Scared (L.S)

twenty five

The next day, Harry went to school, Anne went to work, and Louis took the day to himself. Both boys had woken up in Harry's bedroom to the sound of an alarm. Harry groaned and sat up, grabbing his phone to turn it off before turning to his boyfriend. Louis had his face pressed into the pillow so Harry reached over and started running his hand through Louis' hair slowly. Louis groaned and leaned into the boy's touch.

Harry smiled and leaned down, pressing his lips to the shell of Louis' ear before whispering, "Morning Lou, you'll be okay?"

Louis nodded his head slightly so Harry rolled out of bed, changing quickly into his uniform and pulling one of Louis' hoodies from the floor, over his clothes. Then Harry walked back over to his bed, pulling the covers up around his boyfriend and lying back down next to him, over the comforter. Louis revealed his face from the pillow, leaving the boys to be face to face.

Harry leaned in and pressed a kiss to each of the older boy's cheeks, then his nose, and his chin.

"What're you doing?" Louis whispered.

Harry hummed, continuing to press kisses to Louis' face, "Just making sure you're gonna be okay."

Louis smiled and grabbed Harry's face to keep him in place, just an inch away. "I love you, baby."

Harry leaned in and pressed a kiss to Louis' lips, the older boy kissing back for a moment before pulling away. "I love you, too."

Harry sat up but Louis could still sense his hesitation to leave so he reached across and took his hand. "I'll be okay, now go."

Harry leaned down and pressed one more kiss to the side of Louis' face. "Okay, okay."

---

Louis stayed in bed for a couple more hours until he began to feel restless. He sighed and got dressed, settling for a pair of Harry's joggers along with one of the younger boy's hoodies. Louis then went down to the kitchen, quickly eating some cereal before grabbing his keys and heading out the door.

Louis hadn't driven in the daytime since he had gotten kicked out of his mother's house, given that he really only went for evening drives with Harry. However, Louis swallowed around the lump in his throat and started the engine, pulling onto the road, driving aimlessly as he fiddled with his CD's.

Louis settled on a song as he pulled in front of the house where he used to live. He missed his sisters, and his mum, and his old life. He missed feeling like he had a home. Sure, Anne and Harry were very welcoming, but nothing was the same as family. Louis could feel pain in his chest as he looked at the chalk drawings littering the empty driveway, clearly the work of the twins. He missed them so. fucking. much.

Louis had taken to texting Lottie quite frequently, her being the only one with a cell phone, however, he hadn't gotten the chance to speak with his sisters as Lottie was afraid of getting them caught by their mother.

Louis sighed and pulled away from the house, the family, that was causing him so much pain. And then Louis drove into town, the busy part where he could see so many people simply living their lives, something he couldn't seem to figure out how to do anymore.

Louis parked at a coffee shop and walked in, ordering a tea and a slice of cake before taking a seat in the corner by a window, where he could see the people walking by.

Louis was completely caught up in his thoughts when his food was placed on the table in front of him.

"T-thank you," Lous stuttered out, feeling very on edge for some reason. He looked up at the worker that had brought his food over. He had dark hair, olive skin, and tattoos all the way up his arms.

"You alright man?" He asked Louis. He nodded and the boy walked away. Louis couldn't help but think that maybe, on a different day, in a different life, they may have been friends.

---

"I feel like an orphan," Louis whispered.

Harry turned to look at him. The two of them were lying in Louis' car, seats all the way back so they could stare out the sunroof at the stars.

Harry reached across the armrest and grabbed Louis' hand, intertwining their fingers. "How so?"

"Neither of my parents are here. Neither of them wants to be my parent. No parents equal orphan."

Harry pursed his lips and thought for a moment, "My mum loves you."

Louis squeezed his hand and looked over. "Really?"

Harry nodded, "She's always talking 'bout you on the phone to Gemma. Saying how much better you are then me."

Louis allowed himself a small smile in Harry's direction. "No way am I better than you, baby."

"'Course you are, Lou."

"How so?" Louis said, mocking Harry's earlier question.

Harry shrugged and moved to climb over the armrest, settling onto Louis' lap. "You're so..."

"So?" Louis asked before beginning to kiss along Harry's jaw lightly.

"So, umm, everything, Lou. You're super fit and good at soccer, smart, good with your sisters. You're absolutely adorable."

Louis pulled Harry in for a kiss.

"You're also a really good kisser."

Louis smiles and holds Harry tightly against his chest. When he felt like he did then, helpless, lonely, scared, all he wanted to do was make sure Harry felt loved. So anytime he felt bad, Louis would hold Harry tightly against his chest and keep him there until Louis could breathe again. And Harry loved it. He loved being held in the arms of his boyfriend, even if he was slightly taller than him now.

"Gemma said we should go up to see her," Harry mumbled into Louis' chest, voice muffled by the fabric of his shirt.

"Oh?" Louis replied, "Doesn't she have classes or something though?"

Harry chuckled, "I don't know how much she actually goes to class."

Louis laughed quietly and let his hand trail up Harry's back to rest in his hair.

"I mentioned to her that you were staying with us now and she said we could go stay with her for a weekend, check out the uni and stuff," Harry explained.

"I guess that would be fun, yeah," Louis agreed, "Get away for a bit."

Harry nodded, "So we can go?"

"If your mum says its okay, I guess. We've got Friday off next weekend so if Gemma says that's fine I can drive us down that morning and we can come back on Sunday."

"Okay," Harry said, Louis could hear the smile in his voice, "I miss her."

"I miss my sisters too."

"You should have them over, mum would love that."

Louis thought for a moment, "Maybe just Lottie and maybe Fizz too? All of them are a lot."

"Have them come for dinner tomorrow? We can have a family game night or something. You, Lottie and Fizzy versus me and my mum?"

Louis grinned and pulled Harry up so they were eye to eye.

"You're everything," Louis whispered before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to Harry's nose.

Harry just nodded, a smile gracing his face as he leaned in and pressed their cheeks together.

And for the first time in a while, Louis couldn't help but think that maybe it would be okay.

---

I know that with everything going on in the world at the moment I should feel sad or anxious, that seems to be how everyone else is feeling.

but fuck

I feel like I'm on top of the world rn

xx