𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞-𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐱

twenty-three ~ secret heartache

    Love Potions are, of course, banned at Hogwarts, and no doubt Albus Dumbledore will want to investigate these claims. In the meantime, Harry Potter's well-wishers must hope that, next time, he bestows his heart on a worthier candidate.

     "I told you!" Ron hissed to Hermione. "I told you not to annoy Rita Skeeter! She's made you out to be some sort of- of scarlet woman!"

    I looked at Harry who was gawking at the magazine in my and Hermione's hand. He looked at me and just blinked stupidly. I smiled to stop myself from laughing.

     "Scarlet woman?" Hermione repeated, smiling. 

     "It's what my mum calls them," Ron muttered while his ears went red. 

     "Ah, reading magazines under the table, are we?" Snape said, snatching the magazine from our hands. "Ten points from Gryffindor. Oh, but of course....Potter has to keep up with his press cuttings."

     The dungeons filled with laughter from the Slytherins while Snape's mouth curled into a satisfied smirk. His eyes glittered over the article and he began to read it out loud. 

    "Harry Potter's Secret Heartache....dear, dear, Potter what's ailing you now? A boy like no other, perhaps-" 

     Snape continued while Harry and Hermione's faces turned red and they slumped into their seats- trying to hide from the eyes around the room. 

    I couldn't help my blood from boiling. Snape would pause after every sentence to allow the snakes to laugh at the ridiculing piece of writing.

     "...Harry Potter's well-wishers must hope that, next time, he bestows his heart on a worthier candidate.' How very touching," He sneered while rolling up the magazine. "Well, I think I had better separate the four of you, so you can keep your minds on your potions rather than your tangled love lives-"

     "Why? Because you don't have one?" I cut him off. 

     The room immediately fell silent as Snape narrowed his eyes at me. 

     "Does she remind you of a certain muggle-born?" I pressed. "Two boys wrapped around her finger...Remind you of anyone?" 

     Snape's eyes shone with anger and his jaw was clenched.

     As much as Snape will do in the future, it doesn't excuse all the bullying he does to the students that he's supposed to be teaching. Not tormenting. 

    Every time I think about how he was Neville's Boggart sickens me. Neville's teacher is his biggest fear. Not the woman who tortured his parents, not the world-known dark wizard, but his teacher.

     "Get out," Snape said, his tone only slightly louder than a whisper. 

    I looked at him and saw his eyes full of sorrow. I knew I should feel sorry but at the same time, I couldn't help but feel slightly satisfied.

    "You happened, Cassidy." Her voice echoed within my mind, a ruined Hogwarts flashing through my eyes.

    I gathered my things and walked out of the classroom without even glancing back at Snape. 

    I will not let her send me down into another spiral. No, no, no.

    My breathing quickened and I stumbled through the corridors. Just breathe, goddamnit!

    Tears prickled my eyes as I tried to control my breathing. In and out. In and out.

    I finally made it outside, the fresh air relieving some tension within my lungs. 

    Why, why, why?! Why can't I do anything right? Why did I do that to Snape? Why did I enjoy it!?

     I made it to the bench under the tree and felt a sob break out of my lips.

     I couldn't understand it. I was trying so hard to do everything right and somehow always manage to fuck it up. 

    Covering my mouth with my hand, I slumped down on the bench. Tucking my knees into my chest, I stared at the Black Lake and cried. 

     And as the tears fell onto my knees, I scolded myself for crying at all. 

     Weak, weak, weak.

     "You should've seen his face!" Ron exclaimed the next evening as we walked through the streets of Hogsmeade. "He was absolutely pissed!"

     "I've never seen him so angry," Harry added.

     We were holding bags of food for Sirius and making our way to High Street where we had planned to meet him. 

     After everything that happened yesterday, I didn't see the trio until after potions were over. My tears had run dry by then and I made sure to smile as we walked into charms, joking like my usual self. 

    I couldn't worry them about my stupid breakdowns over nothing. Why would I?

     Eventually, we made it to the end of the lane where a very large, black shaggy dog, sat. A rolled-up newspaper was stuffed between his teeth and his tail wagged consistently upon seeing us. 

    "Hey, Snuffles," I said with a smile. 

    "Hello, Sirius," Harry greeted. 

    Padfoot then sniffed Harry's bag eagerly for the food and turned around to trot further away. We followed him to the foot of the mountain, then up the mountain. 

     After a half-hour of climbing the steep rocky cliffs, we finally made it to a small cave to find Buckbeak tied to a large rock. His orange fierce eyes flashed at us and we all bowed to him. 

     He bowed back to all of us almost immediately, allowing me and Hermione to stroke his feathers.

    Once my Dad appeared out of his dog form, I rushed to hug him.

     "Sid!" He smiled. 

     "Hey, dad!"

     "I'm sorry, but," He pulled away and looked at me, "Food first"