16) One time, all the boys decided to go see Hamilton. To put a long story short, Damian ended being dared to sing 'Obedient Servant' at one of the Galas, much to Bruce's horror, and Tim and Jason's complete pleasure.
17) Jason is known to make death jokes all the time. He would rock up at the Manor, with a 'I died once. I got over it' tee. But what you didn't know though, was that he made 'dead parent' jokes as well. Once, in the Batfam group chat, he was feeling particularly pissed that day, so he went on the chat texting, 'Wanna see an impression of all of your parents?', then proceeding to leave the chat. No one appreciated this joke.
18) Bruce had a private journal (Yep, that right Batman had a diary, like a teenage girl), where he would be writing everything and nothing. He wrote pages of his sons titling them Richard 'Too Happy Acrobat', 'Jason Angry Geek Todd-Wayne', Timothy 'Tired Coffee Addict Genius' Drake-Wayne and Damian 'Smol Assassin Child' Wayne. When the boys found out they were absolutely livid. (Except Tim. Because he knew it was all true).
19) Bruce did not have a favourite child. Dick, he was the first child he adopted, he would always have a special place in his heart. Dick was his happy, compassionate son. But Jason, that's the first person who ever made him laugh. A real laugh. Jason was also the fist to call him 'dad'. Jason was his stubborn, rebel son. Tim, though, Tim, he never gave up. He was stubborn, a genius, and really, was like Bruce in some ways, but Tim used it to his advantage (and never going into the darkness, like Bruce has), even though he still needed to be reminded to take care of himself. Tim was smart, stubborn son. Damian, he was the biological child. He was loyal to his family. He was strong, and secretly loved his brothers, and would do anything to protect them all. Damian was his loyal, always-pleasing son.
20) In the middle of a Justice League meeting, a cow strolled up into the room, mooing like crazy. The Leaguers went crazy, trying to figure out who this cow was and how it got there. Well, all Leaguers except Batman. He said 'Hi Batcow. Where's Damian?'. Batcow mooed in response before Damian also walked in, holding two cats, and a turkey following. Batman smiled before it morphed into a small frown. 'Isn't one of those cats Tim's?' Damian simply shrugged and nodded. Seeing Batcow, Terry the Turkey, Alfred the cat and Francisco (Tim's cat) were now a common occurrence.
21) Once, Jason made the mistake of saying to Bruce 'I hooked up with Talia once'. Why, you ask? Because Damian, was also at the door. He went ballistic, shouting 'how dare you defile my mother!', and lunging. Let's just say, Jason made sure not to mention that anymore.
22) 'Bleeding out in an alleyway. Send help' was a common text in the Batfam groupchat. One time, Damian was at school, and his phone was confiscated from having it off silent, and the notification going off too many times. The teacher nearly fainted when she saw the text 'Im bleeding out in alleyway no time for grammar send help please' from Tim. She handed the phone back to Damian, who just rolled his eyes at the text. The teacher never confiscated it again.
23) The League was shocked to silence, when on patrol with the Batfam. There was so many. But no only that, but some were actually smiling! Red Hood had once again won rock paper scissors, yeeting Red Robin off the building, yelling 'BYE FELICIA', Tim proceeding to yell, 'fuck you Bethany!'. Hal was terrified when they all laughed, whispering to Barry 'they're laughing! They're going to kill me! I'm going to die!'
24) Jason has a TikTok account dedicated to pranking his family (@toddster_pranks). He would press start on the video, just as his brother/dad/anyoneinhiswarpath fell into one of his traps. The one that got the most likes and views, was a video captioned 'don't try this at home'. It was when he had made Tim follow him onto the roof, because he had previously put oil on it. Tim (in his sleep deprived state) had immediately slipped off the room yelling 'fuck you Bethany!'. Jason was too busy laughing his ass off to realise he had also slipped. Just as he slipped, he yelled 'fuck!' then proceeding to fall into the pool with Tim.
25) Tim was ranting about something that Dick had done, Jason was nodding, taking a sip of his tea. Up until Tim said, 'I can't believe he thought I was a virgin! I was a stripper for an undercover mission for 3 months!'. Jason spit out his drink, and promptly froze. 'Jason?" Tim had asked, receiving no answer. Jason.exe had stopped working.
26) There's a hashtag on twitter, #imtellingbatman. This is when civilians catch the other heroes doing something wrong and/or slacking off. For Damian, it's usually him patting all the animals in the middle of a chase. For Tim, it's usually being passed out on the roof. For Jason, it's usually texting and in the idle of setting up on a prank. For Dick, it's usually just selfies of him smiling with his fans.
27) One time, Tim and Bruce were watching TV. A story came on saying, 'Timothy Drake called an idiotic, bitch by Red Robin after he was called a useless bastard'. Tim yelled, 'fuck you too, you useless piece of shit!'. Bruce looked back and forth at the TV and his son, shaking his head. How? Just, why?
28) Jason, Tim and Damian once had a competition on who could make as many vine references in a day. Tim won, of course, because he Is the meme/vine king. It was 69 (Tim) to 57 (Damian) to 52 (Jason).
29) Tim has the most followers on TikTok (his main account), because he posts pranks, memes, and sometimes dances (one time he posted a thirst video, as per a dare from Jason. He got a lot of likes and follows from that one). Jason has the second most followers on TikTok, because he posts pranks, trends and spills embarrassing things about the Wayne Family. Damian posts videos with a I don't care-attitude, and the viewers love it. He appears on the other TikToks as well, most of the time pulling the middle finger in the background.
30) Damian walking into the kitchen, seeing Jason eating waffles at 3:33am (he lived!). Damian sighed before asking, 'why didn't you just steal two tires off the Batmobile, Todd. You would've gotton away with it'. 'Because I was a greedy little bitch'.
Bonus:
31) Damian and Tim once gave a synchronised glare at a Wayne Enterprises employee. It was so angry the employee peed their pants :).
