But I'll Be Back Again

Chapter 15: Kiss Off, Will You?

"Wait, let me do it," he ordered but she was already trying to cover the hole with the tape, soaking her hair a little, Paul took a pair of scissors and went to help her at the back seat. They almost wasted all the tape, but in the end no more rain entered through it. "Thank you, that was a close disaster."

She fixed her hair, she had a dutch braid almost undone, "I know, I stopped all the rain with my hair,"

"Yeah, you did," he said and looked intently at her, and fixed the bangs on her, it was a sweet gesture that came out of nowhere, and surprised him.

Ella also felt confused, but tried to not seem alarmed, "Is there an empty box I could use?"

The hand that he had on her hair, went to her neck and pulled her to him for a kiss, he really paralyzed her, he even thought that she was holding her breath, he adventure to kiss her deeper, even though he could feel her heart racing. As he began to lean on her to place her under him, her lips began to quiver, he stopped kissing once he was lying on top of her and looked at her as if he was asking if it was ok, she simply smiled and his insisting lips continued the romantic embrace; he placed his hands on the sides of her face and gave her several quick and playful kisses all over it, making her giggle. Ella then grabbed his neck and kissed him passionately, luring him back. Paul, caressing her, took his hand to her hip, slowly placing it on her tight, that was just a bit exposed by the skirt. Feeling his hand on her skin, alerted her, so she stopped his hand and attempted to say something between kisses.

"What are we doing Paul?" She said, quietly and in short breath.

"What do you mean?" And kissed her again.

"I don't want to be, the one that brings you trouble," she said, and moved him, she sat straight again, looking directly to a confused Paul, who didn't want to stop the embrace and it was noticeable, when he took her hand and gave it a kiss.

"What are you talking about, silly?"

She stared at his hand holding hers, "I know there's something between you and Cleo, I saw you today."

Now he put both of his hands in hers, "Yes, but she's not my girlfriend again..." He panicked, "I meant that again I remind you what I told you that day at my house." He fixed his mistake of almost revealing his secret.

She looked annoyed looking at another direction, "that you kissed me out of pure curiosity?"

"No, no no...that I wasn't looking for a girlfriend, and she is not mine." He answered nervously.

She put her finger in her chin as if she were thinking and trying to solve a Sherlock Holmes mystery, "So, she's not your girlfriend but you are dating her.. and you kissed me just now, does she know that you're not interested in her?"

"It's not it, I mean we're young, and it's pretty silly to go and be strictly for one person, it is easier to just be," he saw that she was looking at him doubting, "believe me, it gets easier if we reckon that we're trying to figure out which one is better for us, than to be in a relationship and then messing it up,"

She scoffed, "I get it know, hedonism, you're looking for your interest and pleasure, and avoiding any consequence, and testing us for utility."

He smiled thinking he would end up making her understand his point of view, "No luv, this is not about choosing, that's the good thing, is not that I'll make you choose or that I have to choose either of you above anyone, we're just enjoying our time together," he said lovingly, placing a strand of her wavy hair behind her ear.

She thought on swearing at him, as she was doing it already in her mind, but decided not to, "Well, Paul I had no idea you thought me this naive."

He looked at her worried, "What? I don't, you're super bright. Ella, you must know from your classes that the idea of what we consider romantic relationships has different connotations and variations, and that as time goes on, the meaning changes and people do too ."

"I get it I do," she said going to the front seat to grab her bag, "if that's your plan go ahead, I don't care how you manage yourself. I meant, that after everything I told you, you think me easy to manipulate into that difficult romantic dynamic. To not share mutual exclusive commitment."

"Believe me, manipulation is not what I want to do," he felt offended.

"Still, you know my family considers me disposable, I have no one in the world, nothing in fact. Not a relationship that is exclusively mine; how could you consider that I wanted something that makes me feel like that again, that the one I like finds me unimportant, " she was raising her voice, thinking that'd stop the tears, the rain was still falling and it was tempting to simply leave the van at that moment.

He stopped for a second to think, but he was angry at her, for being angry at him, "Apologies then," he said in an offended tone, not as being truly sorry, "wasn't that what you were doing, we kissed when you were dating Rick."

Her jaw dropped in anger, "No!" And then thought about for a second, he was right, even though she felt nothing neither had she ever kissed Ricky, the fact was that she never stopped his approaches because she didn't know how, "maybe that's what I did, I let him think that we were flirting, but when you and I kissed I never thought about comparing or disrespecting our intimate moment."

"I guess our beliefs don't match," he said looking at another direction, from the back of the van.

"No, they don't." She tried to open the door, but failed.

"Hate me all you want Ella, but let the rain stop for a little, still it's raining cats and dogs," he said in a tiring voice.

She didn't stop trying to open it, since she couldn't she went to the driver's side, Paul was still in the back, and she opened it, hearing Paul telling her to stop.

She went out, soaking in the rain, he ran after her and tried to cover her with his jacket, but she refused, "you don't have to pretend you care," she, irritated, said and pushed him to then run towards the house, covering all her shoes in mud.