𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐘 𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐔𝐄𝐒 | 𝐉𝐉 𝐌𝐀𝐘𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐊

✰eighteen✰

i watched cassie go inside and turned to look at the pogues with tears in my eyes. when i saw how upset they were it made my hear ache

 i hate putting other people in pain.

it's not their fault your dad's abusive.

it's not their problem that you sisters a suicidal anorexic.

they shouldn't care about you.

you don't deserve them. 

these sentences echoed in my head and i didn't even notice the pogues coming over and kiara engulfing me in a hug. 

"i'm sorry." she whispered 

"don't be." i said. i felt numb, or thats how i acted on the inside i was breaking. but i already let my outside crack a tiny bit and jj saw me on the inside. for a split second, last night. he saw me at my lowest and, he didn't leave. maybe its because he has the same experiences but i'm so confused as to why they stay around me.

i pulled away from the hug

"w-why?" i asked they shared a confused glance

"why what?" kiara asked

"why m-me?" i asked "why do you guys like me? why do you stay around me i don't deserve y'all." i said quietly

"don't say that maddy." kiara said "were here because we love you and your our friend." 

"b-but.." she interrupted me by giving me another hug this time i hugged her back

"are you going to midsummer's?" she asked me

shit.

i completely forgot about midsummer's its tonight

"uh, y-yeah i think so." i told her

"yay!" she sqealed "do you and cassidy want to come over and get ready?" she asked me

"yeah that-" i interrupted myself. that was me and sarah's thing. we always always went to midsummer's together. but if i went with kiara it would mean it's really over.

"i think that it would be better if cassie went with you. she needs some time with her bestie." i said to her and her face lit up

"i'm her bestie?" she asked

"well it seems so doesn't it?" i asked

"okay but are you sure? you can come too if you want i can-"

"no, kie it's fine i'll see you there."

"i'll go get cassidy and then i'll see you tonight?"  i nodded and she left

"well i gotta go to help my dad set up for tonight. we're catering." pope said

"ooh!  can i get a ride with you bro i gotta go to." jj said standing up pop nodded and walked off, jj walked over to me and kissed me softly

"i'll see you tonight?" he asked against my lips

"mhm." i said and he left

john b looked at me

"thank's for, you know making him happy again." he said referring to jj

"i make him happy?" i asked

"are you kidding? whenever you walk into a room he goes all gaga and shit and totally simps for you." i blushed

we settled into silence

"hey john b?" i asked and he looked at me

"yeah?"

"um what's going on with you and sarah?" i asked him he sighed

"you have to swear on your life not to tell anyone." he said solemnly i nodded

"i swear."

"we kinda are together." he said and i squealed

"awwww i ship it sooooo hard!" he laughed

"oh shoot speaking of sarah i need to call her." i said  "gimme a sec." he nodded

i dialed her number

{phone convo}

bold=maddy

underlined=sarah

italicized=john b

hello?

hey, uh a-are you going tonight?

uh yeah duh.

b do you think that maybe you'd wanna um i don't know maybe like-

get ready together? yeah. i would and look i'm really sorry for being such a bitch it wasn't my place to talk about that and frankly, you can be friends with whoever you want and i shouldn't dictate that stuff. 

oh my god thank god. i'm sooooo glad can i come at like 6?

yesssss i litterally have so much to tell you, liteerally guess what?

what?

you know that pogue? john b?

i started laughing

what?

hi sarah

omg hi john b!

well i gotta go see you later?

see you later. luv you bitch

love you to hoe

{phone convo over}

we sat in silence for a sec john b took a sip of his beer. decided to break the silence

"so hows the gold hunt going?" he spit out his drink and put a finger to my lips

"shhhhhh!" 

"bruh. no one is here." i told him

"it-it's going okay.." he said

"you find it?" i asked he nodded 

"where?"

"tanyhill." he said

"wait really."

"yeah i have to break the new's to the gang tonight. i think i'm also gonna tell them about sarah." i scoffed

"yeah right."

"what do you mean?" he asked confused

"your not gonna tell them after you see how kiara starts to react." i told him

"oh yeah?" he asked 

"mhmm. your too much of a pussy." he laughed

"10 bucks says i will."

"'ight bet." i said and shook his hand "i gotta go see you later pussy!" 

"oh fuck off!" we walked in the different directions to our car's.

a/n: okay i think i deserve a medal 2 chapters in what like 4 hours? lol i dont remember i had school buttttttttt  here ya go enjoy next chapter will bee midsummer's so get ready fro that shit

xo💜