knocks at the half-opened door.
Roseanne gags one last time and flushes the toilet. She feels disgusting and leans against the wall panting. She can barely see Lisa coming inside with all the tears running down her face and wraps her arms around herself shivering.
Lisa crouches down in front of her with a glass of water and helps her to take a few swallows. She softly fondles over her cheek and Roseanne nudges her face into it. “Panicked?” she asks carefully and Roseanne nods.
“Sorry,” she mumbles and wipes away her tears, her breathing still going fast.
“Don’t be,” Lisa speaks and offers her to hold her hand, which Roseanne takes, “It’s okay to be scared.”
Roseanne leans her head back against the wall and shakes her head at herself. “I really need to calm the fuck down,” she sighs and closes her eyes, letting the tears fall down her cheeks.
“Just let it out now so it won’t overwhelm you later,” Lisa suggests and watches her with a compassionate smile.
“Can you stay with me?” she asks timidly and bites her lower lip nervously.
Lisa sits down next to her against the wall and pulls her onto her lap. Roseanne curls up against her and feels her throat getting tighter again. Lisa wraps her arms protectively around her and places a kiss onto her hair. “Let it out. I’m here,” she promises and Roseanne buries her face in her chest sobbing quietly, pained by memories.
Roseanne feels sick thinking at all the things they said to her, how they treated her and how she tried to hide it from her parents and sister. She tries to let them pass by, accept that it happened but doesn’t have to affect her so bad today, and focuses on Lisa next to her. She focuses on her sweet scent, her warm hug and natural comfort.
Lisa recognizes her getting calmer and rubs her back soothingly. She doesn’t want to pull her back too soon and decides to give her time. Lisa is curious how the evening will be and she hopes it’ll be an experience that builds her girlfriend up. She knows how much she struggles with it, getting panicked as soon as she puts on a little weight, trying to hide her shyness.
But Roseanne was perfect. Those beautiful, brown eyes and her gorgeous smile, her sweet, soft blonde curls she constantly wants to mess with. Rosie was fun to be around and she was so attentive and loyal. She loved every little bit about her and made it her mission to show her that.
Rosie feels too exhausted and wants to sleep. She sighs a bit and cuddles deeper into Lisa. “Jus’ five minutes,” she mumbles and feels tiredness taking over her body.
Lisa leans back and plays with her hair. She knew Rosenne needs a short nap to get some new energy and so she lets her. She could wake her up in twenty minutes and then get ready. After twenty minutes she softly fondles over her cheek. “Rosie, wake up, love,” she says and rubs her arm lovingly.
Roseanne shifts in her arms and growls softly rubbing her eyes. “Join me in the shower?” she asks low voiced and buries her face in her neck tiredly.
“Sure,” Lisa answers and places a soft kiss onto her forehead.
-
After a cuddly and warm shower, they get ready. Roseanne keeps on dropping stuff until she gives up frustrated. Lisa giggles softly at her and steps in front of her, “Take a deep breath, everything’s alright,” she gently closes the buttons of Roseanne’s dress and fixes her long hair a bit. She sees Roseanne’s self-conscious look into the mirror and grabs her chin with her hand softly, pulling her down to look at her. “You look stunning,” she speaks with a reassuring smile.
Roseanne’s brown eyes soften a bit and she smiles bravely. “Thanks,” she breathes out and leans down kissing her softly, needing some reassurance. She looks into Lisa’s beautiful soft puppy eyes and takes a deep breath. Whatever would happen she would still have her gorgeous girlfriend.
“I won’t leave your side tonight, alright?” Lisa smiles up to her and Rosie nods.
-
Lisa parks the car and sees Roseanne getting pale. “Okay, take a deep breath. It’ll be alright and we’ll have some fun,” she soothes her but she sees how hard Roseanne’s hands are shaking.
Rosie leans forward and buries her face in her hands groaning. “Idon’twannadothis!” she growls and tries to breathe deep. “No,” she whines and feels hefself panicking again.
Lisa carefully places her hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay, love, take your time.”
“I-I really don’t know if I can do this,” she says with a trembling voice and rests her head against the dashboard, wrapping her arms around her hurting stomach, “I wanna go home,” she says and her voice cracks, “Please.”
“After you took the invitation and said you’re gonna come?” Lisa asks slowly, “That will only show them they can do such things.”
Roseanne nods slowly, she knows Lisa is right and she wanted to go in there with her by her side. She would be brave enough with her. But somehow her anxiety came back full force. “I know,” she mumbles, “But the thought of getting in there makes me wanna throw up. Again.”
Lisa nods understanding. “Lean back,” she says and Roseanne does as she says leaning back in her seat. “Close your eyes.” Rosie gives her an irritated look. “Just do it,” she giggles and rubs her thigh lovingly. “Okay and now take a deep breath-and breathe out slowly.”
Roseanne feels her lungs opening up again and her breathing getting steadier. She grabs Lisa's hand and interlocks their fingers calming down a bit.
