Chapter 12

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DREW

So the whole weekend Aubrey has been avoiding me, well I’m not really sure but she refused to answer any of my calls. I figured everything was fine last Friday and maybe she just needed the weekend for herself to sort her thoughts so I left her alone after a few tries of calls and just decided to give her some space, but heck it’s been days and I’m already missing her like a mad man and I can’t wait for another hour to see her so I decided to pick her up. I knew she didn’t really want to see me and the way she’s sitting like a straight pole right now, just confirmed it. I sighed loudly.

“Aubrey” I started but she just stiffened and looked down on her fidgeting thumbs.

I heaved another sigh and shook my head, if I knew she’d be acting this way I should’ve kept my feelings to myself. I leaned closer to her and lifted her chin making her look at me but she refused to look at me and turned her head sideways.

“Aubrey will you look at me?” I pleaded, this time she was the one who sighed and stared at my eyes.

“Aubrey I know I might have come off too strong last Friday, I even shocked myself too because I only planned to tell you I’m a girl but I just couldn’t live another day not telling you about my feelings but I want you to know that all I wanted is for you to be aware, that’s it, and I don’t want you to feel like you’re obligated to love me back, I don’t want you to feel pressured or rushed and the last thing I want is for you to be uncomfortable around me.” I waited for her reply but she didn’t say anything back so I continued.

“Aubrey nothing has to change, I may have confessed my love for you and I mean it, but I also meant when I said I’m willing to wait for you and if ever you’d feel the same way towards me, I want it to come naturally like it did to me and god forbid if one day you realize you really can’t love me back then that’s how it is, I won’t hold that against you” she nodded but she still didn’t seem convinced enough, I sighed heavily, “you know if it’s too much for you let’s just pretend half of what happened last Friday didn’t happen so just forget everything I ever said those” I told her, I know it’s stupid and I don’t want her to disregard what I told her last Friday but if it makes Aubrey comfortable around me again it has to make do. I’d rather have her as a friend than nothing at all.

“What? No that’s just unfair for you and-“ she started but I cut her off, “see? You already think you have to reciprocate, you think that you have to love me back because I love you but that’s not the  case because if everyone’s loved back by the person they love then the world would be full of happiness and we both know it doesn’t work that way.” I continued to explain, “though I can’t blame you for thinking like that because it’s my fault for telling you I’m in love with you when I just told you I’m a girl, it was hard to take in. I know you’re feeling uncomfortable about it and-..“ this time she cut me off, “Drew, I’m not uncomfortable about you being a girl and liking another girl because love comes in different, mysterious ways, I get that. It’s just that I don’t know how to act around you after last Friday, it’s not like I don’t think I’d ever feel the same way towards you but maybe somewhere inside me I feel scared” she answered tears forming in her eyes.

“Am I that scary?” she shook her head no.

“No, you don’t scare me at all but I’m scared with the idea of falling in love because I’ve always lost when it came to love” she said giving me a forced smile while wiping a tear but I knew better. It was such a brave smile, a masked smile but her eyes held so much sorrow that even someone as insensitive as me saw through it and it pained me to see her like that, whoever hurt her this much must’ve been born asinine, and I hate it more that my twin brother contributed in causing her this much pain.

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