Stronger, With Or Without You

35~ real morbid shit

I sank to the floor and pulled my knees to my chest, reading the poem over and over again until a headache formed and I needed to use the bathroom.

Now, where can I find a bathroom in this huge ass house?

I decided to just go to Hunter's room, because it's the only place I remember the directions to, I peeked inside and sighed in relief when I noticed no one was in.

Locking myself in the bathroom, I did my business and washed my hands. Just as I was about to open the door, I heard voices and my heart leaped out of my chest.

No no no no no no no no no no no no.

I cursed in all the 6 languages I know and put my ear to the door.

"Have you seen Steph today"

"Nah man, I've been too busy trying to run away from all the teenage girls in this party"

Shit. Alex and Hunter.

I peeked through the slight opening of the door and saw them both sitting on bean bags and playing videogames.

"I can practically feel your desperation to see her" Alex laughed and Hunter threw a pillow at him.

"Shut the hell up" he said angrily while Alex continued to laugh.

"Hunter and Steph sitting on a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G" He sang and I felt a heat crawl up my neck even though none of them knew I was here.

Hunter's face went full on pink and he rolled his eyes, "I think you've been spending way too much time with Jake" he muttered and Alex snorted.

"And I think that you should put on your big boy undies and ask her out" he said in annoyance.

"I have no idea what you're talking about" he replied and I rolled my eyes.

Oh please, even a blind man could see how much you like me Black.

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say, I don't know why you're fighting the chemistry you both have. I mean, she's pretty hot man. You better get to her before someone else does" he winked and I stiffened.

"It's complicated" he said quietly and I couldn't help but agree with him silently.

Now is really not the time for high school romance, I thought as I recalled a line from the death poem.

Your love and your care got you here

Yeah... Maybe now's not the time for more loving and caring.

"Oh please, you had that whole trip you guy's went on to make a move but you didn't. It's not like she's not into you too"

Gasp. I am not!

Well, I am, bit it isn't that obvious! And why would Alex say something like that to him! Ugh, boys.

"I don't think so... I mean, past experiences for her show how much relationships suck so I really don't think she's looking for one anytime soon" he said and I couldn't help but think he's right.

Am I really ready for all that again?

I don't think my heart could handle another heartbreak.

"I get it, still doesn't mean she totally isn't in to you though" he laughed.

"I know she is" he smirked and I gasped.

A little too loudly.

They're heads turned to the bathroom door and I felt like sinking into the ground.

I quickly entered the space in the corner where the cabinet stood and the shower curtain blocked my view.

Thank God this bathroom was huge.