Chapter 36

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As much as Billy and I tried to hide in the quiet times, reality inevitably closed in on us. His life was getting increasingly loud, and I found myself riddled with anxiety. In his arms, I soothed myself with his heartbeat, but in public, we were strangers. It was what I wanted; it was the privacy he was desperately trying to protect for me, but the lies became our reality. Our quiet times were more and more like we were pretending.

I avoided his engagements for the rest of the week. I either stayed at the hotel or ventured out with Tim and Tess. It was nice to be with them. The air felt lighter, and breathing was easy. Without intention, Billy's presence included tension.

"Billy is going to be so pissed he missed this," Tim smiled as he circled a Tesla.

"We shouldn't tell him," Tess sympathetically offered.

"What? No way. I'm crowing about this for weeks," Tim shot back as he slid into the driver's seat. "It's just so cool."

"You all ready for a test drive?" The salesperson asked.

"More than anything in the universe." Tim was like a kid in a candy store or record store, as the case may be with him.

He spent forty-five minutes tooling around and giggling to himself. His excitement was infectious and caused Tess and me to laugh as well.

"Best day ever," Tim exclaimed as we piled into the hotel elevator. "You coming to the show tonight?" Tim casually asked as he leaned against the wall of the elevator and pulled Tess to him.

"No, I'm going to hit the books." It was a well-rehearsed conversation. "I'll see you all later," I waved as I headed to my room.

I expected the room to be empty as Billy would have left for the venue a couple of hours prior for soundcheck, but he was strumming from the edge of the bed when I entered.

"Hey," my greeting had a squeaky pitch from my surprise.

"Hey, you," he set his guitar aside.

"Everything okay?" I asked as he rose and greeted me with a quick and familiar kiss.

"Yeah, I just figured I'd come back here before we're on and have dinner with you, but then you weren't here," he explained.

"You should've called. I'd have come back earlier. Tim, Tess, and I went to test drive a Tesla in the Meatpacking district."

"What? No way." Billy's eyes enviously gleamed, and I had to smile at the joy Tim would get from this. "How was it?"

"Well, I guess I should correct myself. Tim test drove while Tess and I rode along. He giggled the entire time like a little kid on Christmas morning," I laughed.

"I think that's the only way to test drive a Tesla." He slumped back on the bed. "You hungry, or did you eat?" He pulled the room service menu to the end of the bed.

"Starved," I absently spoke as I joined him on the bed and reviewed the menu. It hadn't changed since breakfast. "I'll get the Caesar with grilled chicken. What about you?"

"Burger." He tossed the book aside and laid back so he could reach the receiver of the phone without actually standing.

"That is why your back hurts," I scolded as he stretched further to hit the button for room service.

"You're also the reason my back hurts," he teased with a lurid twitch to his eyebrow. He ordered and sat back up, pulling me closer. "I have to confess," his voice had dropped to his soothing tone; I wouldn't like his confession.

"Yeah," As I spoke, I let my head lean into the kiss he was giving to my temple.

"You were distant this morning, so I wanted to come to check on you."

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