Capítulo 45 (cuarenta y cinco)

56 4 1
                                    

Feliciano

I could still feel slight anger inside me. It was like wind in autumn; sometimes getting stronger and sometimes being so weak, one would think it completely died out. I knew the best way of getting rid of such negative thoughts would be not thinking about the initiative that triggered my aggression. The only reason why I most likely reacted in this way, was because I couldn't carry on with my terrific plan to punish my brother, although I convinced myself it wasn't what God wanted from me. Perhaps, if I hadn't thought about it so much, I wouldn't have been suffering from one of the Seven deadly Sins, Wrath.

I still had my arms crossed as I watched my books and such being thrown onto the little space in the back of the carriage. Although it was mid-spring, Roderich decided to use carriage with closed roof, as "to have more privacy". I fought my urge to bark at the servant to be more careful with my belongings, lowering it into a slight growl-like sound a part of me hoped no-one heard. Leather straps were tightened around my travel case, the man who's been in charge of getting everything ready strolling to his master to announce that everything was done.

Roderich nodded and he glanced at the Hungarian once more – despite talking to her just a heartbeat ago. From what my ears managed to catch, they were talking about things that needed to be done while he was away – it was only then when I realized he would be accompanying me to Vienna for he had some errands to run in the capital.

The master and his servant said their goodbyes, Elizabeta giving him a slight bow of her head – or rather a nod that, yes, everything would be done before he'd return. Her eyes seemed to flicker with something I've never noticed before while looking at the Austrian but I paid it no mind; I couldn't care less anymore. However, when she stalked towards me, I let my shoulders relax a bit and actually welcomed the rub of my head she provided.

"Don't be angry with Herr Edelstein, for your greater good," she said, her voice low but tender, and she withdrew her hand to her side, turning her attention towards the side of the carriage where the small door was already opened, the man inside waiting for my arrival. "Have a safe trip, my dear, and be sure to pray for us." I shrugged it off, hurrying to the small entrance but looked back at her before disappearing inside, and giving her a small nod while she smiled at me softly.

Soft green cushion sighed underneath me as I sat down, Roderich closing the door behind me, despite a servant hovering outside for him to do so. He knocked – more like slammed his fist – on the wooden wall behind him and suddenly, we were moving.

The Austrian was dressed in one of his nicest suits, golden buttons decorating his west. He also included his golden watch, the chain tangling in air and hitting his ribs as the carriage moved, the rest of the object hidden in a small pocket. His arms were crossed just like mine, but he didn't cross his legs like I did, giving off a rather friendly light round him.

My stare turned away from him – it was physically impossible for me to look at him. However, I was slightly surprised when the carriage started to go uphill. "Ich habe es ihm gesagt, dass wir der Hauptweg gehen würden," his baritone echoed in my head but I said nothing to him, not even a word of acknowledgment.

The silence was awkward and dreadful. A part of me silently wished it wasn't like this, damned my stupid actions and the words I've said in the heat of the moment. However, another part of me – although knowing it would be the best – couldn't bring itself – myself – to apologize. There was a war inside me, and I was afraid the dark side – the side full of pride and wrath – would win.

I bit the inside of my cheek – I've been stating that I am not a child anymore and yet, here I am, not being able to apologize like a proper adult should.

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