Random Depressing Stories

Breaking Down Pt.1

 "Ugh school is so boring." I say to Addy. "Yea I know. How did u do on the S backs?" She asked.  

"Eh ok I guess. I go a 76%."  I respond. "Oh that's good. I got a 62%. Lol. " She says.

"Oof. How is your mom gonna react?" I ask.

"Oh she's just gonna scold me or something." She says.

"Anyway I have to go home I'll see you tomorrow." I say. 

"Ok see you tomorrow." She says while waving at me. I wave back. Then I see her again. Ugh she's so fucking cute. I think to myself. I walk up and say, "Hey Ruby." She looks over and smiles, "Hi." 

"How are you?" I ask trying not to be awkward. I mean can u blame me. I'm talking to my crush like, Oh my fuck she's cute funny smart like she's perfect. I think to myself "I'm good. What about you?" She asks.

"Oh I'm fine." I say. "Well I have to go my Grandma is waiting for me." She says.

"Oh ok I'll see you tomorrow." I say "Yeah I'll see you tomorrow." She responds. I turn and do a hop skip thing then go to my bus.  I smile as I get on my bus. I sit back and start listening to music. I feel someone plop down next to me. I take out my head phones and say, "Hi" 

"Hello" she says back and asks if I want a piece of gum I accept and then put my head phones back on and thank her.  Anyway I continue listening to my songs until the bus stops at my stop. I smile and wave to the bus driver.  As I'm walking home I'm thinking. Ugh yay back to hell I go. I walk into the house and smell a strong sent of  booze. Fuck. I think because I know that when my parents drink it gets bad. 

I try to go to my room ignoring that my dad is passed out and my mom is doing lord knows what. Well I almost made it to my room when my mom cam out of it. "Ugh you again." She says in a drunken tone. "Well yea I am you daughter." She rolls her eyes. Then says," I found this." holding up my journal. 

"Please put that back."  I say trying not to make her mad. "There's some interesting stuff in this. Who's Ruby and why are you writing stuff like, 'I think I'll finally ask her out later this week' and 'Why does she hate herself like that" I look at my mom and say, "It's just a book mom. Why don't you go lay down?" I ask trying to make her fall asleep. 

"No. Tell me who she is!" She yell. Oh this is great. "She's  someone I like ok." I say in a irritated tone. 

"Is that attitude?!" My mom yells and punches me a cross the face. I start "crying" as my mom says," She will never love you. Your just a screw up. A mistake. Something I wish was never born. A useless bitch." My mom then grabs my hair and throws me to the ground. She kicks me a couple times. And stops once I say, "Ok I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being disrespectful ma'am." 

She just glares and then walks to the couch leaving me on the floor. I pick myself back up and limp to my room with my journal in hand. Why me why am I such a failure?. Why am I here anymore?. I just want to be free. I hate my mom. She can die for all I care. I think as I sob into my hands.  I tell my self to stop crying and suck it up. 

I get up and look out into my living room my mom is passed out now. Good. I think. Then I walk into my bathroom and lift up my shirt taking it off. I have huge bruises on my sides and a black eye from the punch. I get back and look at my body and start to cry again. Why dose she have to hit me? Whatever. I think as I try to stop crying. I go into the kitchen and cook some Mac N' Cheese for dinner. I sit down and eat. 

Then I go back to my room and write some more in my journal. Well today I did ok on my test. I got another beating because my mom found out abt me liking Ruby . I really dont care tho bc she cant control who i love. Jokes on her.  After that I fall asleep.