Summary: Logan and Janus are college students with their whole lives ahead of them. Logan has just began his gender transition and has only transitioned socially due to his family troubles. After a mistake their lives change forever - but they don't regret it.
TW - I don't know if this counts as mpreg but fuck it trans men are real men so this is mpreg. Also a mention of abortion and negative self talk about gender validity/transphobia at the beginning. I'll mention when all of those topics have stopped being mentioned and it's just fluff.
This is going to be in all one chapter because of the mpreg so will be a long read.
Also I usually have Janus call Logan ru-bitch (after Rubik's cube) but I felt like a more endearing term was needed so ru-babe it is.
Words: 2734 (about)
Logan Dodson and Janus Marcus started dating freshman year of college; Janus was a philosophy major and Logan double majoring in psychology and literature. People viewed the pair as the perfect couple, the most amazing boyfriends. Logan was comfortable sharing that he was trans to a few of his closest friends (mainly his best friends Patton and Virgil), but he passed quite well so ever since he started socially transitioning in junior year of high school he felt pretty comfortable in his own skin. He was going to wait for all the medical things when he had the money to support that - although Janus happily mentioned he could pitch in whenever the topic was brought up.
This was in past tense for a valid reason. Logan and Janus shared their 'first time' in June of their second year, it was amazing but almost immediately afterwards Logan began to feel very sick. He did use protection regularly, but mistakes happen. He didn't say anything about it though at first as it was nearing the end of the school year and Janus' parents had just moved several states away so he was already stressed with travelling. But soon came August and Logan requested Janus to travel back early and meet in the local park. The only thing calming him was the FamILY group chat:
🐶 Patton 🐶 : It's OK Logie! I already know Janus will support you whatever happens!
😈 Virgil 😈 : Yeah, you two are toxically cute and caring. If he turns into a snake over this I'll make sure he has no future children by a swift kick in the balls
🐶 Patton 🐶 : Virgil! Don't say that about Lo's boyfriend!
🤖 Logan 🤖 : Thanks so much guys. You're the best.
"What's the matter Ru-babe?" Logan heard Janus approach behind him, leaning down and giving his boyfriend a kiss on the cheek. "You seemed really emotional when you called me - Is it ketchup season? I brought ice cream in case it is." Janus sat next to his boyfriend and gave him a tub of strawberry ice cream he'd bought at the airport - it probably wasn't cold but it was the thought that counted. But instead of eating Logan only leant on Janus' shoulder, taking a deep breath.
"I... took a test Jan..." Logan began, trying to keep his composure and his voice monotone. The past few weeks he had been rehearsing this moment, imagining all the outcomes, logically thinking through what he'd do if he was left alone. He'd cry of course, but he couldn't cry for eternity.
"Well - I'm sure you aced it. You're great at exams and stuff." Janus interrupted to console, wrapping his arm around his boyfriend's shoulders and kissing his forehead. Logan only sniffled and shook his head, rendering Janus to silence and allowing his boyfriend to continue speaking.
"Not that kind of test Janus. A pregnancy test. I'm... pregnant." Logan found it hard to even utter that last word. It was like that shouldn't even be possible for him to say, which it shouldn't. He had spent all this time blending in and being who he wanted to be just for reality to hit him in the face that he could never be who he wanted to be. He could never be Logan, truly.
It was no mistake that Janus' face dropped for a moment, trying to process what he had been told. Logan began stuffing his face with ice cream to hopefully calm himself down. "OK... Alright, first..." Janus grabbed Logan's hand that was resting on his knee, grasping it and keeping eye contact with his nervous lover. "Firstly, you're my boyfriend and you're Logan. If you ever say otherwise after this $50 of my inheritance goes into your medical fund. And I know how much you'd hate that." Logan chuckled which made Janus smile in return. Logan could swear his boyfriend was a mind reader. "Secondly, this is my doing too. I'll be extra careful from now on to check for holes and sizes and make sure everything stays on." Logan leaned into Janus' chest further, humming in happiness. Janus really was the best. "Thirdly - it's your choice what we do from here. Although I will strongly advise you don't drop out of college completely as I remember what you were like during the lecture strikes and you deserved to be in a mental hospital after that show." After reassuring his boyfriend Janus wrapped both arms around him and just held him, stroking his hair and kissing his head. They stayed like that for a little while - Logan just smelling Janus' cologne and smiling.
"Will you be there if I want to keep them?" Logan eventually mumbled. Janus cupped his cheeks and nodded. "I'll have to move in with my parents instead of being in dorms - you're in dorms though right?"
