A few hours after all of the students of Hogwarts had left the building to go meet their families, you got tired and decided to go to bed. You held your favourite book in your hand and read it for a while, it was the best way to help you sleep. Finally, after you had felt that you had read enough, you put the book away safely and lay in bed. Shutting your eyes, you tried to fall asleep.
But to no avail. You couldn't sleep. You had tried for over an hour but sleep wasn't in your destiny tonight. Yet, you also didn't want to read anymore, all you wanted was to sleep but you couldn't even do that. You lay awake on your back and stared at the ceiling. The room definitely was much more quieter now that it was just you in the room. You could get used to it.
Different, and unusual thoughts came into your head as the night progressed. And, of course, Draco was one of them. A specific thought persistently popped into your head, one that had been in your mind for weeks, ever since it first happened. You thought about what Draco had said to you that day, the dreaded day when everything was revealed to you. When you were "passed out" in his arms, in the rain, and he was speaking to you. He never knew that you were awake while he spoke to you, so he didn't know what you heard. You only wished he had the confidence to say the same things he said to you that night, to your face.
'I can't express how sorry I am'
'I love you, I love you so much'
'Whenever it was, I had fallen madly and deeply in love with you'
These thoughts rushed through your mind like a tornado. Did he really mean what he said back there? Part of you thought it was sincere. But the other part of you is telling you not to trust him. He had lied to you before. And yet your heart still raced when you thought about how he listed all the moments he felt like he was in love with you. Nobody had ever talked about you like that. Especially not the Draco Malfoy. It had been months since you first started speaking to him and yet you still felt inferior. Like he was out of your league. And he was. He was much better than you in every way. You wouldn't ever have had a chance with him anyways. You should be considered lucky that he even pretended to like you.
'I don't know why you even liked me'
"I still do.." you whispered to yourself. A tear rolled down your cheek, since your thoughts were becoming very overwhelming for you. But the first step to overcome this, was to come to terms with your feelings. Yes, you still liked him. Even after all he did to you. But you couldn't help it. You didn't want to like him, but that's what your heart felt. You wanted to scream and shout at him, and hate him forever, but you just couldn't. Perhaps it was because you had created a bond with him, fake or not. He had told you so many things that nobody else knew about him. He confided in you. And, to you, it felt real. It all felt very, very real.
-
The next morning, you woke up groggily and realised you had slept in quite late today. Atleast you were able to sleep for longer now that it was the winter break. You crawled out of bed and walked to the bathroom, and noticed how puffy your eyes were from crying yourself to sleep last night. Quickly, you brushed your teeth, freshened up, and changed your clothes into something more warmer. It was still snowing, so you wanted to go and enjoy it.
You hopped down the empty staircase and walked into the great hall. Of course, it was completely empty, but it felt nice. You saw an elf, and asked if they could make hot chocolate for you, since you were the only person there. The elf came back with hot chocolate for you and you thanked them before leaving. You walked merrily to the courtyard and stood outside in the snow. After a snowfall, the world always seemed to be much quieter than usual. You loved the peaceful silence. You removed the snow from a bench and sat on it, trying to ignore the fact that the bench was absolutely freezing.
You sipped your hot chocolate and watched as small snowflakes slowly fell from the sky. The tip of your nose began turning red from the cold. You watched your breath every time you exhaled. The world was brightened with the snow, and you felt much happier about being here alone. Previously, you didn't know how you would manage, but now it seemed like it would be a good break.
You thought about your friends. Were they home by now? Had they met their families already? You wondered if they were having fun at home. Had the twins ate their mothers food like they wanted? Did Zach sleep all day like he said he would? Had Draco safely gotten home?
Draco? Where did he come from? You thought to yourself. Why had you suddenly thought about him. And why were you worried for him... You quickly sipped your hot chocolate, trying to forget about that. A beautiful, large snowflake landed on your arm. You held your arm closer to your eyes so that you could take a better look at it. It was breathtaking. Each intricate design was so perfect. You held out your hand to try and catch snowflakes, a few landed in your hand but as you brought it close to your face, they melted from the heat of your hand. Why do we try to catch snowflakes with our hands when we know they'll melt anyways? Maybe it's the happiness it brings while you're trying to catch them. Or maybe it's the hope that they may not melt.
