Cade
This girl will be the death of me. In all of her beauty, she drives me fucking insane. Kill her? Was she batshit crazy? As if I could even touch her in a harmful way, what the fuck was she doing to me? I was a man of power, people feared me. But this girl she- she did something to me, just being in her presence I can't see her hurt. And fuck she saw me doing lines. Shit, this got deeper than it should've been the entire time.
Now she was my responsibility. Fuck this dude, I don't need to be someone's babysitter. But if I don't protect her, then Jax or Derek will definitely go after her. Shit even thinking about them touching her makes my jaw clench up to the point I could break my teeth from holding them this tight together. I should've never sought her out in the first place, all she is becoming is a burden.
It surprised me when she rounded that corner and saw me, I was impressed she had picked the lock. I was also shocked by my lack of skills to do a sweep of the office and make sure there weren't any small pins or paperclips she could use, but at least now I know to always check before leaving her somewhere. She had fight in her, it was admirable. But it was also annoying as hell. If I had known she'd be this difficult, I wouldn't have ever talked to her at all.
There was just something about her dark brown hair and light brown eyes that painted her tan skinned face with the freckles that danced along the bridge of her nose, that I just couldn't stop thinking about. And the way she reacted to me whenever I was remotely close to her, the way her breathing picked up and I could practically feel her heart beating out of her chest. She was drawing me in like some sort of drug, and the drugs I was used to weren't working to get rid of her.
It infuriated me the more i thought about it. And when I had left her there just an hour ago, I ran straight to the club. I was in need of a good fuck, and any woman here would be happy to supply. Why should I spend my time waiting for some virgin to decide she wants to be fucked? It was pointless, and I didn't give a shit. Besides I knew if I did fuck her; she would become too attached. Maybe more so than already, and I definitely could not handle that.
I called Jax and Derek telling them the plan had changed. It was no longer about making her fall in love with me; it was about her surrendering. All she had to do was a couple favors and I would protect her. Shit I would probably protect her anyway. It was mind shattering the way she could fuck with me. I mean I'm Cade Walker, I don't do well with losing control. And I'll be damned if I let some prissy little miss perfect ruin my reputation.
Sure I would still break her heart, but I would at least get what I wanted. I needed her to submit to me, to realize that I'm the one in charge. Once she did that I could let her go, that's all women were good for in the first place. Sex and submission. Without that, she was no use. At first I had thought once I fuck her I'll be fine, but now it was a matter of not only taking her innocence but making her beg me to be the one to take it. And then of course leaving her in shambles.
She would be protected though, I wouldn't let anyone get to her because like I said she was my toy. She wasn't for anyone else to control, I was the only one in charge of her. The sooner she realizes that then the sooner we can get the fuck on with our lives.
My 'partners' were so obsessed with having her under our control because she was so new to the city that no other industries knew of her yet. They had also taken a liking to her looks, which she was fucking perfect so I don't blame them. The main draw of course was that she seemed to be interested in me, and then when I got angry with her it gave her incentive to go the police about threats. If she would've done that then my company would've fallen apart, which the boys would never allow. I took one for the team really, I decided I would babysit her and stick with her stubbornness until she agreed to help out the business.
It was only now that I realized how fucked I really was. I mean I'm at a club right now, getting a lap dance from a hot girl, and all I can think about is little miss perfect. Fucking damnit. I felt pity for her, stuck alone in an office room all day. But she did it to herself. Fuck I couldn't be here.
I told the girl to fuck off, and drove back to the office building. Approaching the door I heard loud sobs, shit. I don't deal with that kinda stuff. I'm not sensitive and I don't really care what the hell someone is feeling. But hearing her cries, because of me? That caused a pain in my chest I hadn't felt in a very long time. Was I actually feeling bad for what I had done?
"Estella?" I knocked cautiously.
"Yeah in here." She mumbled out, as if she could be anywhere else.
"Are you alright princess?"
"No." Simple answer, things were almost never simple with the girl. I barged in finding her huddled on the floor, knees to her chest and crying her eyes out. Shit, fuck me man.
"What's wrong?" That was a fucked thing to ask.
"I don't know how I got here. I don't know how to get out of it. I don't know what you want from me. I don't know anything and I'm exhausted. My minds been racing since I met you, I can't sleep right, I'm sitting in a room spending hours alone. My family is in danger, you hate me, and now? I hate myself too. More than I did before." She hates herself? Because of me?
"Why do you hate yourself?" I knew skipping over the other things would cause the scoff that left her lips, but the only part of it I could respond to was that.
"I let myself believe that a guy like you was interested in a girl like me. But in fact it was just a matter of being it the wrong place at the wrong time." She sniffled and looked down at her feet, hiding her gaze from me.
"What do you mean a guy like me and a girl like you?" I was getting frustrated, did she think she was above me?
"Cade. You're a bachelor, a player, you would never go after someone like me. Besides when you did; it was all a game. And now you're stuck with someone you can't stand because I happened to see something I shouldn't." Was she actually fucking blaming herself for this mess?
"You aren't at fault here Estella. It's a matter of circumstance and keeping you safe." I kept calm, hoping to comfort her with the small knowledge I had on the subject.
"That night. The one where you took me to the cliff. You said you did something. What did you do Cade?" Hope flashed in her eyes, was she expecting it to be a good thing and not merely the fact that I had planned out how to break her apart piece by piece?
"I- it wasn't anything you would understand E." I felt a pain in my chest again, pinging deep in me; a feeling of guilt and pity. Remorse.
"Oh." She sounded defeated. And I was the one who did it. I stepped close to her, bending onto my knees in front of her. I pulled her jaw gently up to mine and placed a soft kiss on her lips. The softest I've ever placed on another woman.
I was a man of roughness, assertiveness, I needed submission. I didn't care for that sentimental shit. In fact the thought of it would normally make me nearly throw up from disgust. But with her it was necessary. It was like everything in my body had been pulled to her by a magnetic force, calling to me in ways I didn't know were possible.
As if she needed me just as much as I needed her. The kiss sped up, my tongue gravitating towards her cautiously; savoring every moment of this intimate kiss. Intimate. Fuck no. I don't do intimate. I pulled away harshly. Hurt washed over her face as expected, she was so damn sensitive holy fuck.
"I'm sorry did I- did I do something?" She stumbled over the words coming from her mouth. Only she had not done something, I had. I had gone beyond boundaries that I've fought my whole life to stay inside. I didn't do slow with women, I did meaningless. I didn't have passion, I had anger.
"Fuck. No, shit I'm sorry. This is just a fucked situation. How the hell are you doing this to me? What the fuck do you know about me?" I realized the growing volume of my voice as she backed away from me, fear clouding her irises.
"I don't know Cade. I'm sorry. I swear I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you, please don't hurt anyone. It's my fault; you can hurt me." What the fuck? She thought I'd hurt her? After all this shit of me not being able to fucking touch a hair on her perfect head- and she still thinks I'm gonna fucking snap and kill her.
She would never see me for more than a monster who threatened her family and was now holding her captive. But I didn't give a shit, all that remorse and all that guilt disappeared. She saw a monster? I'll give her one hell of a fucking monster to deal with.
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[ okay this update took me soooo long!! I could not figure out the words I needed to use to explain what was happening. And I also figured a Cade perspective was in order :)
Thank you guys so much again for all the reads and love! I truly am blessed. I am going into full writing mode right now and working on a new chapter! Thanks guys! <3 ]