Janus knew Logan's family wasn't the most accepting. They still called him by his dead name with she/her pronouns and spoke badly of LGBTQ people as a whole. Logan only just managed living with his parents during the holidays - and even then he needed nightly FaceTimes to feel valid. "I won't be. We'll rent one of the apartments together." Janus pointed to the block of flats behind the park, a walk from university and often used by college couples to give them privacy from campus. Janus and Logan didn't see a reason to rent there until now - and Janus' parents had the money to help out. "We'll be a family."
And with that Logan couldn't help but lean in, giving Janus a soft kiss. This was new, this was scary, but he was happy the pair were going through it together. Janus kissed back just as happily, holding him for security, feeling ready for the world.
**TW above has ended now, I'll mention if there are any more further down when they are just about to appear**
It took a few months for the boyfriends to find an apartment and move in, but by November they were settled together. Janus opened the front door of the flat with a sigh, having returned from his History of Thought class which always bored him. He expected to see Logan working in the living room on one of his many essays or books he was writing - and was confused when he wasn't in the near vicinity until he heard an electric screwdriver.
Janus sprinted into the couple's bedroom to find Logan in his pjs sitting on the floor surrounded by abstract pieces of wood and vague building instructions. "Darling I was going to work on the bassinet this evening." Janus moaned, offering to help Logan up but he refused. He wasn't at the point in his pregnancy where he needed help standing up but Janus always offered anyway out of politeness. But instead Logan ignored his boyfriend, screwing two pole shapes together and examining it.
"I wanted to do it myself. Baby was being restless." Logan mumbled, concentrated, as Janus sat opposite him. "I figured out the legs of the thing and the bedding arrived today... Just the rest."
"You know if Baby's being restless you should be resting?" Janus tilted his head with a smile, his hand naturally landing on Logan's bump that was just starting to show. Logan secretly loved that habit, that Janus would always speak to him but also include their child in their lives by a simple reassuring touch. Patton and Virgil had begun to realise it too when the four hang out together - constantly commenting how cute it was and how the baby will have such good and caring fathers. It was surprising that not once had any lecturer (as the university needed to know of Logan's pregnancy) or student misgendered Logan yet, and he was happy to keep it that way. "Anyway..." Janus mumbled, trying to screw two planks together with one hand, "you're only like 5 months in right? We have time to get this done - doesn't have to all be today."
The couple hadn't got creative with naming at all. They didn't want to find out the sex of their baby just yet and had no clue what kind of names they liked. They both thought finding the perfect name would be a 'soulmate' moment - they'd see the name and every other name would feel weak in comparison, but they hadn't had that. Maybe it would just take time - so they called their little one Baby.
But eventually the pair did finish the bassinet, setting it up with the soft white star themed bedding Logan insisted on buying during heartburn insomnia at 2am. "Perfect..." Janus mumbled, tucking in the last of the bedding and looking back at his boyfriend who had been banished to the bed after feeling light cramps. "All ready for Baby."
*****
Reading was a good pastime for Janus and Logan, it always relaxed both of them. It was late January and Janus had just finished his classes, so was sat in the kitchen trying to multitask while cooking dinner. It was pasta, a simple dish as both men had many classes to get through that day. Logan would finish his last class at 6pm which meant he would be home in 3... 2... 1...
"Everything hurts!" Logan screamed as he opened the front door, his bigger bump hitting the door as he came in making him grumble. When Janus appeared Logan's expression softened for a minute and he came closer, trying to cuddle in although it was harder for Janus to snake his arm around his waist. "My pelvis, my heart, my back, my chest, my legs... Why do I have to walk everywhere honey-bee?"
"Do you need to lie down?" Janus whispered, his hand landing on Logan's belly just as a slight movement was felt underneath it. "That's a kick." Janus smiled down at the belly, stroking the spot he was on with his thumb. Only two more months to go before Baby comes into the world.
"Sofa sounds good." Logan moaned and laughed, happily guided to the sofa where Janus lay him down with a look of absolute adoration. Logan could never get enough of that look. "Thanks honey..."
Janus gave Logan a soft kiss, leaning on top of him. It was meant to be one kiss, but it ended up being many passionate ones. The pair soon got too distracted by each other's lips, cuddled together on the sofa and flush against each other. The only thing that stopped them from proceeding further was Janus' timer going off, and Logan groaning in uncomfortableness again. "Baby did not appreciate that weight."
"Sorry babe..." Janus disappeared again to retrieve the now a little burnt pasta before stopping in the middle of the kitchen. There were piles of Crofters strawberry jam, Logan's craving, stacked against the wall. Almost everyday Logan returned from classes with half a dozen more jars and Janus wasn't the type to complain. "Do you want Crofters babe?"
