Random Depressing Stories

Psychotic Pt.4

My heart seems to explode but my movements remain slow and soft. I did want this but... wtf this is actually happening?!?!? I pull back and I can't talk, "What's wrong?" They ask me. I just smile because their face is even more red than mine. "Nothing." I say softly and I try not to let myself giggle because I just don't do that.

They smile at me and I remember what I need from them but I push it off for now. They finish putting their shirt on, "You could of left it off it's not like I mind." I say giving an over exaggerated smirk. "You wish." They say smugly. I roll my eyes but smile at them. 

I sigh and sit down next to them on the bed we have some time before group starts. I like sitting with them. It's quiet and peaceful. We have only known each other for a little over 2 months now but it feels longer but also shorter at the same time. I don't think all the time in the world would be enough time with Jay. 

I look back at them right as that thought came into mind. I don't say anything. I just look down and slide my hand over their hand squeezing it gently. They look at me and look back down. "Are you ok?" They ask me softly in a nicer tone than normal even though their normal tone to me is really nice. "Yea can we just sit here for a while?" I ask without looking up. 

"Sure." They say as they shift a bit and set their head on my head. They take their head off and rock a little. They seem to be expecting something. "What's up you seem to be expecting something?" I ask and lift my head up to look at them. "No lol I'm ok." They say. I think hard for a second. Wait no. Hold up. It's only been 2 months. Do they feel the same way as me.

Fuck I know I like them but like should I? "Uh do you like me? Like not as a friend but like more." My words seem to slow down the more I talk. They don't say anything but nod "Yes dumb ass why do you think I let you kiss me????" They say sarcastically. "Uh I don't fucking know I mean I've kissed people without feelings." I say but kinda regret saying that. "Oh. I know you like me. You make it obvious. You always stare at me and always have your dumb ass smile on." They say.

They are joking with the dumb ass thing but shit yea I probably made it obvious. I laugh at myself and then at them. They have a flushed face and it's adorable. I remembered it. "I need you to get a swipe card off one of the guards." "What why?" "Because I want to get out of here and I want you to come with me." I say as I have a determined look on my face. "Ok bet." They say nonchalantly. "Huh? Really?" I ask maybe a little surprised they are down. 

"Yea I have nothing better to do. Me and you both know no one gives a shit about me plus I'm pretty sure my mom left me here to rot." They laugh but I feel a little bad for them but then again I have literally no one, well except them. "Ok well..." 

I explain everything. They listen, "Wait where is the house?" "About 4 hours from here at least." I say, "Oh well is ur dude gonna give us a ride?" "Yea for the most part but we have to get off the radar and walk the rest which is about an hour or 2." I say slowly. "Ok bet." They say and we both start smiling. 

~Next morning~ 

After breakfast I go to the day-room and cause a fight between 2 girls as a distraction Jay comes in and slips the card off a nurse as they are dealing with the girls fighting. They shove it into the band of their pants and they sit next to me. I smirk at them and they smirk back. "We will leave tonight late after we get our pressure tested." "Mkkk." They say and I grab the remote. They try and take it.

I laugh because I have my whole hand covering their face and then my hand slips to their neck and they squeak which makes me draw my hand back and laugh harder at them. They smack me and I just laugh harder. They put their head down and start giggling while covering their mouth like normal. 

I turn on the tv and we watch until lunch where they head to the room and I head to our room with my food. I sit and wait about 30 mins for them to get back to the room. The nurses and the 1 security guard don't really bother us or care about us anymore. We have been here for to long so they don't really give a fuck anymore. 

Jay comes in and I grab their hand pulling them onto the bed laying next to them. "You're so clingy." They say as they roll to face me. "Yes and is that a bad thing?" I ask with my smirk. "No it's.. cute." They say and smile at me. Fuck their smile is so cute. I turn away from them. "Whatt?" They say as I start laughing. "Nothing." I say as I face them again. 

"Wanna just stay in here til dinner?" I ask. "Sure." I sit up and then get an amazing idea. I grab their waist and squeeze, pushing my fingers into the nerves on their sides. They jolt and try to wriggle out. They start laughing and I move my fingers to their stomach tickling them, they shriek and kick their legs out and hit me in my thigh with their heal and that hurt and I fall off them. 

They start laughing with me and then at me as I lose my balance and fall off the bed. They grab my wrist and help me back up. I lay down and we stopped laughing slowly. My eyes meet theirs and I feel myself get flushed. I lean my face in slowly they do as well and our lips meet again. I smile into the kiss slowly moving my hand to their face. I hear footsteps and spring away. 

I jump to my bed and grab a journal really quick. The nurse comes in and gives us our meds and I curse to myself as she checks my bpm. "Are you ok? Your heart is racing." "Yea I was just doing push ups and stuff." I say trying to cover what just happened. Jay had a more calm collected response. 

When the nurse leaves we start laughing, "Push ups??" They laugh at me. "Yea yea shhh." I say as I get back up and sit next to them. "Are you sure you wanna go with me?" I ask. "Yes." They respond quickly and confidently. "Ok well it's almost dinner time and then in about 3 hours after that we will be gone." I say excitedly. 

"Yesss." They say and I rest my head back on the wall. Jay does the same and then hesitantly rests their head on my shoulder. Dinner gets called and we spring up and go. After dinner I go into my room and take something I made a long time ago and slip it into the back of my pants. "What was that?" Shae asks. Shit. "Uhhh nothing?" I say smiling. "Mhm sure come here." "Make me." I say and regret it. "Fine." They say coming over to me.

They try to get behind me but I turn and move. "What was thattt?" They ask again. "Shhh nothing." I say they step to me and my back hits the dresser. Fuck- They smirk at me and grab my waist. Their face gets inches from mine and they slip their hands behind me pulling the shiv from my pants. "Why?" They ask and back up. "Just in case." I say giving a different smile. They look at me for a second. "Do you have another one?" They ask.

"Maybe but I need something in return." "And what's that?" They ask slyly. I just smirk and grab their hips pulling them to me, "This." I say and slip my hands up to their face pulling their face to mine kissing them again. It was only for a few seconds before I tried to pull away but their hands went to my face. Fuck it. 

I deepen the kiss and their hands rest to my hips. I slide my hand to their neck and push my tongue against their lips. They let me and after about 2 mins we pull back, red faced and panting slightly. I smirk and grab my second shiv from the top of my dresser. I hand it to them. They slip it to the hip of their pants. 

We sit down and I slid my hand over theirs again. This time they roll their hand and intertwine their fingers with mine. The have their head down and I let them but set my head on their shoulder. "Lights out in 5." Someone calls and we separate. I lay in my bed waiting for the nurse to come in and once she leaves I roll to face Jay who is facing me across the room. "You ready?" I ask after about an hour of small whispers between us. "Yes."