Blue Skies | Bright Vachirawit

Chapter 22

Blue was discharged from the hospital after the doctors assured that she's safe to go home. Her medical examinations were all clear and no signs of abnormality. The doctors advised her not to tire herself too much nor to force herself to remember her memories. She should be careful with her head as well because the stitches might open up if she's too wriggly.

As for her memories, she always had episodes of painful headaches. Blue described the pain like her head was being ripped apart, she could also visualize quick scenarios inside her head but she couldn't understand what it was. Bright wasn't the first one Blue wanted to call after she came home-- it was P'Moon.

P'Moon was currently at the Noppachorn's residence, he came straight to their house after his football practice. "I miss watching your practice, P'Moon." Blue blurted out. Honestly, the Blue that I'm dealing with right now is way different than before. When Bright came back to town, Blue seemed distant towards me and her focus was on Bright, but now her focus is on me again. P'Moon was confused.

"Yeah, but you stopped watching my practice this year because you have your band practice now." Blue's mouth formed a small 'o'. "Am I good at singing?" She asked. P'Moon nodded. "Yeah, I watched you perform before. I was mesmerized." He chuckled. He tried to act like it's a happy memory for him, but the truth is he was heartbroken that time.

"You're just fooling me, P'Moon. You didn't compliment me like that before." She joked around. Yeah, I wish I did. Maybe you fell for me instead. "Sorry, I'll make it up to you now." He smiled, with a little bit of hope in his heart that maybe.. he could turn things the other way around now that Blue still couldn't remember Bright.

"Do you want to stay for the night, Moon?" Mr. Noppachorn asked. P'Moon looked at Blue who's now giving him puppy eyes. "Gosh, how can I resist you? Alright, uncle. I'll sleep over." Blue clapped her hands and mouthed 'yes'. I wish we're like this forever. P'Moon thought. "We have a lot to catch up, Phi." Blue said excitedly, P'Moon nodded in return.

After they ate dinner, the two went to Blue's room and decided to watch a movie. "It's been a while since we did this." He said while putting in the DVD. "Really? Why is that so?" She asked while curling up inside the blanket. "Let's just say.. some things changed between us." I don't want her to remember the bad things that happened.

"Oh..yeah, I remembered you told me that the two of you like me. But, who's Bright exactly and why can't I remember him?" I'm so stupid for opening up this topic. P'Moon sighed. "The doctor said you forgot your memories from a year ago or two. Bright is your childhood friend who just came back to town this year, so that explains why you can't remember him at all."

"So, I hung out with him most of the time?" P'Moon nodded. "Wait, I thought you missed me? Why are we talking about Bright now? You can hang out with him next time and ask him questions. Focus on me now, alright?" He changed the topic. Blue pinched his cheek. "There, there. Don't sulk now, I'll stop talking about him." She smiled and faced the TV. After the movie was finished, Blue laid in bed. P'Moon did the same and kept the distance between them.

"You know.. I'm really curious about what happened to me, why I got hospitalized, why I forgot my memories.. but I'm scared as well because I might visualize it in my head and I don't think I could sleep after that." Blue blurted out. "It's too early to know about that, Blue. It's a bad memory, I don't want you to remember it again." P'Moon squeezed her hand.

"Did I do something bad?" She asked with a hint of tiredness in her voice. "No. Some people were just envious of you. They're a bunch of psychos but don't worry, they already got their sanctions. It's better that you don't remember them. Why? Did you have flashbacks about it?" She shook her head. "No, my flashbacks are different."

"Like what?" I'm kinda scared. If her memories of Bright came back, it's over for me. "There are scenarios of people fighting, I'm crying, and I'm going on trips." Fighting? Maybe it's me and Bright? "Did you see their faces?" He clarified. "The faces were still blurry. I also couldn't hear the voices. I'm confused, do you have a clue about it?" P'Moon shook his head and lied.

Unless everything became clear in her memories, I'll hold on to the fact that she needs me now. "Maybe, I'll give it some time." After that, silence filled the room. "Hey, so what if the time comes and you have to choose between me and Bright. Who do you think it would be?" I'm dumb for asking this question but I just want to know if there would be a change of answer.

"What kind of question is that? Of course, I'll choose you." P'Moon smiled bitterly. She chose me, but why do I feel pain in my chest? She clearly has no idea of what she's saying. Hearing that would make me happy if she hasn't lost her memories. "What if you remember all of your memories about Bright, are you sure you're still gonna pick me?"

"P'Moon, you knew something, am I right?" She squinted her eyes. "Alright, alright. I know I couldn't hide it from you." Why am I doing this again? Am I making a way for Bright? Or did I just accept defeat? "Did I choose him.. instead of you?" P'Moon couldn't respond. "I.. really don't know. You told me before you don't like him, but your actions say otherwise."

"I don't understand." P'Moon chuckled. "You don't have to, for now.. once you regain your memories, you'll understand.. but I have to ask you something.. more like a favor." P'Moon seemed hesitant. "Oh, sure.. what is it?" I just want to be selfish for a short period of time. I just want to give myself happiness even if it's half-hearted. P'Moon suppressed his tears.

"Can you.. choose me over Bright? Until you haven't regained your memories?" Blue furrowed her brows. "But, why? What really happened, P'Moon?" Yeah, I'm desperate. I'm fucking desperate even for that 0.5 percent of affection from her. I just want to experience being chosen by you, Blue. Even if you aren't aware of your true feelings.

"Please.. Blue? Just until you haven't regained your memories.." He pleaded once again. Blue sighed. "I can't understand you but alright. Don't be sad, P'Moon. Come here." Blue opened her arms wide to welcome him into a hug. P'Moon didn't hesitate and hugged her back.

This feels warm. I'm happy with this. I'm alright with what's happening right now. "Shh. Don't cry, P'Moon. This is the first time I saw you cry." P'Moon broke down into tears as soon as he buried himself inside her arms. He knew that all of this is temporary and sooner or later after Blue recognized her true feelings, he would be left alone again. "I'm just happy, Blue. I'm alright, don't worry."

He wiped his tears after he broke the hug. "Sleep now, I'll be watching you. You need more rest." P'Moon suggested. Blue nodded and followed his command. "Alright, how about you? You can sleep with me." She looked up. "I'll wait for you to fall asleep, then I'll sleep next." Blue nodded. "Good night, P'Moon."

P'Moon smiled as he stroked her hair. "Good night, Blue." He sighed. I already knew it from the start, even if the battle had just begun, I'm already defeated. No matter what happens, I know that the person inside her heart is not me, and it will never be me.