Timeless [KTH]✔️

6 minutes

[drugs and reference to suicide]

"J-Jimin." I breathed after I swung the door open.
A flicker of panic and worry flashed in his eyes.

"Hey are you okay-"
Instead of answering, I just slammed my body against his, curling my arms around his neck and burying my face into his chest.
His arms instantly wrapped me up securely.

He didn't ask what's wrong, he just kept his arms around me until I was ready to pull away.

"Thank you..." I mumbled, stepping back and letting him into the living room.
He flicked the switch next to the door, turning the living room lights on as I shut the door and moved to the couch.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I wanted nothing more than to talk.

"I... I got a text from Taehyung... I thought he was going to overdose on pills." I muttered, sitting on the couch and Jimin sat down too, facing me.

"That's why you left in a hurry... is he okay?"

That made me scoff.
"He's fine. It was a joke."

Jimins eyes darkened.
"He jokes about that? Death isn't something to make a joke out of."

"...I know and it really... it really hurt me... it reminded me of how my brother passed... Taehyung  knew... he forgot... but he still joked about it..."
My emotions were eating up my insides, everything was heightened to the point it physically hurt.

"I'm so sorry..." Jimin frowned, shuffling closer to me. He rested a hand at on my shoulder then it moved to my back, up and down in comforting strokes.

"My brother... he was the only person who made me happy. I had low self esteem and he would always boost my confidence. He loved strawberry cheesecake, eating it reminds me of him. I loved him so much, so fucking much. When I saw him laying there on his bed- god, Jimin it messed me up... and being reminded of it, going through it again... it hurts so much an I don't know how to make it stop."

Jimins eyes softened as he slowly hugged me again. I nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck, finding comfort in the way he fits perfectly around me.
"I know it hurts, but everything goes Y/N. The pain you feel will pass. I'm here with you, let's go through it together." He whispered, hugging me tighter.
We sat like that for a few minutes. It still hurt but just being in his embrace, knowing that someone cared, I felt the pain lessen slightly.

"You have no idea how much you've made me feel better..." I said, pulling away with a sad smile.

Jimin crossed his legs and turned fully to face me.
"Can I ask you something?"

I nodded slowly.

"Your brother... he helped you with your self esteem right?"
I nodded again at Jimin.
"Do you still have issues... with your body image or weight?"

I bit my lip.
I wanted to brush it off and lie... I was going to but, Jimin beat me to it.
"It's okay to be honest with me. To tell you the truth, you and I are on the same boat."

"You... we are?"

Jimin nodded with a smile that held no happiness.
"Yeah. A few years ago, I was close to ending it all."

I couldn't believe it.
The happiest, bubbliest person I have ever met... he...
I just couldn't wrap my mind around it.

"I hated the way I looked. My height, the baby fat on my face... everything. I tried drowning myself in my tub." He whispered the last bit, sounding disappointed in himself.

"Jimin..."
My heart broke all over again and my eyes stung with tears.

"But I got through it. With the help of my friends. They saved my life by encouraging me to love myself." He smiled, a more genuine smile that reached his eyes.

"So..." he started softly, bringing his hand down to mine and taking it. With his fingers, he pushed mine apart before intertwining ours together.
"Use me Y/N."

He rubbed soothing circles onto the back of my hand with his thumb.
"Let me boost your confidence, let me tell you all the things you should love yourself for- because trust me Y/N, theres a lot about you that amazes me." He grinned.
"Use me Y/N, use me to love yourself. I want to be there for you."

"J-Jimin..."
I couldn't hold back the tears anymore.
They kept coming and I couldn't stop them. I didn't want to.

Jimin pulled me in for another hug and he silently stroked my back.
"So what do you say?"

I pulled away and rubbed my eyes.
"I don't want to use you Jimin."

I could see that hurt him, but I didn't want to just use him like a product. I wanted us to be of mutual benefit.
"I want to learn from you, I want us to be good for each other- a two way street, get it?"

He broke out into a lob sided smile and nodded.
"First lesson on loving yourself, cry it all out when you need to, then promise you won't cry about it again. Learn from it instead."

I chuckled and nodded.
"Got it."

But then... there was buzz.
A notification on my phone.

Reluctantly, I picked it up and turned it on.

New message from: Taehyungie

Y/N, please meet me in the park. I need you.

I regret a lot about that moment.

I regret actually thinking about going. I regret telling Jimin I'll be alright and that he should go home.
I regret texting you back.

I regret meeting you that night.
If I didn't... I could've saved myself the avalanche of emotions after.

Please star, comment and enjoy <3