NEVER MIND love

Chapter 10

May 31, 2020

Again I open my eyes to a dark room but this time I remember where I am. I know I am in Yoongi's room and everything that happened earlier rushes through my mind. I reach my hand touching the spot next to me looking for Mia but I am surprised to touch an empty bed. I sit up quickly searching the room for my little girl and once my eyes adjust to the darkness I notice the crib. I take a deep breath when I see her little head moving as she turns to her side. She is fast asleep and it makes me thankful to know she is feeling better. My eyes wonder to the other side of the bed and I notice a sleeping Yoongi. I take a minute to look at both father and daughter and I smile thinking how identical they look when they sleep. I lie back down after the small scare and I try to close my eyes. I know once Mia is up again I won't be able to get any more sleep and I need to take advantage of this small window. I turn to the side of the crib to watch it before sleeping again and when my eyes wonder to Yoongi again I notice his eyes are open and it startles me.

"Did I wake you?" I ask fearing my sudden movements in the bed might have woken him up.

"Yes and No" he says with his typical blank expression that does not help me understand what he is thinking.

"What do you mean?" I ask confused by his complex words.

"You didn't wake me but the not having you next to me woke me up, once I didn't feel you I woke up" he says very matter of fact and I don't know what to do about his statement.

"Did you move Mia to the crib?" I ask changing the subject. I can't deal with his antics right now.

"Yes, she woke up about 20 minutes ago and I took her temperature and she was back to normal so I decided to move her since she probably missed her bed" he says and I can't believe I didn't feel my daughter wake up, I must have been exhausted to not feel her.

"Why didn't you wake me up" I say and I notice both of us are still laying down facing each other and none of us have made any movements to change positions, get up or even move farther away from each other.

"You looked very tired, plus we need to share the responsibilities of being her parent. I can't always lean on you, you also need rest" he says and it's hard for me to believe his words after everything that has happened but seeing the sincerity in his eyes makes me think that some of his words have to be true.

"Thank you for letting me sleep" I say and for some reason this makes me shy. Knowing that I have physical and emotional support is something I am not use to have from him. I mean I had my family for most of Mia's life but it's not the same as having her father here to help me through her being sick.

"You look so beautiful that it was hard to wake you up" he says and I watch as his blank face is broken by a sweet smile. A smile I had seen before multiple times. A smile I have to admit I have missed.

"Yoongi please don't" I say wanting to avoid the subject of me and him as much as possible. I don't want to go down this rabbit hole with him. I don't want to talk about our painful past. I am afraid doing all this might hurt me even more than before. I try to look away from his face but I feel him move closer to my side of the bed and I turn to notice he is only inches away from my face and it takes me back to the first time we were together. The first time he kissed me in this same position.

"What are you doing?" I ask knowing damn well what his intentions are.

"I want to kiss you" he says without any hesitation and I have to admit I have also missed this side of him. The side that takes what ever he wants without permission. Where he doesn't care about what people think about him. These are the reasons I was madly in love with him and even though I don't want to admit it out loud they are the reason I still love him now. I stay frozen in place unable to say anything in response to his words. I just watch how he uses one of his hands to touch my face gently and how he leans his head further to be closer to my lips.