Let me hide

Chapter 8

"I can explain," I start as I internally panic, not even sure what I am confessing too.

"Well, go ahead," he says, intrigued.

"I have just been crazy tired and very busy you know," I say trying to convince him of something, anything.

"Huh, I'm sure," he says totally not buying it. Obviously, since I have no idea what he's wanting to hear.

"Look, I've been trying and I just you know I've been going through something" I say, pulling the "I've been going through something" card.

"That you won't tell me, I'm supposed to be the person you trust with everything" he says, and he was right.

"I know, but this is different" I say.

"Why?" He asks.

"It just is" I say looking down, trying to make no eye contact.

"You having two F's have something to do with you going through something?" He asks.

He wanted to talk to me about my grades? Well why the hell didn't he just say that.

"Yes," I say in an obvious lying tone. "No, really, yes, but it's going up now and it'll keep going up, I promise" I say.

"Do you even know what classes you have F's in?" He asks with a grin.

I take a guess, "uh, math and uh History" I say listing my two least favorite classes.

He gives me a sly look but ultimately decides to send me back to lunch. I think he actually bought the "I'm getting them back up" crap.

"Hey, can we stop by the football field before we leave?" I ask.

"Yeah, sure, we can even stay and bring Marcus back with us" he says.

I didn't want to go back with Marcus after that comment he made but he was my brother and I had to love him no matter the circumstance.

"Yeah, that sounds great" I say, before picking up my book bag and waving a bye as I walked out and back to lunch.

When I return there's only a few minutes left of lunch and I just pull out my phone to pass the time.

"You in trouble" Preston asks.

"No, he just wanted to talk" I say, no point in mentioning my failing grades.

"Must be weird for you, you know having him work here" he says.

"Not weird, just different" I explain. I'd rather see him a couple times a day rather than not at all.

Soon the bell rings and we head off to our last two classes. Preston doesn't necessarily walk me but he goes in the same direction and I can't help but feeling like he is waking me.

*****
There's only ten minutes left of class and I can certainly say I'm so done with school today. I don't know how I do this everyday. Wake up at the crack of dawn to go to a place where they only teach ten percent of the time. For 8 hours.

The last ten minutes is when the teachers are actually like hold up, let me teach you something. I be already packed up and then they be like, let's take some notes.

Today, however, our teacher looks like she's going to kill someone. She's been mad this whole period, apparently someone in her last class cussed her out or something. She didn't deserve it, she's a great teacher.

We didn't have much work to do, just finish what we didn't yesterday. Which, I only had like one or two things and I did them in the beginning of class. Having free time for the remainder.

Soon, the bell rings and I make my way to the car to put my stuff down. Once most of the people have cleared, I make my way to the football field. Where the boys are getting ready.

I sit on the bleachers and throw Preston's jersey over my sweater. Dylan soon joins me and pulls out a pack of chips. Which, of course he offers me but I say no thank you as am just solely not hungry.

The boys run and run, it most be so tiring. I understand the game, but how do they practice when all I see them do is run, run, run.

Dylan stares at me occasionally, I catch him through the center of my eye. I know he wants something, anything, so I speak.

"I try to be happy for you, for all of you, I don't think that's healthy" I say before continuing. "I'm trying to be better but negatively gets in my way. Not saying things to you, or out loud, mean that maybe there not true. But they are and I need to come to terms with that" I say keeping my attention on the game.

"Maybe, pressuring you is not the best idea. I see things you know, in the hallways. You and Julianna don't talk, you and Marcus avoid each other, practically running in the opposite direction when you see each other, you and Preston walk to your classes together" he says, also keeping an eye on the game.

"I guess your more observant than I thought. Your right, Julianna and I are over, haven't been friends in a while, Marcus and I are not really talking much anymore and Preston has become a filler for Julianna" I say.

"Be honest, your grades?" He questions in a calm tone.

"Hadn't even noticed, probably never would of either. It's science though, my grade is great in History. I'll work on it though, if you meet me halfway" I say.

"Halfway?" He questions.

"Halfway" I confirm.

"Deal" he says.

"Good" I comment.

We sit in silence for the rest of practice, just watching them run. It's so depressing, but I know Dylan is getting a kick out of them running as he eats an entire size bag of family size chips.