Lisa squeezes her hand and Rosie opens her eyes again glancing at her. “Rosie, you are beautiful, funny, sweet and talented. You worked hard to get where you are today and you own it. Remember how much you’ve grown since then and keep in mind I’m ready to kick ass if I’ll have to,” Lisa speaks and Rosie cracks up.
"I’d love to see that,” she admits with a smirk.
“I love you and I’m so proud of you,” she says and squeezes her hand.
“I love you, too,” Rosie says with a soft smile and leans towards her kissing her softly, before leaning her forehead against Lisa’s. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, “Okay.”
-
Before she opens the door, she takes a deep breath and reaches back for Lisa’s hand. Lisa interlocks their fingers and squeezes her hand reassuringly. Roseanne opens the door and steps inside the hallway.
Lisa decides to pretend she’s calm and relaxed to give Roseanne some reassurance. They walk down the hallway towards the opened door at the end of it. Lisa stops her shortly and cups her face kissing her lovingly. “Ready?” she whispers.
“Yeah,” Rosie says low voiced and grabs Lisa’s hand again to support herself. She’s not alone. When they step inside it looks like the rest is already here. She swallows hard and doesn’t know what to do when one of them suddenly steps forward.
“Roseanne!” she opens her arms and pulls her into a hug, “Good to see you.”
“Hey,” Roseanne barely gets out, hugging her main bully.
“I really missed you,” she says.
“I bet,” Roseanne presses out and takes a deep breath, only for Lisa to recognize.
“Yeah, you know we always had fun,” she says.
“Oh yeah, that time was really funny,” she speaks out sour and tries to calm down. Don’t let her provoke her, don’t. She pats her shoulder and gets herself a drink. Roseanne exhales audible and bites her lower lip.
“Fun?” Lisa asks quietly.
“She was one of the main bullies” she answers in a low voice and shakes her head slightly.
“Oh,” Lisa says and places her hand on Roseanne's lower back rubbing tiny circles on it calming.
“Yeah,” she sighs and they walk over to the big table where some of them already sit. Roseanne searches her name sign and sits down realizing she’s sitting opposite her high school crush. The only girl who didn’t take part in the bullying or making fun of her.
She turns towards her and smiles, “Hey, how are you doing?”
“I’m good, how’s about you?” she asks.
“I’m alright, trying to get happy again,” The woman confesses with a sad smile.
“Oh, what happened?” Roseanne asks compassionately and watches Lisa getting them some drinks.
“Just went through a nasty break-up,” she admits and plays with the glass in her hands, “How’s it with you and relationships?” she asks curiously and Roseanne swallows at that. Well, it was too late for the girl to try and get Rosie after all these years.
Roseanne wants to answer when she feels Lisa’s presence behind her. “It’s going good, I’m happy,” she says and then Lisa steps next to her putting down their drinks and leaning down to kiss her.
Lisa sits down next to her and grabs her hand underneath the table, “What are you talking about?”
“About her rough break-up,” Rosie says and Lisa’s eyes widen.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” she says and feels bad about kissing Roseanne so lovingly in front of the woman.
“It’s fine,” she chuckles.
Suddenly, another classmate sitting next to her starts talking with them as well, “Well you certainly gained a lot of weight.”
Lisa can hear the teasing tone in her voice and feels herself getting mad. Rosie shifts on her seat next to her and Lisa knows how much she struggles with her body. She wouldn’t let this idiot destroy all the progress she made with Rosie and wants to say something but Roseanne does it before her.
“Well you certainly gained some weight too. I guess that happens,” Rosie says calm and Lisa bites back a laugh, the woman opposite of them doing the same.
“Very funny,” she growls.
“Yeah must be feeling awful to hear something like that right?” Rosie says and looks away when she sees her going pale. Rosie signals Lisa underneath the table that that’s her second main bully.
Lisa smirks at her and rubs her thigh. Well done. The evening continues and she can see Roseanne relaxing next to her, not hiding she’s happy with Lisa and their relationship.
-
When they are back home Roseanne closes the door and looks at her girlfriend who’s sliding out of her shoes and hanging up her jacket, “Lisa?”
“Yeah?” she looks up and sees Roseanne’s deep brown ocean eyes resting on her.
Rosie swallows down the tears and smiles at her, “Thank you,” she gets out, her lips trembling.
“Oh love, there’s no need to thank me,” Lisa says and walks over to her grabbing her hand, “You’re perfect and it was about time to let you see they can’t harm you anymore. Because you’re stronger and better as them. I’m so glad it worked out and I’m so damn proud of you. You are an incredible person, you hear me? And-don’t cry,” she giggles softly when tears fall down her cheeks.
Roseanne smiles at her and shakes her head, “You’re perfect,” Lisa just giggles and pulls her into a hug, “I would’ve never done that without you.”
“You just needed a little push.” Lisa winks at her and cups her face. They exchange their sweet I love yous and then she stands on her toes capturing Roseanne’s full lips in a kiss.
Roseanne lifts her up and carries her upstairs kissing her. God, she loved her perfect girlfriend.
**
CTTO ;)
Thankyouuuuu ❤️