N O O R
It's been twelve days since Maama left us and all I've been feeling is empty, I haven't been eating well, I've been closed off even to Adnaan, he still puts up with me
Everything has been so different, I have just been carrying this empty feeling in my heart, the pain became numb, sometimes things become so hard for me when I overthink, my breathing stops and there's a choke in my throat, I feel like my chest is burning then it suddenly stops
I got of the prayer mat snapping out of my thoughts and folded the hijab and mat keeping them in the closet
"Noor" Adnaan entered and I raised my eyes to look at him "how are you?" He asked and sat down "Alhamdullilah"
"Noor" he called sternly "do you know what you're doing is not good?" He asked calmly
"What am I doing Adnaan, what is so wrong in being in pain? What is so wrong about hurting? Do you know how much it hurts Adnaan, do you know how badly I want to end it, I just want to die Adnaan, I'm tired, the pain is too much for me to bear, I can't take it anymore wallahi"
"Please don't say that, you have to accept fate as it is, I'm really sorry but we have to move on and hold to the little we have left we hold on to it, i can't say I understand what you're going through Noor but I try to. Everything is so hard I know but it's all a test from your Lord, and you will pass InshaAllah"
A D N A A N
I watched as she cried, her tears soaking my shirt, it hurts so bad to see her like this, it's paining me that I can only watch her cry and I can't do anything but give her assurance
The woman I love is breaking and there's nothing I can do, I rubbed soothing circles on her back and prayed for her till she stopped crying and when I checked she dozed off
She looks so weak and frail, picking her up I laid her on the bed, she held on to my shirt so tightly I was almost doubting if she wasn't sleeping
I held her to my chest and covered the rest of her body with the Duvet
From the looks you could see she hasn't been eating and sleeping well, the eye bags that formed and also the dark circles, her face thinner and pale
"I will try my best to keep you safe and happy Noor inshaAllah" my mind wandering to the conversation I had with Anty, Bariras mum
It was an unknown but I still picked thinking it was condolences for Maama "Is this Adnaan?" The person on the other line asked
"Yes, if I may ask, who is speaking?"
"It's Antin mu, bariras mum" she replied sweetly, using the name I used to call her when me and barira were in UK
"Ina Uni Anty, ya hakuri?" I asked and she replied, after exchanging greetings she went straight to the point
"Adnaan I called to talk to you about something, Barira has been acting depressed, she hasn't been eating well, hasn't been relating with us, she hasn't been well kawai and then she has been in her room most of the time and when I finally asked her what is wrong she broke down, she told me she's in love with you Adnaan and you're the only one she will ever love, she said she is sure you still have feelings for her since from your times in London and that you have been giving her signs but you feel Noor is the pillar stopping you guys, but let me remind you Adnaan a man is entitled to four wives and if he adds another wife it's not cheating it's simply fulfilling his desires"
"I'm very sorry anty but the thing is I love Noor and her alone and I don't love Barira, Sp for that can't marry her, even if I do marry her, I will be cheating two people, myself and the Barira because I won't treat her the way I will treat Noor and that is not what is said, they say marry four wives and treat them equally, not jus because i am a man I will marry four wives, I'm very sorry 𝑨𝒏𝒕𝒚 but I can't marry Barira"
"I'll see about that Adnaan, I will talk to her about your decision and besides It's almost 6 months since your wedding and we haven't heard any news of a baby"
"Thank you got understanding, and for a child we leave that in the hands of the Almighty"
I can't even imagine myself marrying another wife, especially Barira
F A T I M A
I quietly sipped my drink as Jemima and Lois argued on Burna boys Grammy Award
"Lois can you hear yourself, how will someone rig Grammy awards" jemimah rolled her eyes "whatever with or without Grammy David is the best"
"Fatima are you alright this one you haven't been talking and you haven't even touched your chicken wings" Lois asked and I just shook my head
"Oya talk to us, spill" jemmy said tucking her hands under chin her face all serious "okay okay fine"
"Wait! Is it that hameed boy?"
"Yes, like he just stopped trying to make things right, he has stopped trying and it's killing me" I groaned and they smiled
"This girl so you had feelings for him all this while and you refused to accept it, since he said it was all his past and the girl is just trying to scare you and get back at you then honestly I think you should forgive him, we all have skeletons in our closet" jemmy smiled
"And just seemed to open the closet and see his own skeleton" Lois laughed at her stupid joke making me chuckle
"Now let's finish eating and enjoy our girls day out" i said as I slapped my knee blowing out a breath, what jemmy said is true and I'm going to give him a second chance
"After this we're going to the spa and manicure and you guys know we booked 3 bah, it's already 2:37"
"Okay okay let's hurry up"
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YOU ARE READING
Noor
SpiritualI was in a dark place with no one to hear my cries, I screamed but the sound just echoed into a far distance The pain was unbearable from almost every part of my body especially around my thighs and my hands, my head also hurt I cried into the dark...
