Love & Care

Chapter 12

December 19 at the end

After the two dropped us off I made dinner while my sisters did their homework. Our parents weren't home and they probably wouldn't be home for the rest of the night.
We ate in silence and Maya fell asleep shortly after dinner. Luckily she had finished everything for tomorrow so I just dressed her in her jammies with Laylas help before cleaning up.
Layla finished her homework and I started mine.
"Lex I'm going to bed now. Love you and sleep well." She said before climbing into her bed.
"Night Lay. Sleep tight and I love you too."
I went back to my homework. It was quite a lot so I knew I wouldn't be able to finish this early. I had to finish the essay I started writing with Selena yesterday, but I still had to write ten pages.
I started with the general informations to give the reader an general idea of the religion before I went into explaining the origins. There were three different origion stories so I just explained all of them.
Then I talked about the different good they had and the symbols each possessed that could still be found around the country.
As I didn't find any information on an holy script I just wrote that it was passed on orally from generation to generation and that it was really adaptable.
Lastly I discussed the view on death and afterlife they had in Yoruba.
All this writing took me 5 hours and I still had to do some homework for geography. But I finally finished around 2am.
I packed my bag and went to the bathroom. Removing my clothes I saw the bruises on my breasts, legs abdomen. The cuts my dad my made were red like I hadn't cleaned them out enough. So I took some alcohol and started cleaning them up. Slowly dabbing a cotton ball with the alcohol on the cuts I felt the stinging and the tears I had been holding in started to fall.
I put the cotton ball away and put band aids over the cuts.
I looked in the mirror and the tears started to fall quicker. They were leaving tracks on my cheeks and I couldn't seem to stop.
All I saw in the mirror was the lowlife whos parents beat her up ever since  she was three. The mistake that noone wanted and was nothing more than a kid that you didn't even bother to abort. All the mistakes I ever made came back hunting me. Everytime I hadn't been able to safe Maya and Layla. Everytime I couldn't get them something because I had no money. Everytime I had heard them cry at night because they were hungry or cold. Every promise I couldn't hold because I couldn't manage to keep us going or to fulfill their wish.
I was disgusting. I wasn't worth the pain I had caused everyone anymore.
My tears wouldn't stop and a sob escaped my lips, my body was trembling and I sank to the ground holding myself.
My mind showed me the pictures of last night. The pictures of how my father used me. The pictures of he my first rape. The pictures of my own father grunting while taking my virginity.
I was laying on the bathroom floor crying, shaking and drowning in my own struggle. How could life cause me so much pain when everyone seemed so happy?
I just stayed there and fell asleep on the cold bathroom floor.
When I woke up it was because I heard my alarm. But I wasn't in my room.
Then I remembered my breakdown. I got up from the cold floor and looked in the mirror. My face and my eyes were red. So I started washing it to delete all traces of my breakdown.
I quickly got dressed in the things from yesterday before walking back to our room and changing into something different.
"Guys wake up its morning."
Maya and Layla got up. Both of them seemed like the slept good.
"You get ready I'll get breakfast. We are late." I said and ran down the stairs to fix something to eat.
Back in our room I handed both of them a sandwich and packed them some food in to their bags.
"We've got to go now." I said while getting dressed in my jacket and shoes.
We almost ran to school but all made it in time.
My first lesson was geography and after discussing the homework the teacher turned on a documentary about continental drift. Of course as the good student I am I took notes so I'd be able to revise it.
Then the bell rang and I got up to walk to philosophy. The second and last block before lunch. I handed my essay in just like three quarters of the class. Some people forgot to do it so they'll probably fail this class. The rest of the time we discussed the Theodicy Question and Anselm of Canterbury's proof of God. It was quite interesting especially since it ended in a discussion.
During lunch I sat down in the library and I ate my sandwich before doing some of today's homework so I'd be able to sleep early tonight.
After the bell rang I went back to class. Math. I hated math. 
I never was good at math and I had to study very much to get good grades in this subject. Thanks to my sleep deprivation I was even more confused than usually.
Luckily the last lesson was music all we did was practicing or projects or doing homework in my case.
As soon as the bell rang I got out of school and went to the small cafe I worked in. My sisters knew I had to work so Layla would pick Maya up and than they'd come here.
When I entered the cafe it was almost empty. As I knew that was normal for the time and the season. In winter people bake for themselves and stay home so less customers and around this time noone gets off of work somewhere so most people were working.
Most people because my new favourite persons, apart from my sisters were sitting at one of the tables drinking tea.
"Hey Tay. Hey Sel." I greeted them both before walking behind the counter.
"Hello sunshine. How are you? You seem so tired." Selena said. Taylor just looked concerned but smiled anyways.
"I'm good thanks for asking. I'll be right back." I went into the back to look for the colleague that had the last shift.
Angie. "You're finally there. I thought I had to work longer because you didn't show up." I looked at the clock. I was ten minutes to early. "Uhm it's not even three yet. I'm ten minutes to early." I tried but she just looked at me. I sighed, walked back out but she shoved me to the side so I fell down to the ground.
I groaned. But instead of being nice and apologetic she just got out from behind the counter and left the store.
"Lexi." Taylor was looking around the counter. Selena right behind her. 
"Are you okay? This girl pushed you right?" She made her way towards me and helped me up.
"I'm fine it hurts a little but it'll be okay in few minutes." They both nodded and than the bell rang. Maya and Layla.  They walked inside and looked at three of us. While I continued working the four of them sat down together and Taylor ordered a tea, an apple juice and water with four glasses. I brought it over to their table and set it down.
"Youre leg is okay?" Selena asked. I nodded.
"Yes almost back to normal again." And with that I went back to work.
Around six pm another one of my colleagues came in to do the last 4 hours. Together with my sisters and the two singers I walked outside.
"Do you want to come over for dinner tomorrow?" Taylor asked me. "If it is okay." She nodded and smiled "We can pick you up after school if you want?" I nodded. "Sounds good."
---------------------------------------------------------
1367 words