Scared (L.S)

forty

****smut in this chapter written by Mel (I'm doing this on mobile and can't tag you lol)****

It was nearing the end of March when everything changed. Things had been good. It had been about a month since everything went down with Louis' footie team, and although no one had done anything to him or Harry, Louis felt kind of awkward with the team.

Some of them he remembered from the bathroom, and still had a lot of pent up anger towards them while with some he just felt weird being around. He felt almost guilty for getting Ben kicked off the team and he knew that everyone knew it was his fault. Sure, Ben was a twat, but there was this code within the team that whatever happens happens, but your teammates are your brothers. Louis had never felt that way about them.

Louis had never told Harry what happened. Just that one of the kids that had beat him up was kicked off the team and that the coach had talked to all of them. Harry didn't say anything but he frowned at Louis' bruised knuckles, insisting he clean the small cuts littering his boyfriend's hands.

But it was good. Louis liked being out, he liked being out with Harry. The two had started walking each other to class and hanging out together, and with Ed and Stan. Louis had switched seats in English class so they could sit together and they would spend the whole class passing notes and smiles and quiet nudges under the desks.

And then came the end of March and Louis got an email. It was a Tuesday, which meant that Anne worked late and Louis and Harry had the time to get each other off slowly and intimately. They hadn't had sex yet. Neither of them had done it before and frankly, neither of them felt ready. Even though they were 18 (and 17) and they had been together for six months at that point, Louis especially didn't feel like it was enough. He wanted the world for Harry and, although he knew in his heart that they would be together forever, he still wanted to be careful. Six months just felt too early.

But they got each other off and they were happy. They were entirely content to stick to blow jobs and hand jobs and occasionally, when they had more time, fingering.

That day they had a bit more time. When they were done, Harry went to shower - he always liked to shower after - and Louis lay on the bed in a state of blissful peace. A few minutes after Harry had left, he grabbed his phone from the bedside, which was blasting a certain playlist, and he decided to check his email.

And there it was. His future sitting in an inbox.

Congratulations! You have been accepted...

And Louis was happy, he really was. But his first thought, after a quick burst of excitement, was Harry.

Because this school, the only one he had heard back from, was in London. And it was a damn good school.

Louis hadn't really expected to get in. His marks weren't that great and, after talking to Gemma, really only thought he could get into Liverpool. His marks weren't good enough to get into anywhere else. But UCL, the school that was now offering him a spot, had a supplementary application, so they had looked at more than just his grades. And, to be frank, Louis had some damn good things to talk about. He wrote about leadership and footie and he had also taken advantage of the fact that he had a boyfriend and had written about the struggles associated with being gay. He had felt slightly ashamed for taking advantage of it, but if it was going to get him into school then so be it.

And now there he was. He had gotten in.

How was he going to tell Harry?

Louis put his phone back on Harry's side table, plugging it in and just letting the sound of the 1975 relax him as he tried to figure out how he could possibly tell Harry that he was leaving.