Love Island - A Shourtney Story [DISCONTINUED]

Nineteen

Shayne

"I'm not trying to push anything, but wouldn't you like to be in a relationship again?"

"I just...want you to think about it."

Her words keep coming back to me.  I can't escape them. I've been left to think about something I never thought would happen ever. Not because of her, but because of the rela we've had since the beginning. I remember her talking about stuff like this and her saying that she could never think of any of us like that. What the hell happened?

I ask myself these things hoping that I have the answer, but unfortunately I'm at a loss. I don't think I even had a lead to begin with. I could ask Damien what I should do, but at the same time he's probably sick of hearing about my love life. Plus, I really should think about this on my own. Courtney told me to take my time, but who knows how long she's willing to wait for an answer.

Tomorrow our last day here. I need to figure this shit out before then. At least, I'll try to.

Courtney

Was it a bad idea? I can't tell. It made me realize that I probably did want more from Shayne considering the fact that I asked him to think about this.

I don't know if he's actually thinking about this or not, but what do I know? That I want him to say yes to this. I've been in relationships before, but something feels different about wanting this with him. I don't know what it is, but...it feels right. I know I feel this way, but does he?

I doubt it.

The way he reacted to my confession kinda pulled away all my hopes. I suppose it was kind of sudden.

"Hey, Court," I heard a voice from outside my room. Sounds like Olivia. I got up off of my bed and made my way to the door. I opened it to see Olivia there all dressed and ready to start the day. "You're going out in that?"

"No, I haven't gotten ready yet. I was just waking myself up before you got here. What's in the bag?" I asked

"Breakfast. I brought you some along with my own. I was hoping we could eat together"

"Oh, yeah of course. I'm gonna take a shower and get dressed, we can eat once I'm done"

"Kay, don't take too long," She said.

I stepped into the shower and sighed. I turned the water on and stood there. I couldn't seem to get the conversation I had with Shayne out of my head. It's conflicting me. I can't tell if what happened was good or not. Should I not have talked to him about that? Was it the right thing to do?

I have no clue. I haven't seen him since then. Maybe I should check on him? No, that would be too pushy. I should just act like everything's normal until he decides something or else it's just going to be awkward. I don't want that at all. Yeah, we'll just be casual about this whole thing.

Also, if you were imagining me in the shower I'm very disappointed.

I found Olivia on her phone filming herself probably for her Instagram.

"Hey, you ready to eat or wah?" I asked. Olivia jumped up and started digging through the bag. We ate for a bit and talked about random shit until she brought something up.

"So, what happened between you and Topp?" She asked.

"I asked him how he felt. He said he didn't know so I didn't push it. I asked him to think about a relationship between us and that's the last time we spoke," I sighed and slouched in my chair. "I'm beginning to think that it was stupid"

"What? Court, what you did was the best thing you could have. You got him to think about this and I'm sure he is"

"But what if he isn't? What if he's already decided that it's not a good idea?"

"We'll just have to see when he decides to talk to you about it again. For now you'll have to just hope for the best"

"Yeah...I guess"