"Yes please!" Logan shouted from the other room, more enthusiastic than he'd been all day. Janus had no problem giving him the snack during dinner, and getting a few more kisses in return. Logan surprisingly didn't move from the couch all day. "I love you!"
**TW - Childbirth. Not too much detail but it happens - so a lot of mention of severe pain.**
"And this research supports the theory of mirror neurons, although animal studies are invalid because..." Pain. That's all Logan could feel. But he was in class, trying to prepare for the big test next week and all this pain was highly inconvenient. He was already feeling bloated today and these cramps were just getting worse.
"Logie, are you alright?" The voice beside him, Patton, whispered. Although he couldn't see his friend due to his fuzzy vision as his eyes were beginning to water. "You're grasping that pen pretty tight buddy." And that too was true, the indents at the sides would soon form bruises if Logan doesn't stop. "Should I help you out the class?"
Logan was going to answer just before another surge of pain went through, making him cover his mouth and release a groan. Patton immediately stood into action and grabbed Logan, helping him stand although it was getting increasingly difficult. "Bathroom... Male..." Was the only thing he could utter out as he was pretty much carried out of the lecture theatre, clutching his stomach. His face was red and all he could feel was his sweat.
"Shit - Logan!" Logan heard in the corridor, hoping it was Janus only to see his hoodie wearing best friend sprinting towards him. "Fuck... I'm here bud. Let's go." Virgil took control quickly, he was a nursing student so had fully prepared both in class and in his own time for this moment. The three eventually got into the bathroom - pristine white with blue furnishings... And spinning relatively quickly. "Faintness - have some water Lo." A purple water bottle appeared in front of Logan which he gladly took, drinking as much as he could. "I'll call Jan."
"He's... in class..." Logan whispered between the groans, holding his stomach again. "It's probably just the fake ones - Braxton... Fucks... Whatever..."
Virgil rolled his eyes, knowing Logan's habit of procrastination could beat the emo himself sometimes. He quickly dialled Janus' number, letting it ring for a few minutes before an out of breath Janus answered - he must have sprinted to get out of his lecture to answer the phone and over these last nine months he had gotten gloriously unfit. "Right, Jan, no time to explain. Just get to the Beckett lecture theatre bathrooms right away."
"On my way." Logan could hear Janus pant through the phone. Virgil put said phone on loud speaker as soon as he could tell Logan was listening in. "Is it the real thing? Tell Logan that I love him and I'll always love him... It sounds like I'm talking to a dying person - I'm panicking."
"I love you honey-bee." Logan managed to gasp out, clutching on the nearby sink he was just leaning on before. But he tried to hide his pain to not hurt his boyfriend. Then the pain paused for a moment, and Logan made eye contact with a shellshocked Patton.
"Virgil is he meant to pee?" Logan immediately understood what was happening by that question - his water broke - so he began to push. "OK, OK... Do I have consent to..."
"Yes, yes. Help..." Logan had to groan, so that's what they did. Virgil held Logan upright (against all medical advice it was actually easier for a person to give birth standing up than lying down) while Patton was there in case Baby needed catching. Meanwhile Janus could hear all of this through the phone - still running and anxiety high.
"Shit - God - uh - I love you too Ru-babe. I'm just outside Beckett I'll be there in five minutes." And then he hang up. Time blacked out for Logan after hearing that. He wasn't in a hospital, had no medication, no professional help - he just had to push through the pain. He was soon reassured by his boyfriend's arms around him, speaking gently and stroking his hair. "We're going to be fathers Lo... We'll be Dads... Just push..."
"OH MY GOD HE'S FREAKING ADORABLE!" Patton's fanboy scream grounded Logan in the situation again, the pain stopped, and after a few minutes there were small wails. Janus' arms left his side and instead reached forward, where Virgil and Patton passed him a small naked skin sack.
"Wait... Him?" Logan whispered, still feeling a little dazed and deciding the best option was to sit on the dirty bathroom floor. Janus sat beside him still holding the small mumbling sack against his chest. "We don't have a name..."
"Name him after one of us." Virgil laughed, on hold with the university hospital that needed to do all the post-birth checks. But the baby looked healthy and happy, already opening his eyes wide and watching his fathers curiously. "Or after the place he was born."
"Such a cute little thing cannot be named Bathroom, Virgil." Patton taunted, a slight smirk on his face and looking at Virgil in order to avoid looking at - and therefore attacking in a hug - the new fathers.
"Beckett." Logan whispered, fiddling with the tuft of blond hair on his son's head. 9 months of uncomfortableness was all for this, and it was all worth it. "Welcome to the world... Beckett Marcus-Dodson."