My hell my torture

Chapter 29

"Why Josh? You know what I'm going through. Give me one reason why I shouldn't banish you?"

"Because I'm your friend?" I crossed my arms at him and eyed him. "Okay, okay. I did it for your own good."

"My own good?" I questioned him.

"If I can be Frank, you need Eros, my queen. You have been a great leader, but the love in your heart is faint at best. You and Eros used to be in love. A love all the stars hoped to have. We know the sacrifice you had to make to save us, but we never thought you and Eros would fade away. He is your king and your match." I took a deep breath.

"Listen to me and listen to me good. My king is my choice. How I rule is also my choice. This will be the last time you make a choice for me without my say so. You are my friend and I understand your concerns and the concerns of my people."

"Your people are scared you will take the demon as your king," Josh said cutting me off. I sighed and walked out to my balcony. I watched my people. Living and loving each other.

"I would never do anything to hurt them. If I chose the demon to be my king, He would rule us well."

"Do you hear yourself? It's like you have already made up your mind." Josh snapped. I turned and looked at him and he looked to the ground.

"I have pushed them both away. I'm picking no one. I'm staying alone Josh. What don't you understand about that?"

" It's not that I don't understand that, my queen. It's just that we are the star guardians and our number one priority is love. If our Queen has no love in her heart what do we have to hope for?" I bowed my head and listen to his words. I knew my people were worried and I knew that they were scared, but I gave up what I loved for their best interest.

" I miss being human."

"What did you say?"

"It was easy being human, being me. I had a good life. A job that I loved. A cat I loved and a place of my own. I had no worries and lived as I pleased."

"You have to be kidding me, my queen." I turned and faced Josh.

"I'm not kidding you."

" What about the pain and suffering and the loss that humans have to go through?"

"I wasn't going through any of that." I knew Josh would never understand what I was saying. At that moment I was longing for my life back on earth. Even though I knew the guardians needed me. I was experiencing the suffering of being their queen.

"Do you still love Eros?" Josh asked and I just sighed.

"Yes."

"But you also love this demon?"

"Yes Josh, how many times do I have to say it? I feel like I have been torn in two." Josh just sighed and walked closer to me. He reached out his hand and placed it on my shoulder.

"You have to pick one." I looked up at him with shock on my face. "You're a wonderful queen and we don't want to lose you, but if you're a happy queen you would be that much more of a queen. Eventually, your pain is going to shine through your light. I know you think what you're doing is right by your people, but you need to do what's right by you. Pick one, no matter what one it is. You need to pick." He smiled at me and then left my room. I stayed on the balcony and just watched the stars dance. Then Eros walked by and he was alone. I wanted to know what he had done with Simone. Did he go to her and tell her the truth? Is he lying to her? Lying was not something Eros did. I was almost a hundred percent sure he told her the truth. He stopped and looked up at me. My heart hurt as memories of us flooded though my mind.