𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐘 𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐔𝐄𝐒 | 𝐉𝐉 𝐌𝐀𝐘𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐊

✰forty seven✰

i'm in a dark room.

well,
not a room. a dark space, a dark area. but theres no light. pitch black. but i can see myself
its like-
you know in stranger things? when eleven visits people with her mind? like that.

sorry this isn't the time for jokes- i'm dead.
or dying, or maybe alive. i don't know anymore.

in the space, i see a person, she's rocking in a chair, in front of the chair someone is on the floor. they're watching a tv, which is also there. they look familiar. really familiar. but i can't tell who they are.

i hear the theme song to a show play through the television, i know the song. it triggers memories, but i can't tell which ones.

i'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour...

i'll be there for you, like i've been there before...

i'll be there for you, cuz' you're there for me too...

holy shit.

"cassidy?" i asked, my voice shaky, the figure on the floor looked up, we made eye contact and she jumped up and ran into my arms,

"oh jesus christ i thought i'd never see you again..." i hugged her, my tears dampening the fabric of her tank top.

"i'm sorry maddy i'm so sorry..." she sobbed into my shirt,

"wait.." i pulled away looking at the chair, still facing the tv and at the face, which i now remembered.

"m-mom?" i asked tear's gathering in my eyes once again, her head snapped up and our eyes met, she stood up and i bolted over to her embracing her tightly

"hey baby.." she whispered into my hair

"i miss you so much..." i cried into her shirt

"i miss you too mad's." she whispered, rubbing my back.

a few moments later, we're in the same setting, on a couch. i'm in the center between my sister and my mother.

a scenerio i thought i'd never relive again.

"why did you go cass?" i whispered

"i had to go maddy." she sighed looking at me

"but why? we miss you so much." i told her

"i wasn't happy. and i knew i wouldn't be until i was with mama again." she looked at my mother who was looking at me sadly,

"this isn't real is it?" i asked them in fear

"its not." my mother told me

"but it can be, when it needs to be." cassidy said

"promise me something." mom told me

"hm?"

"that you won't come back till you're ready."

"b-but i'm ready now." i protested "isn't that whats happening?"

"you're not ready, stupid." cassie said to me rolling her eyes

"what would jj do without you? or kie? and sarah, john b and pope?" she asked and i looked down

"they'd figure it out." i mumbled " i did." she grabbed my hand

"you're not ready." she said finally and my mother nodded in agreement

"but hey," i looked up, more tears gathering in my eyes as my sister spoke "we'll be here. okay? we're waiting for you." i embraced her once more sobbing a goodbye, 

my mother pulled me into her chest, i cried harder my tears soaking her blouse,

"fince non ci incontreremo di nuovo." she said kissing my forehead

till we meet again.

"i love you." i said standing up

"we love you too mad's." they called as i walked out and closed my eyes.

JJ POV:

i'm so fucking tired of this, this poor girl just wanted some normal kook ass summer and i stepped in and ruined it, now her sister's dead, she's hospitalized and probably going to jail.

she jumped in front of the bullet. it was going for the sheriff but she shoved her out of the way. the bullet thankfully only grazed her shoulder but it was enough to cause a deep enough cut to need surgery, which put her into a medically induced coma.

i've been awake for hours. the nurses let me stay, i think sarah bribed them or something. i've been sitting next to her. just waiting. i've been dozing off, and internally hitting myself when i wake up for it, for the past hour. i was in the middle of one of my "power naps" when i  heard my name 

"jay?" a small voice asked and i saw her eyes flutter open.

"hey pretty girl," i said sitting on the bed next to her

"jj...i-i thought i was dead.." she said tears falling down her cheeks

"hey, hey none of that you're okay, see? everything's okay." i wiped her tears with a small smile, embracing her

"jj..i..." she said through tears

"what angel?" i asked tucking a piece of hair behind her ear

"i.....i saw my mom jj." she said looking up at me, more tears spilling down her cheeks "a-and cassidy." she whispered, i just held on to her

"i miss her so much jj." she said and a sob escaped her lips.

"oh baby." i said pulling her onto my chest and rubbing her back as she sobbed into me.

i've been through a shit ton of pain, my mom left when i was six because my dad hit her and now he hits me. i've gone through the shit, that most people can avoid for lifetimes, in all my 16 1/2 years of living. but i haven't lost people. sure my mom left but i hate her for it, so it wasn't a loss i'm struggling with, didn't really have any friends until john b and he hasn't left yet. i got kie and pope. but this girl, god, this girl. she's been through all the shit and i can't begin to explain how much pain it brings me to see her go through it. she lost her mom, she lost her sister, her dad is like my dad, and she goes through it with a fucking smile on her face every day.

"jj...i'm so fucking sick of it." she sobbed and pulled her head out of my chest sitting up and looking out the window

"of what angel" i asked softly

"of-of pretending, that i'm-" she breathed "that i'm okay all the time, that i- that i can do this alone because jj..i can't i fucking can't do it alone i'm so tired of it..." she sobbed and my heart honestly broke for her

"hey, you don't have to anymore. i'm here okay? i'm not going anywhere." i reassured rubbing her back

"promise?" she asked, her voice small and vulnerable i smiled a sad smile

"i promise." i said linking our pinkies.

and i intend to,

i will never leave this girl.

𝒢𝑜 𝒶𝒽𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒸𝓇𝓎, 𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝒷𝑜𝓎
𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒹𝒶𝒹𝒹𝓎 𝒹𝒾𝒹 𝓉𝑜𝑜
𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓌𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓂𝒶𝓂𝒶 𝓌𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝓇𝑜𝓊𝑔𝒽
𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝑔𝑜𝓉𝓉𝒶 𝓁𝑒𝓉 𝒾𝓉 𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝓈𝑜𝑜𝓃, 𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝓁𝑒𝓉 𝒾𝓉 𝑜𝓊𝓉

𝒢𝑜 𝒶𝒽𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒸𝓇𝓎, 𝓁𝒾𝓉𝓉𝓁𝑒 𝑔𝒾𝓇𝓁
𝒩𝑜𝒷𝑜𝒹𝓎 𝒹𝑜𝑒𝓈 𝒾𝓉 𝓁𝒾𝓀𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒹𝑜
𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒽𝑜𝓌 𝓂𝓊𝒸𝒽 𝒾𝓉 𝓂𝒶𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓈 𝓉𝑜 𝓎𝑜𝓊
𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝑔𝑜𝓉 𝒹𝒶𝒹𝒹𝓎 𝒾𝓈𝓈𝓊𝑒𝓈 𝐼 𝒹𝑜 𝓉𝑜𝑜