Temporary -An Aaron Hotchner Story-

32

My leg bounces furiously as I sit across from Spencer in the quiet bar. He's having a Cuba Libre without the alcohol, so just a coke, and I'm on my second gin and tonic.

"Something's bothering you" he reads me like an open book and I nod with a gulp "Spencer, I'm going to London" I admit and his eyes go wide. "Like on a new case" he asks but I shake my head unable to meet his eyes "The President offered me a promotion...to Chief of our offices in London."

Spencer's mouth falls open and I finally force myself to look him in the eye. "Woah" he exhales and I just nod awkwardly waiting for him to say something else, but his eyes dart around as he searches for something to say.

Silence.

"You're leaving again" he whimpers and my heart shatters.

"No, Spencer, no" I reassure him quickly "I have 2 full months of vacation. I can spread them out to match up with yours and we can spend that time together" but he shakes his head "You use your vacation to travel." His eyes start to well up and I feel the prick of incoming tears "I've traveled enough. Spencer...with this job I...I can settle down."

My own words surprise me.

I can settle down.

It's the truth.

"I've explored more of this world than I ever thought I would" I explain to him but he just hangs his head to hide his expression from me. "I...I guess I just thought you'd settle here...with Hotch" he admits as he fiddles with his thumbs and his words take me by surprise.

Is that what this was all about?

"Spencer..." I start trying to get him to look at me but he keeps his head down "Look at me" I ask of him but he still looks away. "You're gonna yell at me" he whimpers and I can't help but chuckle as he makes the childish comment.

"Did you push me towards Aaron so I would settle down and stay here" I ask bluntly and Spencer chews on his lip before finally looking me in the eyes, but those hazel orbs tell me all I need to know. "Wow, Spencer" I drink with an exasperated sigh.

That's man number three that's tried to manipulate me.

"I wasn't manipulating you" he defends and I look at him from the corner of my eye as he reads my thoughts just from my face. "Hotch is your type" he admits and I turn to face him completely as he continues "If he wasn't, you never would've entertained the idea."

Excuse me?

"Care to explain how you think you know what my type is, baby brother" I ask and Spencer holds his hands up in defense saying "It was just...an educated assumption" so I ask "You guessed" and he nods slowly.

"Based on our past, because our father left when we were young, you now search for any man who will give you all the love, support, approval and understand that our dad never did " he profiles me and my mouth falls open as I listen to the words coming from his mouth, unable to believe he's saying this to me right now.

"You unconsciously started the pattern when Mom had us tested and you lied to her about your results because you figured Dad already had enough trouble with Mom's disorder and now he'd have to make special accommodations for my learning. You dumbed yourself down so he wouldn't feel too overwhelmed with have two children of above average intelligence, but he still left."

Spencer, shut up.

"So you started taking extreme care of your physical appearance and you were flirtatious and you made yourself into a woman you imagined would catch every man's attention. You twisted yourself up like a pretzel with every boyfriend you had just to keep him around, but eventually you realized he didn't have what you were looking for and you got bored with them and dropped them like a bad habit. That you have Mom to thank for."