Chapter Thirty Five

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I wasn't ready; not for him.

"Ria... if you're not into it--"

"I am... I just don't know if I'm ready to jump into another relationship..." it hurts to finally admit it, but it's true. His chest heaves up and down and I can tell that wasn't what he wanted to hear, "my whole life I've been doing everything to please everybody, to make people happy, but in the end, I wasn't! This whole experience these past several months, I finally realized I haven't been living for me," it wasn't until he was wiping away some stray tears off my cheek that I knew I was crying.

He wrapped his strong arms around me, ensuring me that I will be okay. Everything will be okay in the end. It'll all fall into place, even if it wasn't what I was hoping for, it'll be okay.

He rubbed my back in circular, yet comforting motions, "I understand... I don't want to make you feel you have to be with me, even though I've never had to," he laughs, trying to lighten the situation. I just frown, and slap his back to know I'm not in the jocular mood, "I'm teasing you, Ri," he says quietly and I know he's being truthful.

"I know," was all I could muster up after another tear fest in front of him. I break away from his hug and I give a light laugh, "I'm okay,"

He tries to study my features, "I know you are; you're one of the strongest girls I know," he winks at me and I scoff.

"Yeah, I'm so tough because I cry every time I can't handle something," I roll my eyes and now it's his turn to scoff.

"You don't even understand or see what I see of you, Ria. You're so strong and independent and beautiful. You're not weak because you cry... You're strong and brave because you permit the people around you to see you're hurting, not weak. You're brave enough to know how far you're willing to go before you have to take a step back and evaluate. So no, you're not strong because you cry; you're strong because you release those tears and replace it with a smile and a new outlook," I was appalled by his speech of me by the time he was finished, all I could do was give him a true smile.

"Thank you," I giggled and he extends his arms and I come closer to be in his arms once more, "just thank you..." I whispered, not even knowing if he heard me.

"You're welcome," he whispers next to my ear, and that's when I knew.

Everything's going to be okay.

At least, that was what I kept telling myself.

* * *

He opened the door rapidly, his eyes widening, "where've you been? Dinner's cold, but thank god for microwaves," he chuckles, as he lets me in.

I take a step into ominous territory, not knowing what to expect out of this, I don't want to eat his foot then break up with him. I also don't want to break up with him then leave him with wasted food.

Can you see my dilemma?

I sat my purse on the edge of his couch and slumped into the love seat.

No, not the love seat.

I tried to rid of my denigrating thoughts, but it wouldn't work, "you thirsty?" Preston asks me as he walks to the his fridge. I didn't reply, but he was bringing out some wine before I could.

Wine?

"It's your favorite, right?" He tries to spark a conversation and I can't believe how rude I'm being.

"S-sorry, I'm out of it, but I'm not much of a drinker," I shrug and he eyesme suspiciously like I'm joking.

"Are you okay?" He takes a moment to pat my forehead as if I'm some helpless child.

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