NEVER MIND love

Chapter 13

June 1, 2020

I have been avoiding my family these past couple of weeks unsure of how I will explain my situation. My brother has texted me several times since I moved in but I've been careful not to give anything away. I was waiting for our next visit to tell my family the truth. In reality I wanted to see how things would work out living with Yoongi and how he would act before I broke the news to my parents. But hearing my phone ring this morning and seeing my brother's face on the screen has really given me a reality check. I can no longer keep up this act. I don't like lying and specially not to my family who has been so supportive all this time. I don't know how my parents will feel about Mia being Yoongi's daughter but I know my brother won't be happy. I am thankful Yoongi left early this morning to go work on his studio and he won't be here for the very difficult conversation. I am all alone in the apartment and this is the perfect moment to just confess everything. 

I look at the smiling picture of my brother and my nerves make me take a deep breath before answering. "Hello" I say taking a seat on the living room couch. I need to be comfortable for what I know is coming.

"Hello little sister, how are you?" I hear Bong speak and his voice is a sweet reminder of home and family. "How is Mia?"

"I am good and Mia is growing everyday" I say and I wish he could see my smile.

"so.." he says and the silence between his words feels awkward. "Why have you been avoiding me?" he asks and I can feel the disappointment in his voice.

"I.." I start to speak but I don't know how to say all I want to say. My brain is going in circles with every possible sentences I can form but I cant find one that does not end with Bong being upset.

"What's wrong Ara, you use to send us videos of Mia everyday and the last couple of days you stopped, you used to text me every night before bed to let me know you were back at your apartment safe and you also stopped doing that about a week ago. I need an explanation" he demands and with each word I can feel how frustrated he is. I take another deep breath giving myself time to fix my thoughts but it does not work.

"I'm so sorry Bong, I am really sorry" I say and it comes out like a cry and nothing like I imagined it in my head. I wanted to be calm and collected but hearing my brother's voice has really messed with my emotions. I miss him so much and he has always been the one I turn to when I feel like there is no way out.

"Calm down Ara, please tell me what's wrong? Why are you acting so strange?" he pleads for answers and I can't take it anymore. I need to just let it out and deal with the consequences.

"I haven't sent videos or texted you because I've been staying with Mia's father for the last couple of days and I didn't know how to tell you." I say it all and even though I haven't said his name I feel somewhat of a relief.

"What?" Bong exclaims and I can hear his voice start to boil in anger. I stare at the phone unable to continue talking and after a second of silence I see that Bong has hanged up and is calling back to video chat. I am frozen in my spot unable to react. I don't think I can face him at this moment and I don't know how I will answer this call. I pride myself as an independent and fearless woman but today I feel like the 5 year old being scolded by her brother because she didn't come home before her curfew time. My biggest fear in life has always been seeing disappointment in my brother's eyes and today I am not ready for that. I look around the living room trying to find a reason why I would not answer him but even though I know I will experience the worse day of my life I am still that fearless girl and I will end up answering his call. I slide my finger on the phone and a second later I can see Bong. I notice he is outside the bakery and I think he is probably hiding from my father. I am sure he does not want him to hear our conversation and I am thankful since I can't take both of my favorite people be mad at me today.