Comfort in Silence // dnf

Dinner for Two

Clay continued to stare at the words. They were sent through text, but knowing George as long as he did, he knew how much emotion was carried behind them.

He sat up straight, placing his hands on the keyboard to type, but after starting a sentence he immediately hit the backspace and started over. And again. And again.

He couldn't figure out the words that he wanted to say, he had resolved to tell him tomorrow. What difference would a few hours make? He looked back at the messages, and then at Georges username. He thought out a paragraph before actually typing it and he prepared himself for the worst as he typed it out in the message box.

"You didn't do anything, I'm sorry. But there is something I need to tell you. Message me back when you can." He looked at the small paragraph a few times over before sending it with a pang of regret. He watched the screen, waiting for a response. It was late for George so there was a chance he had already gone to bed for the night, but maybe he had stayed up in hopes of a response from Clay.

He watched as Georges online status changed from offline to online and he braced himself for the conversation ahead. Was he really this scared to tell George about something so normal to him at this point? Why would he be mad about Clay not telling him, it did seem fairly obvious that he didn't talk whenever George joined him and Nick in a call and he would mute. Maybe it really did seem like he was ignoring him. Like George had actually done something wrong like he assumed.

Clay stared at the lines indicating that George was typing. He waited in anticipation as the lines were quickly replaced with his friends message.

"Yeah, what's up?" The text was seemingly harmless, but he still had this irrational fear of what George would think.

"Don't get mad at me please." He pleaded through the text. He didn't wait for a response and started his paragraph, explaining everything to his friend. "There's no way to say this casually, especially since we've known each other for so long. I'm a selective mute, who I talk to isn't something I can control per say, and if I could talk to you I would, I really would. I don't know if it would make you feel better but even my mom gets the "silent treatment" . Something happened when I was younger, and the psych doctor said that its some form of PTSD, I'm trying to get better but its hard, I hope you understand and I'm sorry for not explaining sooner."

He didn't even look at it before sending. At this point there was no going back. He just hoped that George would accept his answer and not pry about what happened, or why he only spoke to Nick.

He watched as the response was in progress, the three little dots rippling on the screen as Clay waited in anticipation. Then the message sent, showing a short little message in response.

"Really?! That makes so much more sense! I thought I did something that hurt you." George replied, Clay looked confused at the message, obviously expecting an earth crushing message in response. He sighed in relief looking back over the message.

"Well now I feel bad but if you wanna talk I'm here." Clay hadn't even noticed his friend was typing and he read the cute little message. He made himself worry for no reason, and he realized that he didn't deserve George as a friend. He replied with a little thank you and relaxed back into his chair. The relief he felt was indescribable but how would they move forward from there?

Telling George wouldn't change the fact that he still couldn't talk to him in a VC. He was still mute even though one more person knew about his secret. He knew sign language, but that didn't mean George could interpret it, and that would also mean a video call. George had never seen his face before, was he really about to expose two secrets for George?