Capítulo 39 ( treinta y nueve)

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Romano

6 months.

We've been here for 6 months. 6 months away from freedom. Who would've thought that life could get so boring? So one-sided with nothing to do. The same ritual every day for the past 6 months. Well, at least I experienced new things like Christmas and New Year celebration but, really, without those, everything was so grey-like. I even contemplated about learning German but it's such a brute language and nothing like Spanish, so it'd be harder to learn it, too.

"The more you know, the further you go," Elizabeta said when I told her about it. I made a face but couldn't really disagree. The days passed lazily and snow was slowly starting to melt. I couldn't focus on academics though; I needed to move. Sitting still wasn't in my vocabulary.

"You can always go on a horse ride with Toni or go on a hunt." I groaned at that. I wanted to do something that would make me be short of breath with heartbeat echoing rapidly in my ears. Something that would set my blood to boil.

She looked lost in her thoughts when I told her this. Her forefinger was tapping away an unknown melody on her chin as she gazed into empty space. "Well, I really don't know about something like that, Roma, dear. I guess the only thing to please you like that is to run around like a madman," she laughed but I only groaned again. She let out a quiet "ay" before pinching my cheek, hard. "Go help out the servants then, eh? I bet they'll be more than happy to have another set of hands to help."

I huffed out a breath, "I just wish I could move. Travel. Being in the same place is making me fucking sick." I paused and gave her a glance, "No offense though." She hummed and got up, walking to one of the many bookshelves, tracing her fingers gently along them until she found what she was looking for. She took out a greyish book, walking over to me with a small smile. "Just because you can't go see them at the moment, doesn't mean you cannot read about the places you desire to see."

"Won't that just make the feeling worse?"

She opened the book, flipping through pages without really looking through them. "Only if you think about it that way." She closed the book with a thud. Some of her hair flew around until they finally calmed down and rested on her shoulders. "If you use your fantasy a bit more, the feeling won't be that anxious because right now, you're anxious but if you let imagination take over, it'll turn into a happy feeling. An expectation, if you please. Let those thoughts be dreams, not nightmares."

I rolled my eyes as I took the book.

"Just give it a try. If it doesn't work out, it's okay. As I said, you can always go and help out others. Just not the cleaning, a little birdie told me you have troubles holding a broom."

Fuck you, Antonio, fuck you.

Elizabeta laughed and ruffled my hair. "You two are a funny pair, I won't lie. But so troublesome. I guess all men are like that; where they should worry, they don't and where they shouldn't worry, they do." She then patted me, a low sound full of annoyance escaping my lips. "But don't worry, my dear – you can always be free, even if you're in a cage. It all depends on how you look at it. At times like these, you should cheat; cheat on your Life with Fantasy and you'll see it's way better like that."

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Finally, darkness hugged the world into a night. It was the only thing I has been looking forward to lately. I mean, who doesn't like sleeping? It's a luxury everyone can enjoy. However, my night routine also occurred of being almost squished to death by a certain Spaniard. But it's not like I looked forward to that. Ew, no...though, I've got to admit getting kissed does feel kind of nice.

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