Slave's Love (Pirate!Spamano)

Capítulo 10 (diez)

Antonio's PoV:

Rain. What a word. Just four letters with such deep meaning.

Aggressive drops of water ran past me, some of them watering my face as the gravity called them to come closer. Dark clouds hugged the sky, like guards who wouldn't let one single ray of sunlight touch the ground. At least – at least we were already on the Austrian ground.

Fear formed a small purple ball inside my throat, daring me to choke on the air which seemed to disappear from my reach. Trees passed me by, my horse's hooves bothering the mud underneath and the rain continued to fall.

An old friend of mine was there anew, standing tall and proud, small strings wrapping around every inch of me. Anxiety, its name was, sat inside of me like a king on his new throne; ready to give orders just to be a burden for his kingdom. And I thought about it. Then some more. And then so much, the world around me just vanished.

There was nothing near me; no trees, no rain. Just emptiness. Peaceful and meaningful emptiness. Until a short boy, whose string of hair stuck out in a stubborn curl, appeared. Shadows glittered under his beautiful eyes, no longer sparkling with boyish playfulness as they always did.

His skin was pale with unhealthy white. To me, it seemed like...with every day passing, he was getting thinner. His cheeks weren't as round as before; they've taken up meagreness but not in the mainly way. The boy's lips were getting dry and were so colourless it scared me to the bone.

But those eyes, yes, the dominant feature of his face. They were lifeless, terrifying me even more. I knew he was trying to hold on, to not let whatever was bothering him outside on the surface but despite all of his effort, I saw it. It was hidden deep, deep inside of him but it was there.

The harsh sickness which bloomed within his young body and soul. Anxiety creeped all over me, whispering mean nothings into my ears but the Italian still stood there, just flesh and skin.

Oh, whatever would I do for him to be like before. I'd throw myself into a river for his health to come anew. I'd chase monsters, troubles and whatnot for his happiness to crown his face again. I'd shove myself into a fire if it meant to see his smile again, his eyes to sparkle and his mind to be at ease.

Yet, as many say – it's easier said than done. That was utterly and, sadly, the truth. It would be a long process to find cheerfulness for him in this world again. Just, if I knew what thoughts were abusing his still childish self. Because he wasn't the only one hurting; I was also getting affected.

Maybe even more than he was.

Every time my gaze happened to fall upon him made my heart ache with great pain. It made my insides growl and crutch, and twist. My brain all but stopped working and only began to assemble the hormone of sadness.

My blind desire of helping him was so selfish I often asked myself either if I was ought to do it for him or myself. Both, perhaps. However, my own stupidity and lack of knowledge awoken anger and hatred.

Anger because I didn't know what was wrong, what I could do to help. Even the tiniest of thing would be enough. A single drop of information about Roma's current condition. But there was none and I was on the ocean again; water all around me but if it was to extinguish my thirst, it'd be useless.

At the end, all water might be the same liquid-like thing but what it consists is far from being alike. Just one single drop of that pure, salt-missing aqua would please my dying throat, Roma's clues making it the same thing.

Then, there was hatred. The strong emotion aiming at me, piercing its merciless gate through my body. It was there because I wasn't able to be much of a help. I wasn't able to give the boy a helping hand and pull him out onto the steady surface again.