Mist Of Hearts

EPISODE 9

"Where the hell were you? It's almost one AM!" Zoe asks with a concerned look. Blaire and the others follow behind and start launching endless questions at me.

"Why aren't you answering the phone?" Blaire interrogates.

"I.. dropped it at the club and couldn't find it," The sobs are stifled but a few of 'em manage to escape.

"What the hell is wrong with your leg and where are your boots?" Paige freaks out. I'm not ready for this. Not today. Everything is wrapped around my head and this talk will only make it worse.

"I'm really tired. Can we talk later? It's nothing big." Yeah, nothing big just got kissed forcefully while I was dreaming of my enemy and then got dragged to the cop-station.

"What do you mean it's not big-" Zoe begins but Blaire cuts her off, "Let's give her some time."

Blaire has detected something but I'm not sober enough to cover it up. With heavy steps, I walk up to my room. My emotions aren't under control, they're all over the place. I'm sad, tired, drunk, confused but mostly angry. Taking out the antiseptic liquid from my lower drawer, I sit by the bed and try cleaning the wound.

"Crap!" The liquid burns against my scraped skin and the tears start forming again. 'You won't have me around always' These words keep coming back, taunting me that I'm weak. I press the cotton against my skin, trying to forget these words. But nothing happens. Taking a deep ragged breath, I attempt to focus on bandaging my leg but the way my hands shiver, the bandage keeps slipping off.

"Just stay!" I scream at the bandage and try again.

"Wrap it around, then rotate it gently-" I whisper the steps to myself and focus on my voice. Almost there, Aurelia! 'Learn to fight!' And the bandage falls open again.

"Ahhhh!" I annoyingly exclaim and roughly tie the bandage around my knee. Everything in this room feels ready to break. I avert my eyes, hoping to find something to destroy. The lamp won't be good enough, not my family photo frame at any cost. Neither can I damage my flash drive since it has my assignments. Just why?! Why am I being like this? This is not me! My face is warm due to the tears and I'm worn-out. Both physically and mentally. But the anger galoring won't let me sleep. All of this is because of JJ Quentin and Oliver Brosnan! I should play havoc with them! Pulling out a pair of scissors and taking JJ's credit card, I start cutting it haphazardly. There's no way you can destroy a monster without turning into one! I hate everything! This card! This bandage! These scissors that won't cut fast! My stupid self! The thought of JJ! Oliver Brosnan! EVERY FUCKING THING! I almost chop the card into half but then pull apart the rest of it myself. Stomping into the balcony, I fling the card hard against the parapet and yell, "FUCK OFF JJ!!"

Then, with the last bit of energy left in me, I take a quick shower and fall asleep.

At work, my mood is not so great and my eyes are still puffy. My throat hurts. I feel like a goddamn zombie. Detecting something, Kayla switches places with me. I work in the kitchen whereas she takes the billing counter. Oliver's not here and I'm glad.

"Two black coffees!" Kayla reads out and looking around, I realize that she's addressing me. I give her a gloomy thumbs up and start working on it. 'Coffee powder, sugar, water' I recall its ingredients and for a split second imagine myself cursing whosoever asked for it.

"You good?" Hayden comes next to me as he picks the sugar jar.

"Blah!" I remark.

"Umm.." He stutters but doesn't say anything. I give him a look before getting back to mission 'Black Coffee'. 'It's over now, Aurelia. Move on!' my inner voice keeps giving me this pep talk. Walking over to the shelf, I take two plastic cups and notice that Hayden's behind me. I raise my brows in question but he shakes his head and I walk back to where the water's boiling. Hayden's beside me once again. Firmly setting the cups on the counter, I turn to Hayden and fold my arms, "What is it?"

He hesitates before saying, "I...I fucked up."

"Okay... what did you fu...umm mess up?" I don't curse often but when it comes to JJ Quentin, rules don't apply. For example, last night.

Hayden doesn't reply, instead starts fidgeting with the keys in his hand. This is awkward...

"I think we should talk later," sensing awkwardness, I turn back around and pour the black coffee into the cups. What does he wanna talk about? Is he crushing on me? He was either blushing or embarrassed while talking. 'Don't flatter yourself. Not everyone around is crushing on you,' my inner voice rolls eyes at me. True though, whoever falls for me is either psychotic or a daredevil. 'That's dude's gonna be dumb,' sometimes I feel as though my inner voice is not mine. It's always opposing me.

"We need to talk now. It's important!" Hayden rather screams which sends the black coffee in my hands, on the floor. He immediately apologizes and requests Juhi, another employee to start working on the same order before pulling me aside.

"Uh..." Here it goes again!

"Hayden...just say it!" I grit my teeth. It feels like Paige is talking to Theo and he's stuttering!

"So.. its..." He rubs the back of his neck before adding, "it's about Oliver and you."

Oliver and me? Memories from last night flood my mind. Kissing, Fighting, screaming, drinking, dragging, the credit card. It was... Intense.

"What about me?" My voice is barely a whisper but Oliver's name doesn't come out.

"The news I spread..." He starts fidgeting again.

"Was it false?" I add and he looks down confirming my words. "But it's not anything personal. I...I heard it wrong," He abruptly answers but I'm way too confused trying to understand what I'm thinking. Hayden continues explaining himself but I'm not there anymore. He didn't say it but what he did last night still hurt me. I don't drink and he got me drunk, he knows how insecure I am about getting close to anyone but despite that, he kissed me. Hayden's wrong, but Oliver's not right either. 'Mistakes are the ones that can be forgiven but once it crosses the line you've drawn, it's crime,' A Mr.Hanks quote pops up in my head reassuring me that I shouldn't be forgiving him. Kissing me without permission is beyond the boundaries I've created and THIS IS CRIME. Crime, in my world. The world where I set my rules, the world where I have every right to question what you do to me, the world where I'm in charge, and the world where the only boss is Aurelia Blue Taylor.

"It's still not gonna change anything. But it's brave of you to admit your fault!" Giving him a wry smile, I get back to work. Somehow, this lifts my mood and I'm back to myself. I re-switch places with Kayla and think of all good things- Christmas is close and what's closer is thanksgiving. I'm not going home for Thanksgiving but I'll definitely be there for Christmas. Most likely, I'll get my own bike by then. This year, we'll celebrate like the old times- extended family and friends, visiting Santa with my little cousins, hot chocolates, ice creams in winter, movie nights, and dad's favorite roasted turkey.

"Guys, We should decorate this cafe for Christmas! After all, it's our workplace right?" Pierson suggests towards the end of the work shift.

"Great idea!" Hayden exclaims before adding, "But I'm broke." This sends all of us crackling with laughter before Carl walks in and silence falls over.

"I was thinking..." Carl averts his eyes around the cafe and says, "we could bring in some Christmas vibes here."

"Yes!" Hayden whisper-screams and all of us give each other a thumbs-up behind our backs before turning to Carl. Pierson puts forward some ideas of Christmas decorations which reminds me of Zoe. She loves transforming places and has created a quote, 'We don't transform places, we transform people's perspective.' Sounds like Mr.Hanks right? Well, that's where she got inspired. After Carl discusses our pay and a few other instructions, we head back home.

The atmosphere is beginning to feel like Christmas, shops have started to put up their decorations, red, green and white colors are more noticeable, the wind is chilly and on the opposite side of the road, people are setting up a stage which I believe is for 'the nutcracker' play. No matter how modern we get, how fast we advance in our technologies, some things remain the same for good.

Humming a Christmas carol, I knock on our front door since as usual, I forgot the keys but who cares! It's Christmas! Not yet, but soon!

The door opens and detective Blaire folds her arms, "We need to talk!"