fine line.

1.5 - Incapable of Caring

Part 1
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Chapter 5

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You and Illumi stroll towards Yorknew City, taking your time with steady, small steps whereas Gon and Killua rushed off like their lives depended on it.

The scenery around you is bleak and lifeless, yet oddly aesthetic. Barren old buildings loom on either side of you, casting shadows on the dirty road as the sun begins to set over a messy orange streak of clouds.

"I don't assume Killua and Gon gained much information for their friend out of that excursion," Illumi said, voice and face blank.

You chuckle, even though his tone contains no humor. "I agree."

The two of you continue ambling in silence for a moment. Then Illumi starts more dialogue:

"You took a big risk when defending Killua. Don't do that again."

One of your eyebrows twinges upward. He is always so protective and cautious with you during training, so his words do not bring any surprise, just slight amusement and frustration; yin and yang feelings.

"But I'm still alive. And I saved your brother, didn't I?" you ask. "If I hadn't taken that risk, Killua would very well be dead."

"The only reason your plan worked is because Killua was smart enough to realize what you were doing." Illumi looks down at you, shadows warping his calculating brows. "If Feitan had moved to strike Gon instead and you went to protect him, you and Gon would have died. Killua is unnaturally bright, and you know that. He alone is the only reason you both survived."

Illumi's words make you vaguely angry. Don't you deserve some credit? Hell, you saved his brother's life! Gon's life, too! And with no reward; you helped Illumi purely out of good conscience.

You look up at him. His molten hair glistens in the evening sunlight, gently swishing with the breeze. You decide to nag him with words that you know will get inside of his thick, emotionless head.

"Does the thought of me dying bother you?"

Illumi glares at you.

You continue. "I'm just asking. Like, if Killua hadn't recognized my conditions, and Feitan's blade struck me, but left Killua alive, what—"

You are still finishing your sentence when, suddenly, you are shoved to the ground. You hardly have time to blink before blunt force knocks the wind out of you.

With a rough exhale, you recollect yourself, only to see Illumi hovering above you. You could not get up even if you wanted to; Illumi has his hands on your shoulders, pinning you to the ground.

A bit of black hair falls out from behind his ear, brushing the side of your cheek. "Do not get smart with me, (Y/N)."

Illumi's eyes look empty. Soulless. Just like they always do. His face is aimed at you, but angled upward so that the dim sunlight shades the creases and dips on his pale features, darkening his benign expression with malice.

"It was a genuine question," you blurt, feeling frustration build in your chest.

Hisoka's words ring through your ears. "...he is incapable of caring about you like you care about him."