You sighed and leaned back on the bench. "Room for one more?" A soft voice spoke. Startled, you looked up and saw someone standing there. Someone you couldn't have even predicted to see here. "Draco... what are you doing here" you asked. You were still shocked to see him here. You thought you were the only student there. "Can I sit here?" He asked. You nodded your head. He sat down and exhaled. "My parents told me last minute that I can't come home this break, they said they'd be out. Why are you here?"
"My parents said the same..." you murmured. Of all the people, it had to be him, didn't it? He just had to be the one who stayed behind.
"Why are you here though. Like out here, with me" you asked. You didn't turn to look at him, you stared forward at the snow. "I didn't know anybody else was here, so when I saw you, I thought I could accompany you" he explained.
"Who said I wanted your company? Who said I wanted you to come up to me? After all that you did to me, you still have the gall to speak to me and interact as if nothing happened?" You almost shouted. He hung his head in shame. "Why, Draco. Why did you do it" you turned to look at him, tears in your eyes. He looked into your eyes. All he could remember was the same face you made when he had hurt you. He didn't know how to respond. He didn't think he had the right to speak to you and possibly make it worse. It was a mistake for him to come here. What was he thinking.
"I'm sorry Y/n, I'm sorry for letting you down. But please, please let me just explain, okay?" He pleaded. You wanted to hear his explanation, so you allowed him to continue. "At the start of the year, Crabbe and Goyle had placed a bet, that if I could make a girl fall in love with me, they would do something stupid for me, whatever it was. There wasn't a specific person we targeted. I actually chose you..." he explained. Your face turned sour at his words. He chose to do this to you? How was he making this any better? "No y/n please listen to me first! I chose to do it to you, because I didn't want to do it anybody else. Maybe it was because I wasn't interested in doing it with anyone else, or maybe it was because I genuinely wanted to become closer to you. Whatever the reason was, I managed to make you get closer to me. But, as the bet continued, I didn't want to do it anymore. I... I started to feel real feelings for you.. hence why I told everyone that I lied, standing on the table at lunch, when I said you slept with me... which I'm still sorry for by the way. The bet had me doing all sorts of crazy things, I know. And it was so so wrong of me for turning you into my little pawn, just for a stupid bet. But things became so good between us, that I just didn't want to tell you that it was a bet. I was too scared that you would leave me, like you did. And when you found out about it, I felt terrible. I couldn't even look at you. I wanted to beat myself up for being such a dick to you. You don't deserve anything like that, you deserve someone better than me, someone who will treat you kindly, and shower you with the love you deserve. I know you won't know this, but when you fainted, I held you for one last time, and told you how sorry I was. I truly lost myself then." Your eyes softened as he told you these things.
"I do know" you interrupted. He looked at you, confused. "I know how sorry you are. I know what you said that day. Draco, I was awake. I had woken up briefly and heard your words. And... as much as it hurts for me to say it, you sounded sincere... you sounded like you really were sorry" he became even more confused as you spoke. "I know you're sorry. I know you didn't mean for it to go on like that. I know all of this, but why can't I just forgive you" you broke down in tears and cried. Draco hesitantly held your head closer to his body, and pulled you to his chest. He softly stroked your head as a few tears left his eyes too.
"I'm sorry Draco" you whispered. He pulled you slightly away from him and asked, "sorry for what? Y/n, you have nothing to be sorry for. This is all my fault."
Between sobs, you spoke. "I'm sorry for not forgiving you sooner. Truth is, I can't stop thinking about you. I can't stop thinking about how great I felt when I was with you. I don't care if it was fake or not. I can't live without you" you hugged him tightly. He chuckled in disbelief, and sniffled his tears away. "Wait, do you really mean that?" He asked. You pulled away from him and held him by the arms, looking at his face. "Draco, look me in the eyes and tell me what you want to say. Tell me what you want to say and I'm yours. Just say the word" you demanded. Your eyes were still red from the tears.
"I love you. I love you so so much y/n" he spoke without hesitation. You swiftly grabbed the back of his head and pulled him in, and harshly kissed his lips. Your swollen lips from previously crying crashed with his. You kissed him like there was no tomorrow, he held your cheeks with both hands and pulled your face closer. The space between the two of you closed immediately. The heat from your bodies clashed with the cold from the snow. He cried tears of joy and you laughed into the kiss. You pulled away and stared at his face and smiled as brightly as you could. You cupped his face in your hands and placed your forehead on his. "I love you too Draco" you whispered.