Haikyuu One Shots

Panic ~ Kuroken

⚠️TW⚠️ Anxiety and Panic attacks
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Sometimes I don't know why it happens. Sometimes I barely notice when it starts. Like today.

I started breathing heavily. At first I thought I was making it up. Asking for attention like everyone says I am. So I even wonder myself if I'm just making it up. Asking for attention when that's one of the things I hate most about life.

Starts with heaving breathing. I don't really think much of it. Besides, I'd rather focus on my game then what my body's trying to tell me.

When it doesn't go away that's when you realize somethings up. My hands start shaking slightly, trying to tell me in more ways that I need to do something. I exhale lightly, hearing the shakiness. I don't fully understand. I don't feel the panic sensation in my chest. Not yet anyway.

I let out another shaky breath and set down the control, standing up and pacing around the room, feeling the need to move.

I pace, shaking my hands up and down for some reason, letting out short desperate breaths.

The sensation just gets worse, making its way to my chest as I heavily breathe. I can't feel anything or think. I know how to help it. But it won't come to my brain. Focus, stop shaking, start breathing just...

The door suddenly opens. My pacing continues as my awareness of the room fades.

"Hey Ken I-" The voice stops mid sentence. Adapting to the situation or whatever. I don't need him to get through this. I don't need anyone. I never did.

Suddenly my body is pulled into a warm embrace, stopping it's pacing. I feel a tear fall as Kuroo walks me over and sits me on the edge of the bed. I bounce my leg, wanting that feeling of movement I control.

"Hey, shhh ok alright. You gotta breathe Kenma. Ok breathe in and out. Slowly." I listen, finally able to process something besides the panicky thoughts of failure. "Kenma, breathe ok." He places a hand on my thigh, stopping me from bouncing it up and down.

I take deep breath after deep breath feeling a few more tears touch my cheek before my body stops it's shaking, for the most part. My breath calms down slightly.

It's still heavy and panicky. My head comes back to reality, feeling light and floaty.

My hand, still shaking, is given a small pen which I proceed to click. Moving the small peg up and down. Quickly then slowly, listening to the noise as it's locked and unlocked in place.

Kuroo gently cups my face with his big cool hands and wipes away the tears left behind, before leaning in and pressing his soft lips against my forehead. I sigh, and click the pen slower and slower, feeling him trail his lips across my face, moving from my forehead to my cheek, to my nose and finally to my lip. Short and sweet before he pulls away, gazing at my emotionless but rosie face.

I take a deep breath, still a little shaky, and lean my head against his chest, breathing in his scent and listening to his heartbeat.

"Are you ok?" He asks quietly, calmly massaging my scalp, running his long finger through my hair. I nod against him. Not really ready to speak.

We sit there together, his heartbeat and slow breathing putting my body at ease while he plays with my hair, sending shivers down my spine whenever he slightly grazes his nails along my scalp.

"Kenma?"

"Hmmm?"

"Why do you always do this alone." I sigh and bite my lip, thinking of the right answer. Wanting to say the right thing.

"I don't know. I don't want to freak people out."

"It doesn't freak me out. All I want to do is help you. Please let me help you." I sigh and lean up, looking him in the eye and smiling lightly. My body, still shaking lightly but my mind completely clear.

"Ok." I whisper before leaning in and connecting our lips in a quick warm kiss. I smile and pull away while Kuroo wraps me in his arms, making me feel safer.

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This may or may not have been based on my experience today. Except in real life I'm forever alone. Anyway I know I don't post a lot on this one. It's mainly here for if I come up with scenes that don't fit in any of the books I'm currently writing. Anyway hope y'all are liking my books. Go check out my current one "An Unforgettable Summer." Please :)