Don't Say Anything

88. Threaten Me With Cats

I scoot myself closer to his bare chest and his hand moves from my face to my arm and then down my side making me shiver.

“What did Annabelle say to you?” he asks shyly.

“How did the rest of the event go?” I ask instead of answering. The focus of this trip should be Will, not me.

“I’ll tell you as soon as you tell me what she said to you.”

I glare at him, but his smug expression doesn’t change.

“She was just being annoying.”

“Explain.”

I roll my eyes, but continue because I know he won’t move on.

“Reminding me of things I don’t want to think about.”

He furrows his eyebrows.

“Elaborate.”  

“Will,” I groan. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“And normally I would be okay with that, but nothing she said could have been true. I don’t want you to continue to think that it is.”

“What bothered me the most about what she said is true, but we’ve already talked about it and we don’t have to talk about it again for a while. So moving on…”

I know what he’s going to say if I bring up what Annabelle said about our future, and I don’t want to be reminded once again.

“Jess, what did she tell you? I’m not going to ask again.”

“Good. Don’t ask again.”

“Jessica.”

Ohhh, Jessica. Fine! He wins.

“Have your views on marriage changed at all?” I ask hesitantly.

A smile crosses his face which makes my heart fill with hope. Then he chuckles.

“Of course not. What the hell would make you think that?”

Me, I think. I thought maybe I would make you think differently.

“Nothing,” I say looking away from his amused eyes. He thinks of it as a joke. “Annabelle just brought it up again. That’s all.”

“And that’s what was bothering you? Jessi, I’ve been very clear about my views on marriage and you exactly why I-“

“I know, I know,” I cut him off so he doesn’t push the knife further into my chest. I don’t want to get married soon, but I do eventually. I can’t imagine marrying anyone else, and it makes me more upset than it should that Will doesn’t imagine marrying me. But I’m not going to be one of those scary girlfriends who always brings up the future like she has already named her five kids and picked out where she would live. I have no idea where we would live because I still want to move to New York and Will would be stationed in North Carolina. And it’s not like I have a list of names I would want to name our never existing children…

“So why does it bother you?” he asks.

“I said I don’t want to talk about it. I already told you what she said, so can we not talk about it?”

Is he really that oblivious that he can’t figure out why it would bother me? Is it so strange that I picture myself married someday? Apparently for Will it is. But I have to remember the horrible view of marriage that he’s been exposed to. Will has changed so much since I’ve known him and especially since he’s moved to North Carolina, so his views on marriage can still change. We have years before it becomes an issue. I don’t know why Will insists on talking about it now.