Scared (L.S)

forty five

Harry had thought that September was one of the worst months of his life. With Louis three hours away with only texts throughout the day and biweekly video calls. With the absolute torture that school was quickly becoming without Louis there. With the bullies and the fact that Harry basically hated getting out of bed. Without Louis around, he had more and more bad days. Days where he couldn't bring himself to get out of bed. He knew his mum was concerned and Harry tried, he really did, but he couldn't. He just couldn't.

He thought that visiting Louis would make them both feel better. He knew Louis was sad too. But it had only ended in despair. Harry wasn't sure if they were together or not. He felt like they were in this weird space between together and nothing. But Harry wanted everything. He wanted something they couldn't have when Louis was off living in London and Harry was stuck in Doncaster.

They still texted. Harry couldn't help but think that he would just completely die if they stopped talking completely. But their video calls stopped and they stopped talking about how much they loved and missed each other. Instead, Louis talked about school and his friends while Harry talked about his mum and Louis' sisters, who he saw quite often.

But by the end of October, their texts had dwindled and Harry had begun to skip entire weeks of school, emailing his teachers for the work and submitting everything online. He was a good student and it was easy for him to teach himself but he knew his mother was concerned. She thought he needed more social interaction, which was probably true. Harry didn't care though.

Too soon, it was the first week of November and it had been a month since Harry had seen Louis. It was a Tuesday and Harry was alone as his mum was working late. He hadn't been to school since the Thursday before and, even then, he had only gone to write his test in second period before returning home again.

Harry had spent his morning lying in bed before venturing to the kitchen to eat lunch and work on his homework. He cooked dinner and Skyped Gemma before laying on the couch and turning on the TV, just watching whatever was on.

Harry was just drifting off when he heard a knock on the door. He wasn't sure who it could even be. No one ever came to visit them, especially without letting them no first. Odds are it's some random person trying to sell something they don't need, Harry reasoned. But then the knock came again and Harry thought, why wouldn't they ring the doorbell.

He thought about Louis, who never rang the doorbell 'cuz he didn't like the sound.

Harry sat up. What if it's Louis?

But why would it be Louis? The two had been talking less and less and they weren't even together anymore. Or were they? Harry really wasn't sure. The only thing he was sure of was that every fibre of his being was begging him to march to that door and open it.

So Harry walked to the door. He opened it to see a dripping Louis, the sky dark, rumbling clouds in the background. There were tears falling from Louis' red-rimmed eyes and all Harry could think was how much this reminded him of when Louis had shown up at his door, all those months ago after being kicked out of his mum's.

"Harry?" Louis' voice was broken and ragged and it almost scared Harry but, more than anything, it brought Harry a comfort he hadn't felt in a month.

"What happened?" Louis just shook his head.

"Can I come in?"

"What, ye-yeah of course," Harry stuttered, stepping to the side to let Louis step in. He didn't seem to have anything with him except for his car keys in his hand.

Louis toed off his shoes and slipped off his jacket, laying it across the bench. Harry couldn't help but think that it kind of belonged there.

Harry couldn't keep himself from staring at the sight of Louis in his hallway. It was so much like it had been just a few months ago. In the summer when they were constantly in and out of the house and in the spring when they went to school together each day and all the way back to winter when no one knew they were together and Louis would sneak over after school. It was almost too much to bear.