Sᴇʀᴇɴᴅɪᴘɪᴛʏ

24. Cʜᴇᴇᴋᴏᴏ, ʏᴀᴀᴀʀ!

ᴀ/ɴ : 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐨𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤. 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲, 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐦𝐬; 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐲, 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐬𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬; 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐝𝐥𝐲,  𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐚 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐩 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬, 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐡𝐨𝐰. 𝐒𝐨, 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐭, 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐞. 𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. 🤗❤️

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-Aᴠᴏɪᴅ ᴛʏᴘᴏs ᴀɴᴅ ɢʀᴀᴍᴍᴀᴛɪᴄᴀʟ ᴇʀʀᴏʀs-

Perhaps Jojo has fallen in love, and he almost deserves it. Maybe, at least, if for this reason, he becomes or tries to become a sensible human, no one would be happier than me. Seeing the mean and selfish jerk of a best-friend of mine develop some humanly traits in him would be a great deal, even if he falls in in love with someone els... erm, someone else. Someone else. He has fallen in love with someone else. And yes, I am happy that he has finally found someone, but I also feel strange about it. There is a weird ache in my chest, as I think of it - I feel anxious, insecure. Perhaps it is just this fear of having to share him with someone else acting up. It is also another fact that while I went on breaking all the barriers with him, I never thought that a day like this would come, and at some point, I will have to stop what I was loving to do. Last night, when he told me that he has fallen in love, I knew it was the end to us, and the nameless relationship of care, friendship, a lot more beyond it, and the passion, that we shared. He said that whatever he was speaking to Jane, he could not speak to me. Why was it? Why was it that I failed to ensure it to my best friend that we would be okay, no matter what he would speak to me. I am Jane, and Jane is me, but we are two different personalities in the same set of flesh and bones. Why could he not speak to me?

Moreover, I never thought that it would be her. Amayra. Out of everyone, he chose Amayra Suri? After this, I have understood that perhaps first love never really dies. It was hardly a day or two since he met her again, and he was in love. He knew that I was never fond of her - oh, yes, right, maybe that's why he did not tell me knowing that it would hurt me if he told me who he was in love with, or maybe, it was just that he didn't consider his best-friend important enough to tell her anything, or perhaps he thinks his best-friend to be incapable of being of any help.

But, why am I so affected?

It's not like he cannot fall in love with someone else; even if it has to be with Amayra. So what if he is my best-friend? He was never obliged to ask me before falling in love with someone. In fact, I should be happy that, at last, he found someone, but on the contrary, it's not what I feel. Since the moment I have heard the words that parted from his lips, I've, in fact, have been feeling a kind of nothingness fill up my insides. I have never felt this kind of an emotion before. It was new. It was painful. It was bothering. It felt like something so dear was being snatched from me. For the first time, the fear of having to share Jojo with someone else had struck me.

Why is it that I am so scared to lose him?

Last night, I knew I would lose my sanity if he spoke any further. For some reason, I could not hear anymore from him after he had said that he had fallen in love. The words were unbearable and I just wanted to hold him close to myself, immerse in his warmth, and never ever let him go - which, I do not know why I felt so. It was a gripping pain in the chest; a twitching emotion.