How Do I Love You (gxg) (werewolf)

the beggining to the end

7 years later ....

'Oi Isla! Breakfast!' I call from the pack house kitchen. Isla is my kid. My adopted kid that is.

Me and Mia always talked about kids in our down time. She wanted them I didn't.

Kids always scared me you know. Its so much responsibility that I never thought I could deal with.

When I became Alpha I always felt that something was missing in my life.  I had no mate, no family of my own really. I had friends and my parents but no one to look after like a mate. Then it dawned on me that Mia always wished for a child.

I took my mum and Mika (Mia's dad) to the adoption center at the edge of my old town.

The moment I saw Isla I knew she was the one. She was so tiny and precious. She was 3 when I got her. She's 10 now and she's still tiny love her.

She's not a wolf like us but she fits in well. Everyone loves her. She's friends with pretty much everyone here. She rides on the others backs when we go on trips and she loves it.

She always talks about me turning her but I don't think I could do that to her so young. It would be so hard for her to adjust. Its still up for debate though. The packs divided on the decision. Shes not the only human here so some think its not fair or are reason to do so.

I know you're probably wondering if I found another mate. No. And I don't want one. I'll never get over Mia. She will always have a big place in my heart for her. I couldn't give a place to someone else right now. Or ever really.

'Coming mum'

Pounding comes from down the stairs. Isla appears with her blue bag in hand, all dressed up for school.

'That smells so good mum!' Isla sniffs the air and climbs up to the chair.

'Thank you dear, its special omelette today.' I turn around, pan in hand, placing the omelette on her plate infront of  her. Islas eyes widen and so does her smile.

'My favourite! Whats the occasion mamma? ' Islas raises an eyebrow at me.

'Well um, we're going to see mamos grave today before school.' I say going to the fridge to get the sauce. 'Is that okay with you?'

'Why today? Its not her birthday or anything is it?' She says poundering on the topic.

'No mamma's just missing her today. I thought we could talk to her about school and offer her some food.'

'Sounds good mum' Isla starts eating. 'Can we make her a cake? I think she would like that' she says her mouth half full.

'Swallow before you talk baby' I say in my mother tone ' and yeah absolutely. I think that's a great idea.'

Isla never knew Mia obviously. She also is aware shes adopted. I wanted her to be aware of Mia and how I thought of her as both mine and Mia's kid.

She loves hearing about her and visiting her grave. We visit her in special occasions like birthdays and holidays. And sadly her death day. That days, well, that week is always the hardest for me. Isla always fights through that week for me. Shes turning into a strong person, just like her mam.

We finish up breakfast quickly and head out to the mountain. We both wanted to walk there so we did.

We were about half way there when Isla asked me very shocking question.

'Hey ma?'

'Yes sweety' I look down at her, she looked off...?

'Whats gender fluid?'

'Whyd you ask?'

'Can you just answer please?'

She looked very off so I abliged to her request. ' its when someone doesn't have a fixed gender, they can feel like a different gender at any given time, even feeling like they don't have one at all at some point in the day or week.' I answer as best as I could. ' can I ask why now?'

'I feel like that sometimes.' She look nervous, her hands were notting together and her head was facing the ground. 'Is that okay? Am I okay mamma?'

It took me a minute to process this. She never gave me any signs that she felt that way. She always picked girly outfits and toys. I never forced her to choose that stuff so I assumed she identified as a girl. I assumed wrong clearly.

'Of course that okay! You're okay Isla, its not wrong to feel this way. Lots of people feel this way.' I embrace her. Isla look up at me smiling.

' I have a question though. How long have you felt this way? I had no idea?'

'Only this year.' She replies getting all shy. 'Sometimes I hate being a girl and others I like it. Its not like normal though. Its like it doesn't feel right. When I'm at Jamie's house I try on his clothes and it feels just right and sometimes not! Its so strange. Fir a while I thought I wanted to be a boy but its not! I want to be both! Can I be both mamma?'

'Yes sweety' I say smiling. Shes going to be such a good liar when she's older. Shes way too good at hiding things. I taught her way too well. 'Another question. Do you want a new name?'

'I don't know. I love my name. Its pretty.'

'We can keep it if you want. Now we need to get you new clothes though. Shopping after school today? Or we can skip school and work?' I giggle 'don't tell grandma and grandpa though, they'll kick mam ass'

Isla giggles 'its our secret hehe' we continue walking up the mountain. 'Can we learn more about it though mamma. I don't know all that much. Jamie's the one who told me about it.'

'Yeah of course. We can look it up on the computer when we get in.' I say ruffling her hair. 'I know some stuff already. Like how I should use they them pronouns until you tell me how your feeling that day. To not say your my daughter but my child to people as you don't have a set gender identity. You understand that?'

Isla nods. 'Tell me if you don't get anything.' She nods again 'some people cut their hair and buy wigs so they don't feel confused or upset by their identity as it causes some people problems, you already have short hair so thats not a problem right?' She agreed, 'some people buy clothes that don't represent either boys or girls so they don't have to decide that day and some dress in a mix of boys and girls clothes to confuse people' we both giggle ' some people get bullied for it thought, but don't worry you have me to beat them people up. You tell me if they say anything to you okay?'

'For sure mamma'

'Some people feel more male and vise versa at certain time. Later on in life you might feel like you one gender again or just non binary for the rest of your life. And all of that is okay. Also some people change their name to a gender neutral name like shay, Alex or Jamie.'

'Wow okay. Thanks mamma.'

'You're welcome. That's all I know for now. Not sure if its completely right but there you are.'

'Okay mum.' She takes my hand as we get to the top. 'How do you think mam would have reacted?'

'Thrown a coming out party to be honest.' I smile and sit infront of her grave Stone. 'She loved learning about our community. If I asked her a question like you asked me, she would have given me a lecture about it. She knew all the ins and outs, dates it was officially recognised as part of the LGBTQ+ community and all sorts.'

'Wow what a icon' she stares at her grave smiling.

'Yes she was' I say doing the same.

I pick up a sent from behind me. I turn around and a woman climbs up the edge of the mountain. She was panting a rugged. She gets the top looks me in the eyes 'help....me...' she collapses the ground...

'Mia........?'

'Mate...'

That's the official ending my guys!!!

I'm making a new book that's a continuation of this one!!