NEVER MIND love

Chapter 17

Last night is still a blur, I don't know if  everything Yoongi said was real. He fell asleep right after and I was so tired that I didn't have the energy to question what happened. This morning I seem to be the first one up in the apartment and I have taken this quiet time to get ready. I haven't left the room so I am not really sure if anyone else is up but everything seems very silent. Mia and Yoongi are still in a deep sleep and I don't think they will be up for a while. I wish I could go back to bed but with everything that's going on with my family I haven't been able to sleep. Every waking hour I spend thinking about them and I know it's not healthy. I want to do what Yoongi suggested and give them time but it's hard for me. I have always been close to them and not being able to talk and see them has really affected me. I regret keeping Yoongi a secret since the very beginning, I should have never hid it from them specially after how understanding they were. They love Mia and I don't think they would change the way she came into this world even if they are not happy with the fact that her dad is Yoongi.

I stare at myself in the mirror and try to push my thoughts to the back of my mind. I have a busy day between getting the last touches of my assignment complete and hanging out with the girls. I don't know what the guys have planned for today or when they are going back to their homes but I want to spend some more time getting to know them since they seem to be opening to me more. The girls planned a lunch for later today combined with a in home spa day. Sun and Hae will be joining us and it's something I am looking forward to. I can't wait for Mia to be able to enjoy her first spa day and I know she loves being around the girls. She is very familiar with Hae, Min and Ella but last night Sun was her new friend. Sun was amazingly sweet with her and you can really tell that Sun has a little brother because she was very patient with Mia. I mean all the girls are wonderful with her and I am so glad these are my friends. I am truly surrounded by outstanding people. I always say that Mia is very lucky but in reality she is not the only one. Speaking of Sun, she promised she will bring her brother today so the girls and I can meet him. Ella was specially excited since she misses her nephews and she almost teared up when Sun showed her pictures of her 4 year old brother. He is the cutest with his long dark hair and big smile. His dimples are to die for and he reminds me a lot of young JK. I might be acting premature but I think Mia will love him and I cant wait to see them interact for the first time. Mia hasn't had a lot of experience with kids since she is always with me and she is too young for school. I am hoping she will get along with him and won't scare him away with her hyper side.

I finish getting ready after starting at myself for like what seems like an eternity. I decided to go with a very relaxed look with a baby blue sweatshirt and white pleaded mini skirt. This has always been my go to lazy day outfit and the sweatshirt is one of the softest things I own. The skirt is short but not short enough that it's uncomfortable. I wear my hair in a style that I haven't done in years with half of it in a bun. I look very youthful today and it's hard not to feel that way. I don't know why I smile at myself in the mirror or maybe I do. Last night was strange but I think it was what I needed to get out of my depression. I know things are not perfect right now but Yoongi's words brought me back to life last night.

I finish my minimal makeup look just in time when I hear Mia start to wake up. I turn around to look her way and notice she is standing on her crib watching me with the biggest smile that probably matches mine. I unconsciously look at her dad who is still asleep and I move my fingers to my mouth to make a "shushed" sound and my smart daughter shakes her head and it makes me think for a second that she understands me. I walk towards the crib and pick her up to kiss her. I try to be as quiet as possible and I whisper "good morning". She smiles again and all my worries go away by just staring at her happy little face. I spend the next 30 minutes getting her ready for the day and after trying on different dresses we both decide on a blush pink ribbed long sleeve dress with matching hair bows. In reality I picked the dress and Mia only smiled when she was wearing this one. In my mind that means this is the one she likes. I put her hair in pony tails and for a moment I contemplate how long it has gotten and how big she is getting. Her birthday will be soon and I still can't believe she will be 2 in just a few months. Why is time going so fast? Why can't it stop and I can keep her this little for ever? I already know I will be a mess the day of her birthday. The mere thought of her being a year closer to eventually being a grown woman is not something I am ready for. She will forever be my little girl and no one will change that.