Norah & Daniel

Chapter-39

The rest of the week was same. We didn't talk. No phone call, no text, nothing.

I did try to call him twice, only to find that he had keeping his phone switched off at all times.

I couldn't decide which was worse, when I saw him in school and he completely ignored me or when I came home and thought about him all day.

And I missed him. I missed his laugh, his voice, his warmth, his touch, everything.

I missed him when I woke up. I missed him when I saw him at school. I missed him when I didn't see him. I missed him when my dad asked me what was wrong. I missed him when mom came over to see me. I missed him when I thought about him. And I missed him when I tried not to think about him.

And the nights were the worst. No matter how much I tried not to, I did end up crying for hours about him.

I missed him. I missed Daniel a lot.

Every morning I looked like hell. I looked pale and sick. My throat had gone sore and my nose was blocked.

So both in and out I was in a bad state.

But that didn't seem to affect him. 

In fact, it was kind of scary how easy it was for him to ignore me. He didn't even have to avoid being in the same room as me to do it. He would look past me, and there would be absolutely no change on the look on his face. It remained blank.

Every time it managed to run a shiver down my body. The coldness that he had in his eyes.

And when I wasn't feeling like a damper in everyone's life, I was mad.

But, I didn't have an answer for it. Who was I mad at?

Daniel? Why, because he had finally realized that he didn't need me? That he wasn't going to just come around this time?

Or Nathan? Because he had left the same day, without saying anything?

He wasn't picking up his phone either.

Guess, everyone had found out that they were better off without me.

Maybe I was mad at myself. I was mad at myself because I wasn't the girl Daniel was actually in love with.

He had fallen in love with a girl he didn't know at all. He had created an image of a person who just had the same name and face as me.

And by chance, if he had in fact loved the real me eight years ago, then I wasn't that girl anymore either.

The girl he loved was somewhat of a nice person, who would have never hurt anyone, not the fake and lying damaged goods that I was now.

He was in fact smart to see that there was hardly anything in me worth loving anymore.

So, one week later, this was what I had reduced myself to.

Self loathing.

Awesome.

"Have you tried to go and talk to him in person?" Dr. Rae Fraser asked, settling back in her wingback chair.

Apparently, my psychiatrist and my father were having secret meetings of their own. He had told her all he could understand about what what actually happened with Daniel and me, so now I was stuck in her office answering questions for the past hour.

"I did," I answered, twiddling my thumbs. "He ignored me."

To elaborate that further, two days ago I had tagged along with Shay to the basketball practice after school thinking that maybe he would finally give me a chance to talk.